Choosing Joy

cupcake-279523_1920

This month I’ve been participating in a 30-day Joy Challenge hosted by my friends Amina Makhdoom and Jeannette Maw.

As an Energy Leadership practitioner I’m very familiar with the idea that one of the highest levels of energy is signified by the experience of resonant joy, and I was very keen to hop on this bandwagon and spend the month seeking joy.

We all have the same amount of energy and it shows up a little differently for each of us. According to the Energy Leadership model there are 7 levels of energy. The lower levels of energy, which show up as depression, fear, anger, conflict, jealousy, victim energy, etc. are all mostly catabolic, (which is the type of energy that creates stress and destroys our
health and relationships.)

The higher levels of energy are progressively anabolic, (anabolic literally means to “build up” – exactly the opposite end of the spectrum than catabolic.) Anabolic energy heals and builds, and one of the highest levels of anabolic energy is exemplified by the emotion of Joy.

Choosing to experience joy on a daily basis is a powerful decision.

The participants were encouraged to do one thing each day that would bring them joy. Even if it was just 2 minutes of joy. That sounds pretty easy, right?

Well…there is a reason why this project was called a “challenge” and as the month went on more and more people opened up to just exactly what the challenges were for them.

My own personal challenge arrived just a few days into the challenge in the form of a close friend being hurt by one of their family members. How do I continue to be joyful when someone I love is hurting? How do I bring the joy back when tears and consolation seem more appropriate? Those were the questions I was asking, and the answers did come for a powerful learning which I’ll share below – (#4).

Another challenge I had – there were plenty of opportunities to flex my receiving muscles. Like many of us, for me giving was easy – receiving proved to be stickier for me. We had a “spread the joy day” where many of us gave gifts and money to others. I had a blast handing out $5 bills. People were genuinely shocked and surprised. You might have thought I was handing out $100 bills! The responses were truly joyful and I had so much fun being the giver. It was the receiving where my big challenge showed up. During a day when we were all offering gifts to the other participants I noticed some a lot of resistance coming up for me. Resistance to throwing my name in the hat. Resistance to saying “yes, I’d love that, thank you.” But I did it. And wow, the generosity of the group astounded me. And SO much joy was created from all of this generosity.

This challenge has been so powerful for me. I want to share a dozen ideas so you can create a more joyful life experience, too.

1. Choose Joy. Yeah, this might sound simple, but everything begins with an intention, a choice. So begin here: Choose to experience more joy in your life. Make the choice daily.

2. Listen to your body. Your body knows what brings you joy. Learn to listen to it. What feels like something you’d enjoy right now? The Joy Challenge participants had a real love affair with cupcakes, led by our fearless leader Amina who has a legendary relationship with cupcakes. Hey, if cupcakes can help you attract what you want
in your life, I say eat a cupcake. (And I ate my share, believe me.)

3. Make a list. I often have my clients make a “self-care boot camp” list. That’s a list of the things you need to be sure to take care of when you are in a time of intense stress (my own list includes meditation, extra protein, yoga,
fiction reading breaks, etc.) And I think maybe even more important now is a “Joy List”. Create a list of at least 10 things that bring you joy. Post it somewhere you can see this list of joyful things everyday. Do the things.

4. Feel ALL of your feelings. When something that is definitely NOT joyful comes your way (and it will), allow yourself to feel what you feel. All of your feelings are a miracle. All of them give you valid and important information about what’s going on for you. Your emotions and feelings are how your higher self communicates with you. Feel the feelings and let them pass, then the joy returns. If you ignore the feelings they get louder.
Don’t ignore them.

5. Get a joy partner. (or a whole group!) to support you in choosing joy. Joy is contagious. Energy entrains to itself. If you are constantly around others who are consciously creating joy your joy level will definitely increase.

6. Laugh. Watch a comedy, look at funny videos, learn a new joke, try some laughing yoga – whatever you have to do to get a belly laugh in once a day at least. Do you know one of the best questions to gauge how a relationship is doing is to ask “When was the last time the two of you had a belly laugh together?” Laughter is anabolic. It heals. Make sure you’re doing it. A lot.

7. Revisit your childhood. What is something that you loved as a child? Hopskotch? Sidewalk chalk? Blowing bubbles? Drawing? Singing? Jumprope? (Don’t hurt yourself). Going to the zoo? Eating cupcakes? What gave you joy as a child? Go do that.

8. Appreciate someone. During our challenge we had a day of appreciation. A couple of people gave me shout-outs of appreciation that were so heartfelt and amazing (and unexpected!) they brought tears to my eyes. It made me realize how powerful appreciation can be, and how much joy it brings when we communicate it.

9. HUG someone. Hug them for 20 seconds. Hugging causes our brain/body to produce chemicals that feel good. And the  bonus is that a hug is truly a gift you can’t give without getting one yourself.

10. Dance! One of my favorite quotes is from Rabbi Nachman of Breslov (who was said to be ‘beleaguered by melancholy’) – he said, “The only way to rise after a fall is to dance your way up!”  Music and dancing can lift a mood almost instantaneously.

11. Give. The thing that seemed to generate the most joy (as I observed it) was generosity.  The days that were specifically set apart for gift giving and appreciation were the days that seemed to just BURST with joy.

12. Don’t give up! Keep reaching for joy. Nearly everyone of us that participated in the Joy Challenge had days when joy didn’t come as easily as other days. It’s okay. You’re a human being and that means you’re going to encounter a wide range of emotions and experiences in your life. That’s how it is supposed to be. We appreciate the joy even more because of the less-than-joyful things we go through.

People sometimes tell me that they have trouble meditating. They say, “My mind keeps wandering and I keep having to bring it back over and over.” I tell them, “Wonderful! You’re doing it!!” That’s what meditation is, it’s a practice of bringing your mind back to center over and over each time it wanders.  I like to think of joy the same way, we will all have less than joyful experiences in our day to day lives – just remember to bring yourself back to joy.

Love & Magic (and JOY!),

Cindie

Posted in General | 2 Comments

Letting It Be Easy

waterfall-851041_1920

If you’ve ever been my client you’ve probably heard me encourage you to “let it be easy.”

For some strange reason most of us think that the harder we work the more successful we’ll be. Actually, it isn’t a strange reason at all…most of us were raised in a family/culture/community that exhorted us to “work hard” every time we turned around.

However, the law of nature is the way of least resistance. Water travels down hill, electrical currents follow the easiest path, plants will grow around a rock – they don’t try to tunnel through it. Everywhere we look in nature we see the law of least resistance. That beautiful water is not struggling to tumble down that waterfall.

Non-resistance is imperative to magic. The only thing we’ll be really successful at manifesting if we’re resisting is more of whatever we’re resisting.

When I look back at the most enjoyable manifestations I’ve partaken in, like the time I manifested an owl, or the time I got a voicemail from the Universe, or even a few weeks ago when my car pretty much sold itself, I can see that there was no struggle at all. There was hardly even any action taken, let alone struggle. I was completely non-resistant and the manifestations came about with little to no effort on my part.

So that brings us to the big question. HOW do we let it be easy? HOW do we become non-resistant?

The answer of course is to stop making it be hard. Stop struggling. Stop resisting.

Of course that sounds simple. And actually it is simple. In a nutshell: just do what feels better.

Take a break. Forget about it. Trust the process. Trust the Universe. Trust your self.

And go have some fun.

I’m not saying that you should blow off your responsibilities, because taking responsibility for your entire life experience is the first thing you must do to create magic. I am saying that giving yourself a break and doing something fun will begin to shift the resistance, even if it’s just for 5 minutes.

You see, resistance is a pattern. And taking a 5 minute break to have fun is breaking the pattern.

Being resistant or non-resistant is a state. In any given moment you are either in the state of resistance or the state of non-resistance. The four things that create your state are your language, your physiology (or body language), your beliefs, and your focus.

The easiest of these four to change are your language (stop telling that story!!), and your physiology (get up outta that chair and dance or go for a walk or have some other kind of fun for 5 minutes).

What feels good to you? What brings you joy? Playing with puppies? Dancing? Listening to a great song? Giving someone a hug?

Our worries and fears are always connected to the past or the future, but all of our manifesting power is only ever here in the present, right now. So be present and let it be easy. Intend to feel better for the next 5 minutes…and then the next…and the next. Before you know it you’ll be making magic left and right.

Go have some fun, and let it be easy.

Love & Magic,

Cindie

Posted in General | 2 Comments

Generosity

 

dandelion-735814_1920If you’ve read my last few posts you know I’ve been blogging about the things I want to feel this year. My annual theme used to be a word or two for the year, and now somehow it has morphed into a veritable buffet of words. Words that depict feelings and emotions, because I’ve decided that it may be really effective to just decide how I want to feel and focus on that (yes, a pretty basic Law of Attraction 101 kind of thought).

I’ve already written about the first four desired feelings on my list – Powerful, Magical, Safe, and Prosperous. Now I want to reveal the fifth and final feeling word on my list: Generous.

In the world of Magic (or Conscious Creation) we often hear about how important it is to exercise our “receiving muscles”. Law of Attraction at it’s most basic is just two steps: 1. Ask, and 2. Receive or Allow.

(Actually, the truest Magic can be boiled down to one step – Allow.)

But that’s often easier said than done. Many of us grew up hearing that it “is better to give than to receive” and so learning how to allow abundance in can be somewhat of a learning curve. If you were scolded as a child about being selfish it may be difficult now to find a way to allow anything in. Or if you’ve bought into the concept of “deserving.”

The quicker we can learn that giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin the sooner we can experience both generosity and abundance. If we want to give, we have to have a receiver, and if we wish to receive we have to be okay with someone else doing the giving. These two things are so entangled that we can’t have one without the other, and when we shut down our receiving abilities we prevent others from giving! We actually shut down generosity when we can’t receive.

I’m sure we’ve all been guilty at one time or another of saying “No” to someone wanting or trying to give to us. “I’ll pick up the tab for lunch today.” “Oh, no, no, let me get it.” I’m thinking of a certain friend of mine, we would have to hunt the waiter down and pay behind the other’s back before the check arrived if we wanted to have any chance of buying the other one lunch. We used to practically fight over the ticket. Obviously we had great giving abilities but we weren’t so versed in receiving at that time.

The fear of being selfish often creates a deficit in the self-care and self-love department. It seems it’s especially difficult for us to be generous with our selves.

So this year as I wrote my list I realized that prosperity and generosity had to go hand in hand for me. I had made the choice to be prosperous last year. Now, I wanted to make sure that I was being generous as well.

It’s easy to make the mistake of connecting generosity with money. When we win the lottery we’ll all be sure to give a nice big donation to our favorite charity and we’ll do something nice for our friends and family as well.

But generosity isn’t just about money. It isn’t just about giving to charity or picking up the lunch tab. In fact, true generosity is much, much deeper than dollars. It is a way of being that shows itself in areas that have nothing to do with money. It has to do with being willing to give whatever we have now.

Generosity is being able to find a kind word when there isn’t much inspiring you to do so.

Generosity is loving someone who is behaving in an unlovable way.

It’s more than a Facebook “like” – it’s taking a moment to leave a thoughtful comment.

It’s a smile given for no reason. It’s holding the door for a stranger, a hug given with an intention of love and compassion. A look into a stranger’s eyes that contains the blessing of “Namaste“.

Generosity creates an open-heartedness that heals broken-heartedness.

Generosity happens when we stop rushing. When we recognize that there is enough time, there is enough love, there is enough money.

Generosity is choosing to take the high road when others are not.

Generosity is being willing to forgive. In fact, this may be the ultimate in generous acts.

Over at The Love & Magic Salon we routinely do an exercise where we consciously choose an “I AM” statement for the day as a way of bringing qualities we want to embody into physical reality. A few weeks ago my statement was “I am generous.”

Then I asked myself, “How can I show up as a generous person today?”

The answers surprised me, because all day long I kept finding opportunities, and pretty much none of them had anything to do with money.

I could answer a Facebook post with more than just a “like”. I could compliment someone. I could give a little extra time to a client. I could offer a free coaching session. I could hold the door for someone. I could let my judgments go and see someone in a better light, just by choosing to do it.

And then…I could forgive. Hmmm didn’t see that one coming.

I realized immediately that this – forgiveness – is probably the most generous action we can take. And it’s not only generous towards others, it’s generous towards our self – because forgiveness opens the door to abundance, whereas resentment and unforgiveness nail it shut.

When we hold grudges, judgments, unforgiveness,  and resentment, we weigh our self down and shut down our ability to receive. We close up. We dry up. And the more we refuse to forgive, the more others find reasons to hold things against us. That’s just basic Law of Attraction.

So here’s something I’ve come to learn. The easiest way I know to forgive is to ask for blessings upon those who have wronged me. Big blessings. Blessings of clarity and self-love. Financial blessings, blessings for perfect health and strong happy relationships. Blessings for success. Blessings for joy. Blessings for Bliss.

That might sound crazy, but it’s forgiveness in action.

And there is no way that I can keep holding a grudge or feeling resentment or unforgiveness for someone while I’m asking the Universe to bring them huge blessings.

Forgiving may be the quintessential act of generosity. And we can do it every day.

And here’s the beautiful part, forgiveness frees us

When we step into generosity we open the door for abundance to rush in.

Besides that, it feels amazing. 🙂

Generosity is a state of being. It will show up in our actions, yes, just like every other state of being we choose and develop for our self. Our outer world is a reflection of our inner world, and so the bonus is that when we develop a state of generosity the world begins to be more generous with us as well.

That’s a serious win-win in my book.

Love & Magic,

Cindie

Posted in Communication, Conscious Creation, General, Magic, Personal Growth, relationships | 2 Comments

Choosing Prosperity

street-sign-141396_1280

This year I’m choosing prosperity. I’ve chosen a multi-layered “theme” this year described most easily by five different words. In recent posts I’ve written about the first three words, Powerful, Magical, and Safe. The fourth word on my list is Prosperous. All five of my word choices explain how I want to feel this year.

One day during the Summer of 2015 I was thinking about the theme of “Love & Magic” and how it not only was my theme for 2011 but it ended up becoming an overall theme for my life and business. On that particular day I was in the midst of a tight spot financially and I had an forehead slap moment – I actually said to myself, “Why didn’t I choose Love & Magic & Big Money?”

And then it hit me. It was as simple as that. I made the choice to have a magical life. I made a choice to find love. A decision. A non-negotiable decision. I hadn’t yet made a non-negotiable decision to prosper.

If you had asked me I would have said, “Yes, I want to prosper”,  but the truth is I was still in the wishing and hoping arena. I hadn’t decided for prosperity. I was finding myself “hoping” that more money would come in, instead of “deciding” that more money would come in. Can you tell the energetic difference in those two ideas?

That realization hit me so hard that I made the choice that day. I was not waiting until the beginning of the year to have a new theme. I was choosing prosperity now.

You’ve heard me say plenty of times that our experience is directly connected to our identity. Well, here is the perfect example – a woman who is hoping to be prosperous is a completely different identity than a prosperous woman. I know that anything is possible once we make a choice. So I made the choice immediately.

Things began to shift very quickly, as soon as I stepped into the shoes of someone who was choosing to prosper and making it a non-negotiable decision.

Since I’m a relationship coach I study a lot of material dealing with relationship issues, and I coach a lot of people around their relationships. A common thing that happens in relationship is that someone can be very afraid of being alone/lonely/abandoned AND be afraid of being vulnerable/being known/connecting deeply. This creates a dynamic of pushing and pulling. Pulling in close, then pushing away.

I had such an aha moment about how this same strange dynamic can play out in other areas of life as well…like our finances – being afraid of poverty AND afraid of being wealthy, being resistant to lack AND being resistant to wealth. Or other endeavors where we are afraid of failure AND afraid of success.

What I realized is that in these scenarios where we are afraid of both ends of the spectrum we end up keeping ourselves stuck in the middle – which most of the time means lukewarm, mediocre, ho hum, not to mention boring and frustrating.

We can make a conscious non-negotiable decision to be the person who has an amazing and exciting soulmate relationship, a consistent flow of prosperity, and a high rate of success instead of a lukewarm relationship, just being comfortable (or maybe even just getting by) and a ho hum success rate.

But here’s the catch – when we make a conscious non-negotiable decision it’s going to show up in how we behave, how we think, what we say, who we are. There will be evidence of that decision. There will be action to back up the intention.

So this year I’ve been doing things a little differently. Here are few of the habits I’ve developed that have had the most impact where prosperity is concerned.

1. Tracking it. Every financial planner will tell you that you need to track your expenditures. But for me that just puts the focus on what’s going OUT – and since what we focus on expands, I’ve had a much better result when I’ve focused on what’s coming IN. I use a little notebook that sits on my desk and every penny that comes in gets written down. Even if it’s a penny I found on the sidewalk. Giftcards, found money, discounts on items that I would have spent full price on anyway – all get noted and tracked. Another great place to “track” your money goals is my all-time favorite work book for money relationship management: 12 Months of Miracles & Manifestation by Morgana Rae.

2. Welcoming it. I have a little bell, when money comes in we ring the bell and welcome it in. It’s a very celebratory feeling to ring that bell and say “Welcome Money!” I like to think that money feels so appreciated it just can’t wait to show up at my house.

3. Reading about it. I read a lot. Mostly I read books that will help me be a better coach. This year I’ve added a steady stream of two other genres – the first being books on money consciousness.

There are so many great books on this topic it was hard to narrow it down but I didn’t want to over load you!

Here are a few of my favorites:

Money Mojo Magic by Jeannette Maw
The Energy of Money by Maria Nemeth
The Trance of Scarcity by Victoria Castle
The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist
Feel Free to Prosper by Marilyn Jenett

The other genre of books I’ve added over the past year is fiction. You know, reading just for fun. This week I’m reading The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Real Magic: A Novel (and it is a fun book so far!) and the Handsome Sweetheart and I are reading All the Light We Cannot See (it is a very powerful and beautiful book). I’m enjoying both books and the bonus is that  having fun has an effect on our level of prosperity.

4. Mantras: “The more fun I have the more money I make”. <—this is a money mantra I got from my friend Jeannette Maw, isn’t it great?! Plus it reminds me to have more fun (like reading fiction and playing outside!). Money mantras and affirmations are powerful. I’ve been adding these into my daily meditation time. Another one I really love from Catherine Ponder: “I accept prosperity as my divine right”.

5. Minding how I speak about it. Removing any words that reflect a poverty mentality. Our words are so powerful. We create an experience of lack when we continually use words that reflect it. There is no need to say “I can’t afford it”, when saying “I’m not going to buy that right now” or “buying this isn’t a priority for me today” works just as well. 😉 Be careful with your words, they create your experience in the world. When we use words and phrases that reflect a scarcity mentality we create that experience over and over.

How about you? Have you made a conscious decision to prosper this year? To have an amazing soulmate relationship? To create success in your life?

What practical steps have you taken to get your desired outcome?

Love & Magic,

Cindie

Posted in General | 2 Comments

I Want to Feel Safe

holding-hands-1149411_1920

Each year I choose a “theme” for the year and use it all year as my guiding light. Doing this each year has helped me stay on track to create the kind of life experience I want to enjoy. This year when I began to ponder a theme I decided to choose words that expressed how I want to feel. And as I did this I had FIVE words come up! The first word was “Powerful“, the second word was “Magical“, and the next word was “Safe.”

I’m so thankful that I have a wonderful relationship that I feel very safe in, because for years that wasn’t my experience. I know now that it is possible to feel completely safe in a relationship, and I want that for you, too.

This year as I pondered how I’d like to feel I realized I want to feel that same level of safety in all areas of my life, such as in my relationship with money, in my business endeavors, in saying yes to opportunities.

I addressed the idea of feeling safe in my latest gift for you, The Lovely Magician’s Guide to Soulmate Success, and I thought I’d share an excerpt here on the blog.

Safety & Self-love

A few years ago I recognized a trending theme in some of my coaching sessions one week, the desire to feel safe. The common denominators: Each client that communicated this desire was a woman, and all of them were referring to relationships with men.

I believe that one of the most important (if not THE most important) relationship ingredient for a woman is safety. When I speak of safety I speak of physical safety, of course, and also emotionally safety, and sexual safety.

As a relationship coach I hear this desire for safety expressed often, and as a woman I can relate to and understand this need.

One evening I was out riding my bike, and reflecting on my day.

As I was riding and thinking about the common thread throughout these recent coaching sessions I noticed a beautiful college age woman riding her bicycle around the lakes. She was not wearing a helmet.

Cyclists without helmets… something I see too often. My thoughts then turned to the drivers I see that are texting while driving and talking on cell phones while driving, once I even saw someone working on a laptop while driving! All unsafe activities that, unfortunately, people engage in all too frequently.

That is when these two trains of thought collided and merged into another thought; People often live out an identity that is not in alignment with their desire.

In this example, how can I expect to feel “safe” in a relationship if I am consistently putting out a message to the Universe that safety isn’t really one of my primary concerns?

The world around us is a mirror that reflects exactly what is going on inside of us. Our life experience is always directly related to our identity.

When what we say we want isn’t showing up, the clue we’re looking for can first be found within, and it shows up in our outside experience in our relationships with other people and things.

Our outer experience is a mirror of our level of self-love. When we decide to start loving our self fully everything in our outer experience changes for the better, including our relationships, of course.

****

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this excerpt in the comments section! And be sure to get your free copy of The Lovely Magician’s Guide to Soulmate Success!

Love & Magic,

Cindie

Posted in General | Leave a comment

Magic 101: The Waiting Game

This year I decided upon some guiding words to support me in creating the life experience I want in 2016. Every year I choose a “theme” with a word or two to represent it. This year I had FIVE words come up and I just couldn’t part with any of them so I decided to see how it would go if I honored all of them. The first word I chose was “powerful“. The next word in line is the word “magical”.

First I think it’s important for you to know what I mean when I say “magic”. My definition of magic is:

The successful result of any conscious action taken to bring something from the metaphysical realm – (the realm of wishes, dreams, hopes, ideas, plans, brainstorms, etc.) into the material, physical realm (yes, everyday life!) having the hallmark of ease, grace, synchronicity and often an element of surprise and delight.

That’s pretty much sums up what I want to be experiencing on a regular basis. Some people call it the Law of Attraction, I prefer to call it Conscious Creation or Magic.

There is the element of “as above, so below” or “as within, so without”. But that particular aspect is not exclusive to magic, – it is just a fact of life. Our inner world creates our outer world. Our outer experience mirrors our inner experience. Magic is what happens when we begin using this aspect consciously.

One of the things that can trip up aspiring magicians pretty quickly (and sometimes even seasoned magicians!) is becoming discouraged when it seems like nothing is happening in spite of our best magical efforts. I call this the waiting game, and it’s part of the basic progression that is useful to be aware of anytime we attempt to consciously create an experience. If we pay attention to the natural world it will show up over and over. It looks like this:

Three Phases of Conscious Creation

1. It all starts in the realm of the metaphysical…this is the realm of ideas, dreams, brainstorms, wishes, etc. We can draw a parallel to planting seeds in a garden. This is the phase where we come up with intentions around what we want, we get as clear as we can on how we want to feel (we can’t plant carrot seeds and grow cucumbers!), and we start telling a new story. We start expressing gratitude for these things. We get aligned with what we want. Those new stories and thankful messages are like seeds. This is often a very exciting time. This phase is often marked by a feeling of possibility and exuberance. A sort of “anything is possible” feeling as we dream and plan and get lined up with how we want to feel.

2. Then, we begin the second phase – this phase is likened to the process of germination – this is the period of time where it looks like NOTHING is happening. And yet, this is the time when EVERYTHING is happening. There is A LOT going on under the surface even though it seems that everything is the same old, same old. Same old dirt in the garden. Looks like nothing has changed. This is the period of time that most people give up and revert back to telling the same old stories and focusing on the things that aren’t working. Telling the same old stories and focusing on what isn’t working is poison to those seeds by the way. The seeds of intention need to be watered and fertilized with new stories, gratitude, and faith. Just like a gardener who faithfully waters her seeds, KNOWING that soon she’ll be witnessing little green sprouts bursting forth. She does not dig up the dirt again, she doesn’t need to “check on the seeds”. No, she keeps watering and believing and picturing what her full grown garden is going to look like.

3. And finally…sprouts, then buds, then blossoms, then FULL BLOOM Manifestation! The harvest! Most people don’t wait long enough to see this part, which is why most people are living the same patterns over and over even though they have the power to change everything. Most people give up, go back to telling the same old stories of how things are working and stay living in the same garden dirt instead of enjoying the full bloom of manifestation.

Learning to hold the vision is possibly the most powerful thing we can do to shift from an outworn reality to a new and better one.

Most people may have trouble playing the waiting game that is intrinsic in nature, and in magic. I know you are not most people. I know that you can set yourself up for success by being patient, seeing the finished garden in your mind’s eye and learning to hold the vision, refraining from focusing on what isn’t working and telling a new story full of power.

This, is how magic happens. I am creating a magical year this year. I hope you’ll join me.

By the way, if you’d like some support in holding the vision, pop on over to The Love & Magic Salon. You’ll find a beautiful group of Lovely Magicians over there. We’d love to have you join us.

Love & Magic,

Cindie

Posted in General | 2 Comments

How to Develop Personal Power

wonder-woman-1016324_1920

This year I want to feel powerful.

Every year I choose a couple of words to serve as my “theme”. It has been a simple and effective tool to keep me on track. In 2011 I chose “Love & Magic”…that year I met The Handsome Sweetheart and we’ve been making magic together ever since. 🙂

This year as I took some time to choose my theme, I decided to choose words that expressed how I want to feel this year. Instead of a couple of words I had FIVE words pop up for me. They all seemed important, none of them wanted to be left out, so I adopted them all. The first word was “powerful”. And when I talk about feeling powerful, I’m talking about personal power.

I will explain what it is to have personal power, but first – what it isn’t.

Having personal power is NOT having power over others.

It will allow you to have power with others.

Personal power is not attached to anything outside of yourself. It is not a result of having a title, or having wealth, or vibrant health, or being married to someone powerful, or being famous, or earning a degree. Those things might come as a result of personal power, but when you’ve really tapped into your own personal power, losing those things will not diminish it. This power is yours. It comes from within you, not from outside of you.

And it makes you incredibly attractive. If you are wanting to create an amazing life full of wonderful people and opportunities, developing your personal power is the place to begin.

So, here’s a secret to developing your personal power…and it’s actually pretty simple.

Do what you say you’re going to do.

That’s it. That is how you start developing personal power.

Personal power is a result of active integrity. Basically that means that when you say you’re going to do something, you do it. If you say you’ll call, you call. If you say you’ll be to the meeting by 7:00, you’re  there by 7:00.

This not only builds your own personal power, it builds trust.

You can totally begin setting yourself up for success by practicing this one thing.

And if you forget to do something you said you would do…own it. Make it right. It might sound like this: “Hey there, I apologize. I said I would call and I dropped the ball. I totally forgot. I take full responsibility for missing the boat on that one. Let’s try again. When would be a good time to call you this week.” <—(THEN CALL ON TIME.)

Everyone makes a mistake once in a while. Sometimes things come up that are out of our control. We all forget occasionally. We’re human.

Having personal power does not mean you’ll never change your mind, or make a mistake, or forget an appointment. But it does mean that when those things happen, powerful you will be big enough (and vulnerable enough) to correct course quickly.

To be a powerful human we own our mistakes, we make amends, we have integrity, we do what we say we’re going to do.

How would it feel to find your personal power this year?

What other feelings would you like to experience?  Do you have a ritual of choosing a theme or a word for the year? Let me know in the comments below and I may just write a post dealing with some helpful tips for getting there!

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

P.S. If you’d like some help and support creating your reality this year, check out how we can work together. I’d love to support you!

Posted in General | 4 Comments

The Only Jedi Mind Trick You’ll Ever Need

 

Yoda_Empire_Strikes_BackIn case you are one of the three people who has not yet gotten around to seeing the latest Star Wars film, The Force Awakens, no worries. This post does not contain spoilers, just some Yoda wisdom from episode 5.

I have had the Star Wars theme song in my head for a week.

In preparation for the latest Star Wars film the Handsome Sweetheart and I embarked on a Star Wars marathon and binged watched all 6 previous movies. Some of the prequels I think I missed entirely at their debut. (How is that possible?? And I’m not sure if that gives me more or less nerd cred – opinions are mixed.)

However, I saw something that I love in Episode 5, The Empire Strikes back, and that’s what I’m going to bring up here today.

If you have not seen this episode, or if you are not a Star Wars fan (really? “HMMMMM?”, said with Yoda inflection) it won’t really matter. I believe that if you are interested in personal growth, spirituality, magic and becoming a Jedi this is relevant. Relevant to your becoming. Relevant to your ability to consciously create what you desire.

Even if you’ve never seen a Star Wars movie you surely know the characters: Yoda, Luke, Darth Vadar.

In a nutshell: Yoda = The 900 year-old Jedi Master, Luke = the young Jedi in training, Darth Vader = the evil lord who was once a Jedi himself but has turned to the darkside.

There is a scene in episode 5 where Yoda and Luke come upon a hole in the jungle floor on Dagobah. Their conversation goes like this:
Luke: I feel death, cold.
Yoda: That place… is strong with the dark side of the Force. A domain of evil it is. In you must go.
Luke: What’s in there?
Yoda: Only what you take with you.

Luke proceeds to strap on his weapon. Yoda tells him he won’t need his weapons. Luke takes them in anyway and proceeds to battle the evil Darth Vader, ultimately decapitating Vader with his light saber. Luke then removes Darth Vader’s helmet and sees that the face beneath the shield is his own.

This scene holds a valuable message for those of us who are conscious creators. The entire universe is a mirror for us. I’ve talked about The Magic Mirror before, here and here. It’s one of my favorite concepts and I just couldn’t get this amazing example out of my mind. Plus, it seems really timely since we are winding up 2015 and heading into 2016 in just a week.

Yoda tells Luke that the only thing inside that place is whatever he takes with him.

Every day we have opportunities and situations that potentially bring us to a place where we feel fear, or trepidation, or uncomfortable. I’m not even talking about huge life events,  it could be any number of things where we are going to deal with people or things that we would rather just skip out on.

Difficult conversations, potential conflict at work, holiday parties, that meeting you’ve been dreading, you know the thing I’m talking about.

Whatever we get when we walk into that place, is whatever we bring with us.

We can consciously choose to bring love, compassion, understanding.

Luke brought fear, and weapons. He entered that place and saw what he expected to see – an evil enemy armed for battle. He ends up in a huge conflict. He realizes after he has “won” that he was only fighting with himself.

Who would Luke have encountered in that place had he entered without his weapons, and only armed with love, wisdom, curiosity and understanding?

The next time we have an opportunity where we are expecting to encounter conflict and opposition, what would happen if we put down our weapons and fear and decided to see something else?

I imagine a situation where I have to meet with someone who is notorious for being angry, mean, and confrontational. What if instead of “getting ready for battle”, I chose to see something different. What if I decided that I was going to imagine that the person I’m meeting is the most loving, compassionate, generous person on the planet?

“Okay, fine.” you might be thinking,  “And what if I show up bringing love and light and that person still looks angry, mean, and confrontational. What then?”

Here, my friend, is the power of the Jedi; I can choose to not believe what I see.

I can choose to see something different.
I can use my imagination to create something better.

One of my favorite ideas is that our imagination is where we meet the Divine. I learned that from my good friend Kris Oster, and it’s a powerful truth.

Miracles happen when we master the art of believing what is denied by the senses.

Yoda calls it using the Force. Neville calls it prayer. I call it Magic.

Wherever you go today, you only experience what you bring with you. The only mind you need to “trick” is your own. If you can believe when your senses and logic are saying otherwise, you’ve tapped into the divine power of the conscious creator. It takes practice. We all have a myriad of opportunities.

Wherever you’re headed, you will only find over there what you bring with you.

What will you bring into the New Year?

Choose Love, Magic will follow. (<—“Use the Force, Luke.”)

You have the power to create a better reality for yourself.

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

P.S. Would you like some support in 2016 with developing your Jedi skills? I’ve got a couple new offerings for 2016 – take a look.

 

 

 

Image credit: Official Star Wars website: www.starwars.com

Posted in General | 4 Comments

How to Connect with Your Soul

365 Ways to Connect with Your SoulHow would you like to create a stronger connection with your soul?

This month I’m celebrating the release of a new book that I’m honored to have contributed several pieces to – 365 Ways to Connect with Your Soul. This book was a labor of love from a group of wonderful individuals, and we’ve all been thrilled to watch it hold #1 Best Seller status since it’s debut earlier in November.

I’d like to share with you one of my pieces published in this book and encourage you to get yourself a copy so you can enjoy all of the wonderful entries and stay connected to your soul as you move through the coming year!

I’m so thankful to everyone that has supported this project.

And now, for your enjoyment, here is just one way to Connect with Your Soul…

The Magic of Ink on Paper

As a coach, I’ve been known to ask “If you had a magic wand, what would you wish for?” And, like many coaches, I often encourage my clients to write down their goals.

Why is it so important to write these things down? It seems that written goals have a better chance of being realized.

A Dominican University study has quantified this, showing that “Those who wrote their goals accomplished significantly more than those who did not write their goals.” That alone might be enough motivation for most of us to begin writing down our goals, but there is another, more inspirational, reason for me.

I remember blowing out the candles on my birthday cake and making a wish, and I remember wishing on stars. Maybe you remember these rituals too, or maybe you had other wishing rituals while you were growing up.

I believe wishing rituals came easily to me as a child because children are so connected to their souls. Our wishes reflect the deepest, most authentic part of us.

As a child, the magic of wishing was often provided by an adult (possibly wearing a Santa Claus costume), but as an adult I get the thrill of bringing my own magic to bear on my wishes.

That magic begins with two very non-magical items: pen and paper.
When we write down our goals we have already begun to bring them out of the metaphysical realm – the realm of thoughts, ideas, dreams, and wishes – and into the physical realm, real ink on real paper.

The simple act of bringing your soul’s whispered desires from deep within into the physical world as ink on paper is the beginning of magic – and of wishes coming true.

What wish is your soul asking you to write down today?

I’d love to know! Leave me a comment and let me know. 🙂

Love & Magic,

Cindie

Posted in General, Personal Growth | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Q&A: How Do I Let Go?

letting-go-butterfly

Last night was Halloween, and in spite of the fact that The Handsome Sweetheart and I had begun to create our costumes for this year (pirates!!) a year ago…we didn’t foresee the tremendous weather pattern that would be hanging out over our city for the entire day and evening. And I’m just not a big fan of running around in the pouring rain, so we changed plans and stayed in. We shared a lovely bottle of wine and watched the movie Practical Magic. It seemed like the perfect Halloween movie and since I’d never seen it (I know, I know) it was a great choice.

And I loved it. Mostly because it had a happy ending, and also because, well…magic.

And of course…Love, of the true love variety. Love that arrived in spite of Sally’s (Sandra Bullock) desire to prevent it by creating a magic spell to keep true love away. (And I apologize if somehow that’s a plot spoiler for you but I figure I’m the only one on the planet that is coming this late to the party.)

I’m thinking about this movie, and the idea of “true love” and how to attract it, while I’m pondering some questions that came my way recently regarding true love relationships.

How do I “let go” and “let myself off the hook” when I’m trying to attract a relationship?

The original discussion took place over in The Love & Magic Salon, and  concerned not only romantic relationships, but close personal friendships as well.

Like anything we want desperately,  desperation is exactly the thing that holds us at arms length from
our desire. Sally surely wasn’t desperate to have a relationship, in fact she had actively decided she didn’t want one and worked to that end from childhood.

But when we are feeling desperate for a relationship the scenario often goes like this:

We desire a relationship. We start doing what we think we need to do have one. Nothing works. We get
frustrated. We step up our actions and do all the things twice as hard. Nothing works. Frustration doubles. We now have increased our desperation and frustration levels (“OMG everyone else has a relationship!! Even my batshit crazy friend has no problem getting a relationship!! ARRRGGGG!!!…”)

This level of frustration and desperation has now created incredible levels of resistance.

And then, (and I actually received an email from a reader once with this exact question, in all caps)…

WHAT AM DOING WRONG??

If I had to guess, I’d say you aren’t “doing” anything wrong. (So here’s the part where you can let yourself off the hook for the things you are doing). More likely the real issue is not what your doing, but who (and how) you are BEING.

You see, our experience in life is always directly related to our identity. So our actions (what we are doing) are not where the real power is, the creative power stems from who we are being.

This is why when we are being desperate, we automatically create more experiences that cause us to feel desperate over and over. This increases the desperation to a place that is totally unattractive. Literally – a desperate needy person will be repellent, not attractive. And I’m not speaking of physical attraction, but energetic attraction, like a magnet.

I once remember being practically accosted by a sales person who was trying to sell me a handmade hat. I liked the hat. I liked it a lot, but I was still on the fence about buying it. This salesperson was so desperate to make a sale that I completely stopped even thinking about the hat, and just began to plan my escape. I wanted to run, which is the normal human reaction to being chased.

So the question to ask here is WHO are you BEING? Who are you on the inside?

But, don’t answer that just yet. Because first I want to address the issue of letting go – because you are going to have to let go of the desperation in order to be attractive and magnetic.

So how do we let go? I know what you might be thinking – “It sounds so easy but it’s really hard. All I can think about is how badly I want a relationship. I want it BAD. I think about it day and night. I worry that I’ll be single forever and wind up like one of those crazy cat ladies. I’M SO FRUSTRATED!!! This is the thing I want most in my life and now you’re telling me I have to let go of it?”

No, I’m not telling you you have to let go of the desire for a relationship, but I want you to let go of being so attached to the idea of being in a relationship. And there’s a big difference. Because more than likely you’re attached to the fact that you are not in a relationship yet. Dwelling constantly in the “not having” arena in your mind. Attached to the outcome – “I’ve got to make this happen!”

So I’m going to tell you the easiest and fastest way I know of to let go of being attached to your desired outcome (in this case a relationship.)

Acceptance.

Acceptance of “what is” – instead of dwelling on what isn’t.

Here’s where I’m going to suggest that you let yourself go down the rabbit hole a bit into those crazy single forever cat lady fears and ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen?

Then, how would I deal with it?

Then, what might be okay about that? Even, what might be great about that?

And then – let yourself accept “what is” right now. If you’re really up for adventure you may choose to love what is, because ultimately you are in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing. And when you begin to believe it you’ll start to see some amazing things happen in your life.

Now, maybe you’re first reaction is to say, “But I have been accepting it! I’ve been accepting it for way too long!”

If this is the case I’d like to make a distinction between acceptance and tolerance. Tolerance may show up as a begrudging type of endurance. “I’m dealing with it pretty well” is not the same as acceptance.

When you are tolerating something you are always giving away your personal power.

When you accept “what is”, right now, you are standing in your own power. Acceptance is being willing to not have the thing you desire. This in no means puts you in the place of giving up on what you desire. It does mean that you recognize that you can thrive without it.

True personal power is not connected to anything you have, including a relationship. Your true power does not depend on whether you are married, or wealthy, or vibrantly healthy, a great business success, or the owner of that thing you want. True power comes from within you, it is not external, it is not attached to anything external.

This place of not having that thing you want yet is your opportunity to develop your own personal power and begin to recognize that you can thrive regardless of what hasn’t manifested in your experience yet.

This amazing creative power that resides within you is the thing that attracts everything you want into your experience.  Breath deep, take a nap, relax, have some fun, and know that you aren’t doing anything wrong. You are in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing.

Your personal power becomes stronger every time you consciously tap into it, acknowledge it, and walk in active integrity.

Every big shift comes after a big letting go.

Letting go is a choice. Let it be easy.

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

P.S. Have you checked out my 7-Figure Relationship book/workbook? It might be just the thing to help create the relationship you want and to support you in recognizing that amazing relationship when it shows up!

Posted in General | 4 Comments