Do You Have What You Need?

wants_needs

Have you ever had one of those days or weeks when you ran out of just about everything all at once?  The never-ending-grocery-store-list kind of day?

How about a time when it felt like everything needed fixing or replacing at once?  Sometimes big things – the car breaks down or needs new tires, a major appliance decides to quit working, your computer crashed and now your cell phone won’t turn on. Sheesh.

I think we’ve all had these types of experiences. “When it rains, it pours!” So the saying goes.

A few weeks ago I had a similar realization on a smaller scale, but it had a huge impact on me.

My bathrobe tore at the top seam as I hung it up.  The day before I had been folding laundry and recognized that I really needed to replace some most of the things I was folding.  And then that got me to thinking about a few other things that needed fixing or replacing, some of them much bigger than a torn bathrobe. Then I felt myself creating a long list of things that I “needed” to take care of… and suddenly…aha moment.

I realized that at least 6 months ago I saw a bathrobe that I really loved, but I didn’t buy it because I didn’t really “need” it…and that thought led to a deep dive into my experience of “wants vs. needs”.

As a young child growing up my sister and I were raised by a single mom. As an adult I now recognize how hard Mom worked to make ends meet.  We always had what we needed, but not always the extra things that weren’t necessities. I’m sure that was the beginning of my thinking that it was okay to have something if I “needed” it, but otherwise, I didn’t really feel okay about asking for it.  Asking for something that I didn’t need would have caused my mother more stress, and as an eager to please six-year-old, I did not want to cause my poor mom any more stress.

How many times have you wanted something and then told yourself or someone else that you don’t really need it? Or maybe you decided it was okay to ask for it for your birthday or some other special occasion, but not today, not just on an ordinary day.  How many times have you felt guilty for wanting something (or buying something) because it wasn’t a necessity?   And yet, who in the world wants to live a life where all they ever have is the bare necessities?  I certainly don’t. And I certainly didn’t want my children to just barely have their needs met either!

I’m thankful that I am not living in that place now, of only having the bare necessities – but the realization that a belief from when I was a child is still impacting me and my choices even in a small way packed a big punch.

So, (once again!), I’ve discovered an INNER belief system that has had a big impact on my OUTER experience.

The question that I asked myself was this: If I can only have what I NEED, what outer conditions will I create to get it?  The answer was NEEDINESS. As in, now that my bathrobe is ripping at the seams I can replace it and feel okay about it.  Blech.  (Let that sink in.)

Now, I am not advising you to just get totally splurgy on yourself by mindlessly going on a wild spending spree to buy everything you’ve ever wanted while forgetting that you have a budget or a financial goal to save money or anything like that…and I’m not going to do that either.   Because this whole experience is not really about money.  It is MUCH deeper than that.

In fact, this whole idea doesn’t even have to do with spending at all.  Maybe you don’t feel like you “need” a relationship, or a community, or a vacation, or a new widget.  So, No, I am not encouraging you to spend more than you have.

If your hidden belief says it is wrong to want something (say, because you really don’t *need* it and it would upset mom to ask for it) then that belief has become a limiting belief and you MUST become aware of it to change it. The beliefs that served you well as a child may not be the beliefs that will serve you best today.

Beliefs are something we can change.  Our beliefs create our thoughts, our thoughts create our stories, our stories create our experience.

What beliefs will you choose today?

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This entry was posted in General. Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Do You Have What You Need?

  1. Julie Barnes says:

    Beautiful post Cindie! Thank you for sharing! I’m finding with me… it’s a time factor. I’m busy with so many things that I’ll tell myself… I don’t have time to go shopping or whatever it is I want to do at the moment… followed by… I really don’t need that anyway. When I notice I start to do that too much… then I know it’s time to schedule some “me” time and get out of the office for a while.

    Keep Shining!
    Julie 🙂

    • Cindie says:

      Hi Julie, A very good point you make about the “not enough time” perspective. I usually remind myself that if I have someone in my life that I never have enough time for then they certainly must not be a priority to me, so…when it is ME that I don’t have time for something needs to shift!! 🙂 Glad you liked the article, I appreciate your thoughtful comments here. 🙂 xo

  2. Beautiful post Cindie, there is so much freedom in knowing that the desire is there in the first place because the means to fulfill it exist but we are so conditioned to push it away. Being aware of our feminine receiving nature allows us to lean back and be in receiving mode, something we aren’t used to in our busy Western lives. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    • Cindie says:

      Hi Lisa, Glad that you mentioned the feminine receiving nature – spot on! 🙂 Thank you for reading and commenting, I appreciate your contribution! 🙂 xo

  3. Caroline says:

    Was really touched by your post Cindie….it has hit a spot and highlighted some limiting beliefs I have also, your point about it not being just about financial needs, I realise I am denying myself in many areas because I am saying i don’t ‘need’ it. Off to do some gentle delving inside, thank you so much Cindie <3

    • Cindie says:

      Hi Caroline, Thank you! I’m happy to hear that you were touched by this post and I wish you much success in your gentle delving. 😉 xo

  4. Hi Cindy,
    Great article, love your writing.
    Yeah it’s a very fine line between what we need or want. Sometimes we live in such comfort we always have what we need physically but greatly forget what our soul + heart actually needs and sometimes it’s not stuff on the outside, the comfort or the car. It’s much simpler than all of that but harder to pinpoint when it looks like on the outside everything is there, so why aren’t we happy? 😉 Thanks for the great article. I shared your quote on my tweeter account. hugs from the academy.

    • Cindie says:

      Hi Danielle, So true! Paying attention to what our inner world wants/needs is very important exercise. We live in such a busy world and sometimes it is so easy to ignore that small inner voice. Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate you! xo 🙂

  5. Cassandra says:

    Hi Cindie! I’m working with and discovering so many of my limiting/childhood beliefs this year and it seems like ever since I moved to a different country that more of these beliefs are being challenged. One in particular is opposite from the one you write about here and it’s that whatever I want I replace with the word “need,” which becomes a problem when I think I need everything I want and can’t be happy without it.

    In fact, I remember going to the store with my mom as a kid and pointing out stuff I wanted and saying, “But I need it!” And I’m still doing that!

    It’s an incredible realization and one that I’m working on changing. Anywho, great post, lady!

    • Cindie says:

      Hi Cassandra, When we have a realization (like the one you shared!) we are often on the precipice of a HUGE shift! 🙂 Stay with it, be curious! Thank you for sharing your honest experience and commenting here, I appreciate that so much. xo 🙂

  6. Leanne says:

    Great point Cindie – I recognise this in myself. I was on my own in the world from a young age and I knew there was no safety net, so I became very tight with my money. I’m still a bit like that even though I don’t need to be, and if I looked in my wardrobe I would probably notice the same thing – most of it needs updating! Great to be made aware of these old beliefs that are no longer relevant or serving us well.

    • Cindie says:

      Thank you, Leanne – I’m glad you enjoyed the post, and I’m glad to know that sharing this helped others recognize old beliefs that are no longer serving them well. More than a few of us are ready to go shopping now, I see. LOL. I appreciate your comments and thank you for sharing too. 🙂 xo

  7. Billie says:

    This is a juicy subject! I find that I have a really hard time spending money on myself. I think it stems from finally becoming debt free after years of debt over my head. Right now I’m trying to save as much as possible so I can fulfill a dream of being self employed, but I already know that once I come into some money I’m getting some new clothes! 🙂 Thanks for a great post!

    • Cindie says:

      Thanks, Billie, I appreciate your thoughtful comments and I’m glad to know that this post was juicy for you. And I love that you’ve made an intention to treat yourself to a new wardrobe. 🙂 very nice!! xoxo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *