How to Make a Difficult Decision

lanterns in snow“Take the lighted path, no matter how dimly lit.” ~Simran Singh

Making a tough decision. That proverbial fork in the road. I know it would be easier to shake that magic 8-ball, but we all know that making certain decisions isn’t always that easy. I want to give you some tips, pointers, encouragement and support because you may be right smack in the midst of tough decision time and I know how important it is to find clarity and feel confident about your decision.

Ten Things to Consider when Making a Difficult Decision

1. You don’t have to see the entire path yet…just the part where the fork in the road is. Like driving your car at night, you generally can’t see much further than your headlights, and somehow that is enough. Bring yourself into the present moment, and make the decision here and now. No one knows the future, and all of your power is in the present moment. What does it feel like right now to decide one way or the other? What do you feel when you consider each possible decision. Your feelings are a miracle! Pay attention to them.

2. Instead of telling yourself that you “should” do this (or that), ask yourself what you want to do. There are no shoulds.

3. All possible actions have only one of two driving forces…Fear or Love. What is driving your decision? Fear based decisions are generally not the best choices. Choose love. β™₯

4. Check your boundaries…if you are tolerating something chances are your boundaries are weak in this area. What choice would you make if your boundaries were stronger?

5. Get some rest. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. Generally speaking tortured individuals make choices they might regret later. Make your decision after a good night of rest. If possible, take this a step further with a short meditation prior to your decision making moment.

6. REMEMBER: There are no mistakes. What would you choose if you truly believed that you couldn’t make a wrong choice?

7. When you step back and observe (rather than judging), what do you know for sure about the situation?

8. Success often depends on taking imperfect action. Allow yourself to make a less than “perfect” decision. Perfectionism is not about wanting things to be perfect, it is about wanting to feel safe.

9. Chances are if you are trying to make a tough decision there may be a lot of people giving you advice. What advice would you give if someone you loved dearly was making this decision? I once coached a woman who was in an abusive relationship and trying to decide whether to stay or go. I asked her what advice she would give her daughter if her daughter was being abused. Her answers were very different from what she had previously come up with for herself.

10. Let others know what you want, and whatever it is that you want, put it out there for someone else too. If you want love, give love. If you want kindness, be kind. If you need space, allow others to have space. What is it that you really want in this decision? Find an opportunity to give that same thing to someone else, even in a small way.

My wish is that these ideas will help shed some light on your path, and that you will always choose the lighted path, no matter how dim. πŸ™‚

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

 

Image courtesy of papaija2008 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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39 Responses to How to Make a Difficult Decision

  1. terri beaucoudray says:

    I think this is the most powerful article you have ever written. You are awesome, amazing and extremely wise.

  2. Bea says:

    Thanks Cindie, I needed that.

  3. Cassandra says:

    I love #3, and it works for small decisions too. Actually, I had an experience today that required me to choose love (self-love) over fear. It worked out quite nicely and I wrote about it on the blog!

    • Cindie says:

      Cassandra, Yay! I love synchronicities like this! I’m so glad you took the plunge and chose Love over fear πŸ˜‰ xo

  4. Carolyn says:

    Good article. I’ve found more and more when I make decisions from what really “feels right” that I’m happier and fully supported by what shows up.

    • Cindie says:

      Carolyn, that’s my experience as well, things ” feel right” because they are! πŸ™‚ thanks for reading! xo

  5. Justine says:

    Thank you, Cindie. You’re a gift.

    • Cindie says:

      Thank you, Justine. I so appreciate your kind words. Seeing your comment this morning was a beautiful gift for me. πŸ™‚ xo

  6. Jaimee says:

    Very helpful and very wise. Thank you!!

  7. Jodi Chapman says:

    This is really beautifully written and so insightful. Thank you so much for sharing it! There comes a point in all of our lives when we’re faced with making a difficult decision and this is such a great framework to help us doing it with ease and grace.
    Hugs!

    • Cindie says:

      Thank you, Jodi, for your kind words, I’m happy to hear this will help make those tough decision times a bit easier and more graceful. That’s lovely! xo

  8. Shana says:

    Beautiful Cindie! I am in the midst of a big decision and the two that resonated the most for me were doing what I want instead of what I should and allowing myself to take imperfect action. I am a recovering people pleasing perfectionist, so those two rang loud and true for me!

    • Cindie says:

      Thank you, Shana! Imperfect action was a big aha for me! Still have to remind myself at times to just do it already! Glad to hear this helped, best wishes on your big decision. I know you’ll make the perfect choice πŸ˜‰ xo

  9. Tanja says:

    Brilliant article, Cindie – I really enjoyed it and will be sharing it with my Twitter tribe, thank you!

    I tend to make my decisions logically if I can, although occasionally, I notice that my gut has already made a decision long before my brain has started to sift through the facts. When that happens, I try to just go with it.

    If I really have no idea what to do, sometimes I’ll try the flipping a coin method. It’s not that I think the coin has any magic powers. But sometimes, if random chance comes out in favour of whatever would be the wrong thing for me, I’ll suddenly realise that in the moment the coin lands.

    Blessings

    TANJA

    • Cindie says:

      Thank you, Tanja! I’m happy you enjoyed this post and thrilled to know you shared it! Loved your take on the coin flip, indeed it is interesting to observe our reaction to “chance” when at first we think we don’t have a preference πŸ˜‰ I appreciate your wisdom. πŸ™‚ xo

  10. Rachel says:

    Great tips Cindie!

    I know we all face big decisions in life, and sometimes it’s even the small ones that we need to take the time to choose wisely!

    Thanks for sharing your wisdom!
    Rachel X

    • Cindie says:

      Thank you, Rachel, and yes once we get into the habit of accessing our own higher wisdom it becomes so much easier, in all decisions – large or small! xo

  11. Thank you Cindie, I needed to read this post! I am struggling with a big decision, and reading your post has given me more to think about. ‘Choose love over fear’ resonated with me as well as doing what I want.
    Julie

    • Cindie says:

      Oh Julie! Thank you for letting me know this was helpful to you right now. I know you will make the best choice and I send you wishes for the optimal outcome in your decision! xo

  12. Alison says:

    Love this Cindie, thank you. I don’t like ‘should’ either πŸ™‚

  13. Isis says:

    This was beautifully written. Wonderful words of wisdom and advice. Thank you for this gift.

  14. Billie says:

    Brilliant article! Lots of great tips! I especially love the question-is your decision based on fear or love! When I have a decision to make I like to get quiet and see what my instincts tell me and go from there. If there’s a really touch decision, sometimes the best thing to do is just pick one and if it doesn’t work out pick another. Thanks so much!

    • Cindie says:

      Thanks, Billie… I’m glad you enjoyed it. πŸ™‚ you’re so right, getting quiet is so important, and not always easy – we live in a busy, noisy world!! Thank you for your sweet comments. xo

  15. Sarah says:

    This is all so true…what would I do if there was NO wrong decision…takes a lot of the “Argh” out it, doesn’t it?

  16. Ashley Rae says:

    This is just a fantastic post. Shared!

  17. Nicola says:

    Cindie, great advice. It really resonates with me. I had to make a difficult decision a couple of months ago – applying your principles confirms it was the right one! Thank you.

    • Cindie says:

      Hi Nicola, thank you for reading and for your comments. Isn’t it great to know you made the best choice!! Glad to know my post helped confirm that for you. πŸ™‚ xo

  18. ShΓ’n says:

    Cindie,
    This is the first time I’ve visited your blog and I just love this post. I liked your tips on how to make difficult decisions, but in particular, I liked your writing about how to ensure you’re making your decision while engaging in self-care such as getting a good night’s sleep and ensuring your boundaries are in place. Powerful and sensible stuff that we often forget.

    • Cindie says:

      Thank you, ShΓ’n! I’m glad you stopped by and happy to hear you found this post valuable today. πŸ™‚ xo

  19. Beautiful, helpful, worthwhile post. Thank you!

  20. Pingback: You are a Blessing | Cindie Chavez

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