When was the last time you caught yourself in DEFENSE mode?

You know, defending your choice, your opinion, your actions, your words, etc?

Recently, a friend of mine told me that he found himself almost automatically defending himself at times and he asked me why this was.

There’s a very simple answer to this question. I told him that we defend ourself when we don’t feel safe.

We get defensive when we feel the need to protect ourself.  Which brings me to my questions for you today…

When do you catch yourself in Defense Mode?

Who are you most often with when this happens? (And, why don’t you feel safe with them?)

What is it you are trying to protect?

So often we hear the word “chemistry” applied to romance and romantic connections.  We say that we have great chemistry with someone, (or not!)….and so often we equate the whole concept of “chemistry” with physical, sexual attraction.

Are you aware that there are many facets of chemistry, that are all equally important, and one of them is safety?

Feeling safe with someone is part of good chemistry….and when you feel safe with someone you don’t have to defend yourself.

You can get my FREE audio download here to find out all 7 ingredients of great chemistry!


Love & Magic,



This entry was posted in Chemistry, Communication, General, relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Defensiveness

  1. Amy says:

    Meditation helps me feel safe at the time. I am learning to take that safe feeling with me and call on it during the day.

    • admin says:

      Thanks for your comment, Amy. Meditation is indeed a valuable tool for developing our own inner knowing and for letting go of fears. It also can enable us to really “listen” to our inner voice, which can warn us when there is a reason to feel unsafe.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *