This morning I got an email from someone asking for help with love and the “law of attraction”.
She wanted to know why this law worked for her in every area except love. This is probably the third or fourth letter like this I’ve received in the past week. Letters from readers telling me that the law of attraction, or conscious creation, “works” great for them in all other areas of life – every area but one: Love.
They tell me that they’ve used LOA to get great results in their lives. They’re confidently using the law of attraction to create more money, great living spaces, wonderful career opportunities, a great social life full of fun events with wonderful friends. But…their love life isn’t that great. They’ve tried everything, but “it” isn’t working.
These emails have come to me from diverse people in diverse places. Different countries. Differing cultures. But there is one common denominator in all of these recent queries. They all want to use law of attraction to attract a specific person.
And here’s my reaction every time I read a similar email: Uh Oh.
Why do I have that reaction? Because even though I’m an expert in relationship and a powerful magician, I’m never going to work magic to attract someone who is not interested.
My friend Jeannette Maw (THE law of attraction coach) calls this “The Voodoo I Don’t Do“, and I’m completely with her on this point – I don’t recommend using LOA (or any other method!) to try and attract a specific person when that specific person isn’t interested. And for every single one of these emails that is the case – someone trying to attract a person who is obviously not interested in them.
I’m going to tell you a personal (and vulnerable) story. Years ago I was married to a man that told me he wanted a divorce. Just like that. After many years of marriage suddenly my marriage was over. I had worked SO hard trying to be the best wife on the planet, and still – he just wasn’t interested anymore. I was heartbroken, and my pride was hurt. This was painful and I was determined to turn things around. I tried to discover what could change this dynamic. I asked myself a lot of questions.
What could I do differently? How did I attract this situation? How could I change his mind? How could I get him to fall in love with me again? And all the while he was making it perfectly clear that he didn’t want to be married. He didn’t want me. He wasn’t interested.
And suddenly, after many days and weeks and months of struggling about this, I had a moment of clarity.
I asked myself a very powerful question, a question that changed my life:
Why in the world do you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?
And with that one question I was free.
Why did that one question have such a powerful effect on me? Because I knew in that moment that the person I wanted to be with was someone who was wildly in love with me and wanted me without question. Someone who loved me and wanted to shout it from the mountain tops. Someone who I’d never have to persuade or use magic on to attract.
Going through a divorce was still painful, but this revelation lessened the pain considerably. It also was the beginning of a long path of discovery, and not just self-discovery, but discovery of the ingredients that make a great relationship.
I won’t go into detail about those ingredients here, but I will say that when you’re in a great relationship you know it. You don’t wonder if it could be better, and you certainly don’t spend time wishing it were. Good relationships become great relationships because the right ingredients are present and both parties contribute consciously to make them better and better.
Are you’re feeling attached to the idea of being with a specific person that just isn’t that into you? Try asking your self the question that changed my life. Ask with curiosity, and not judgment. Ask expecting to hear an answer. Get quiet, spend some time having a heart to heart conversation with yourself. You might be surprised at what you hear. I guarantee there is wisdom there yet to be uncovered.
And if you’re feeling ready to attract a relationship that feels like a million bucks, that shines like the sun, that makes your heart sing…
Join me for the next round of MOONLIGHT – A Course in Manifesting Love. Registration is open for just a few more days.
Love & Magic,
P.S. Here’s what one participant had to say about MOONLIGHT:
“The MOONLIGHT course was nicely structured. I loved the ritual, because it felt like real magic! I thought it was really cool to be able to share thoughts and ask questions in the Facebook group, it was a great support. I know for sure now that attracting men is easy. It’s been such a pleasure interacting with you, you are so generous and helpful.”
~ Sonia F., France