What Women Want…

Most adorable crawfish photo everThis week I spoke to a beautiful young woman who was in the midst of a navigating a painful breakup.  She mentioned a few things that had been going on lately in her relationship and she added that she just wasn’t “feeling it” for him anymore.

Unfortunately this is such a common occurrence, the excitement and passion experienced early in a relationship sometimes just fizzles out.  Where does it go?

In speaking to her I mentioned that generally, (and of course I am speaking from a woman’s perspective, from one woman to another), women feel “turned on” when they feel “treasured, cherished, prized, highly valued.”  She replied to me that she doesn’t remember ever feeling that way in this particular relationship.

So, my question in turn is this, How do you know? What is actually happening in a relationship when you feel valued?  Treasured, even?  How aware are you of the actual specific things taking place when you feel prized?

Last night My Sweetheart and I attended a birthday party Crawfish Boil.  For those of you who have never eaten a crawfish (perhaps many of you, especially those of you who do not live in the deep Southern part of the United States, particularly Louisiana), eating crawfish at a traditional crawfish boil is can be a lot of work.

Each crawfish must be peeled, and generally each eater peels his own and eats them one by one.  The shells are hard and it takes a bit of technique and fingerwork to get them open.  It is hell on a manicure.

Hence, my non-participation…in the peeling part.  And lucky for me, My Sweetheart is totally willing to peel them for me.  (Keep in mind that most of the people who EVER get a crawfish peeled for them are going to be 2 years old, and even then it might not happen.)

So, last night someone asked me yelled to me from another picnic table (we had about 50 people partaking)..”Cindie, do you eat crawfish?”.  I’m guessing that question was posed because I’m not “from here”, being a California native.

I answered, “Yes, I eat them, I just don’t peel them.”  This was met with several responses all at once.  Most of which were comments to their frantically peeling neighbors.

Men at a table near us: “Pfffft, doesn’t peel.  HAHAHAHAHA Well you’d go hungry in my house.” (Yep!)

Women at our table: “OMG Seriously.  Wow, okay, I’m seriously impressed that you have a man that will peel those for you.”

Men at our table (husbands of the women at our table):  “Ha! Good thing you can peel your own, Honey, because I’m not peeling them for you, uh uh, no way.”

Of course, being a relationship coach and someone who LOVES observing male/female interaction, I was loving every moment.

And of course, who KNOWS what was said in a whisper so that I couldn’t hear. 😉

Am I able to peel a crawfish.  Of course.  Do I like them enough to ruin a manicure? Meh.

Do I get extreme joy from being taken care of, coddled, pampered, and tended to by My Sweetheart?  A resounding YES!!!

And, My Sweetheart loves showing me affection this way too.  He is a giver, and I have learned how to receive.  Does he worry that other men will think I have him wrapped around my finger, uh, no I don’t think so. (Note: My Sweetheart says: “I love being pampered as well”)

Do I worry that other women will think I’m setting back feminism, disempowering myself or being some kind of prima donna?  No.

And by the way, when we are together I never open my own car door.  And…of course I can open a door.

I’m not saying that what works for me will work for you.  I am saying that I know what feels good to me, what turns me on, what keeps me interested, and I pay attention to what is going on when I feel cherished, treasured, prized.

Do you know what is really working for you in your relationships?

When you pay attention to your feelings and to what is actually happening when you are feeling really great, you’ll have a nice guidepost on the way to creating even more opportunities to feel wonderful.

Love & Magic,

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Thanks to Cait for allowing me to use her photo of really the most adorable crawfish ever.  Cait takes beautiful photos of couples in love, too (not just crawfish)…you can find her here.

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The Power of the Naked Truth

When was the last time you felt angry? …jealous? …disappointed?

I ask because those are some of the feelings that we all dislike, and many times we don’t even like to even admit (to ourselves) that we are experiencing such uncomfortable feelings, let alone communicate them to those involved.

This week I felt very disappointed.  I received an email asking me what I thought about the final product of a project to which I had contributed.  I really struggled with the reply.  I believed that my contribution was high quality, but felt that the final product was not.  I honestly didn’t know how to reply.  I started to just reply that, “yes I saw the final product and it looked great!”…But that wasn’t the truth.  I was very disappointed with the final product, as well as with the whole experience.

My Sweetheart and I were discussing it and he asked me, “Why don’t you just say that?  Say that you are disappointed?”

My entire life and practice revolves around authenticity, emotions, feelings…vulnerability, and yet I struggled with the idea of just saying it.  Why? Because sometimes it just seems like it would be easier to “be nice”.  But in the long run it isn’t.  Because it isn’t real.

This week I’ve had clients come to me that were angry, jealous, disappointed, hurt, and even though they readily admitted those emotions to me, they all had misgivings about communicating them to others.

I understand! It was a struggle for me to choose being open about my feelings instead of just glossing it over.

It is not always easy to be vulnerable.  And the truth is, when we are open, honest, vulnerable, is when we are the most powerful.

I read an article once that mentioned how Celtic Warriors would go into battle naked as a strategic advantage against their opponents, and although I don’t recommend throwing off your clothes at the first sign of being upset (although who knows, in certain instances it might be a worthwhile strategy <wink>), the “nakedness” of being open about your feelings is extremely powerful.

I did send the reply.  I was open about how I felt.  I was objective about how my expectations were not met, I did not point fingers or blame anyone for my experience, I was honest and said I was truly disappointed.  I related that it was an important learning opportunity for me and that I was grateful for that part.

The disappointing short response that I received to my reply didn’t matter.  I felt relieved, I felt authentic, I felt empowered, and I felt every bit of resistance attached to the conversation melt away because I told the truth about my own experience.

Learning how to identify your feelings and emotions, and to communicate them authentically is one of the keys to creating more Love & Magic in your life.

You are a powerful being and your feelings are a miracle.  Acknowledge them, embrace them, trust them.

Love & Magic,

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P.S. I’m giving a FREE Teleclass next week to give you some more powerful tips so that you can begin experiencing more Love & Magic in your life right away.  Register here for the call!

 

 

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Small Steps, Strong Intentions

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What is it that you really want right now?

That thing that you think about all the time…or maybe sometimes it feels like the thing that is thinking you.

That strong desire that follows you everywhere and is always ready to hop onto your train of thought.

One of the things that I truly believe is best expressed by the phrase, “What you want, wants you, too.”

I believe that the desires that we have (often since childhood) are drawing us to them, almost as if there were a rope attached to us at one end, and our desires at the other…tugging at us, pulling at us, longing for us.

And so often we let those thoughts, those desires, just sort of simmer in the background while we go on about our business doing what “needs to be done” today.

Have you ever seen a small child tugging on her mother’s skirt?  “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy…”  All the child wants is some attention, and often our desires are like that.  Sometimes we ignore them, instead of paying attention and acknowledging them, and then taking a small action to let them know we hear them.

There are a multitude of valid excuses available for why we aren’t making our dreams a reality. We don’t have enough time, we don’t have enough money, we don’t know how, we fear we may fail…on and on the list goes.

And here is one thing that is certain…change requires action, not contemplation.

The important thing is to take a step, with intention. The step can be small. Shift something, change one small thing, take some action no matter how imperfect (in fact imperfect action is probably the big key to your success here).

Let your intention be big, take an action however small, let the Universe figure out how.

Relax, breathe, remember…what you want, wants you too.

Love & Magic,

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Your Own Personal Treasure Map

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In last week’s post I shared a little about how my broken heart held a huge treasure for me.

All those feelings. They are so hard to experience sometimes. Hurt, anger, frustration, depression, anxiety, sadness, confusion, hopelessness…pain. Painful.

And those are exactly the feelings that we sometimes push down, ignore, make light of, excuse, and even lie about (“I’m fine.”)

Sometimes we even feel guilty about experiencing those feelings, as if we are supposed to go through life never having an uncomfortable feeling. Like some kind of automaton that always has the “right” (sweet) response, the “right” (nice) reaction, the perfect answer for every question.

And that is NOT the way we are wired. Your feelings are a miracle.  ALL of them.

I may begin to sound a bit like a broken record, repeating this over and over, and that’s okay, maybe it can be a mantra of sorts. “My feelings are a miracle. My feelings are a miracle. My feelings are a miracle.”  A MIRACLE!!

Why? Because your feelings are guiding you to your own slice of heaven. Your own sense of divinity. Your own personal connection with The Universe, G-d, Your higher self, Your wiser self.

Your feelings are your road map to your highest life experience.  Your great work.  Your best relationships.  Your soulmate.  Your biggest and most excellent creative expressions. Your key to experiencing love & magic, on a daily basis.

Have you ever found yourself driving somewhere and feeling a little uncertain of how to get there, and yet didn’t want to take the time to open the map, or ask for directions? Too much of a hassle. And what if the map is not correct, what if the person I ask doesn’t know the way and then I’ve wasted time. Excuses, excuses.

And yet… we make the same error when we don’t allow ourselves to feel, or we don’t trust our feelings, or we decide that our feelings are not valid. Maybe you don’t want to come off as a drama queen. Or behave childishly. After all, you want to act like a grown up. I get it. And I’m not going to give you a pass for an inappropriate display of emotion. <grin>

I am telling you that your feelings are valid. They are necessary. They are useful. They’re a miracle.

I want to challenge you today to recognize what you are feeling. Start small, just get a sense of how something (anything!) affects you in your body, and in your heart.

Getting in touch with your feelings, recognizing them, cherishing them, and learning how to express them appropriately is the most important way you can be true to yourself. And when you are true to yourself first everything gets better. It takes courage, a bit of bravery, and the right tools and support help, too.

Are you ready to be true to yourself?

Are you ready to get the support you want?

Are you ready to learn tools that will make trusting yourself and living with your heart open much easier?

If you’re ready to find the map to your own personal sweet spot of life…check this out.

Until soon…

Love & Magic,

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Your Deepest Wounds

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“There are 2 great days in a person’s life – the day we are born and the day we discover why.” -William Barclay

Nearly 10 years ago my marriage began to completely fall apart…and I was someone who wanted a happy marriage and family more than anything else. Having it fall apart was extremely painful. I felt hopeless. I honestly felt like I would never recover, the pain was so deep. And when I think about the deep wounds I’ve experienced in my life (not just my divorce) the experiences that come up for me have to do with verbal and emotional abuse, loss of self-esteem, inability to communicate effectively with someone I loved, and a lot of fear around being alone.

I realize now that those experiences all hold a very valuable gift for me, they are like treasure now because through them I discovered, or even developed you might say, my purpose. Those painful experiences, combined with the things I am naturally passionate about (such as beauty in the world, music, art, nature, etc.) allow me to demonstrate my purpose in everything I do. My purpose is more than just what I do professionally, it is who I am at my core, and I experience it through all of my senses. I could say that I see, feel, hear and know that the purpose of my life is to be authentic, beautiful, intuitive, powerful and wise, to enjoy beauty and the world around me, and to love, teach and empower others to communicate masterfully, love deeply, create consciously, and enjoy life fully.

And I know that I am able to fulfill my purpose no matter what occupation I choose, or what activity I engage in, because it is who I am.

You may have read my book Healing a Broken Heart (and if you haven’t – get a copy here, it’s free!)

If you have read it, I’m guessing that you were interested in it because you have experienced some heartbreak yourself. I’m doubtful that any of us can live a long full life without experiencing heartbreak. And unfortunately, heartbreak is painful.

Heartbreak is not limited to romantic situations, either. Any serious loss can result in a broken heart; the loss of a loved one, the loss of a position, the loss of a pet, the loss of dignity. I’m sure you could add a few of your own ideas and experiences to the list.

Having our hearts broken can leave us feeling weak, ashamed, broken, powerless, and without hope.

I’d like to give you a ray of hope (maybe a whole room full of sunshine) where your broken heartedness is concerned. And it is in this one idea: Your deepest wound is directly connected to your life purpose.

Your deepest wound is directly connected to your life purpose.

Having your heart broken feels terrible, and your feelings are a miracle.

In fact, the woundedness you feel in any given situation can be a big key to your purpose in that moment.

Your purpose is much more about “how” you are “being” than “what” you are “doing”. When you are being the person you were born to be, the power of that is evident in everything you are doing.

Alice Mary Hilton said, “A person’s worth is contingent upon who he is, not upon what he does, or how much he has. The worth of a person, or a thing, or an idea, is in being, not in doing, not in having.”

I was speaking today to a young man who is feeling some of the bumps and bruises of a new leadership position. Being a leader isn’t always comfortable. Conflicts arise and power struggles ensue, the result, he related to me is sometimes a “knot in his stomach”. He is a powerful and humble leader, a real master at communicating powerfully, and someone who is hugely intuitive. His painful past experiences have been a very real part of his leadership development. I believe that his life purpose is to be humble, skillful, a masterful peacekeeper and leader and honestly it won’t matter as much what official position he holds, he will always display powerful leadership and mentoring abilities because it is who he is at his core.

When we are able to fulfill our purpose we experience a powerful synergy between who we are and the world around us and we naturally create a life affirming impact on others as well as ourselves.

How are you able to connect your experiences (even the painful ones, especially the painful ones) to your purpose?

Love & Magic,

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Posted in Conscious Communication, Conscious Creation, General, Life balance, Life Purpose, Personal Growth, relationships | 3 Comments

You Determine Your Value

peacockHow do you value yourself?

(Notice that I’m not asking how MUCH value you place on yourself.)

I’m asking, “How?”

What actions do you take to show that you value yourself?

Do you ever put yourself first? Or do you always put yourself last?

Do you take care of yourself with the same love, tenderness, and persistence that you expend when taking care of others?

Do you treat yourself with respect, kindness, patience?

OR…

Do you often neglect your most basic needs (skipping meals, not getting enough sleep, not drinking enough water, shallow breathing)?

Maybe you speak in self deprecating ways (“I’m such an idiot!”)

Or you defer to everyone else’s choices: “What movie do you want to see, Cindie?”…”Oh I don’t care, let’s see whatever you want!!”  I can’t count the number of times I’ve answered a similar question like that.  For years I was so concerned with “being nice” that I ended up being a total doormat.  I pretty much always deferred to everyone about everything,  and in the process I lost nearly every shred of whatever self-esteem I had.

Do you always keep quiet instead of speaking up for yourself?

And what about the value you put on your time, your energy, your body, your mind…

Do you give these things away too frequently, too easily?

Often we undervalue ourselves out of habit, using a sort of false humility as an excuse. We don’t want to appear too proud, or selfish, or bossy, or over bearing, or [fill in the blank with your choice of undesirable personality trait].

Sometimes we undervalue ourselves because we want to be seen as nice, sweet, compassionate, loving, giving, generous, or [fill in the blank with your choice of wonderful quality here].

Sometimes with all good intention our perspective gets off balance.  We’ve all heard the expression “proud as a peacock”, but we forget that the peacock is also prized as a symbol of love, compassion, beauty, royalty, and dignity.  It’s a matter of perspective.

And even though we often undervalue ourselves with the best intentions, most of the time we experience feelings that are uncomfortable as a result.

The truth is: we determine our own value and we demonstrate it by our actions.

I challenge you to take one small action today that shows that you value yourself. Ask for what you want. Take some time for yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat someone super important, someone royal, someone due respect.

When you begin to place a higher value on yourself (again, by taking action…not just as an idea), your experience of the world around you will reflect this. You’ll feel better, experience more love, less stress, and recognize more opportunities for love, abundance, and success.

Love & Magic,

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Image courtesy of Matt Banks / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

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This is Why You Feel Uncomfortable…

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Are you experiencing some “uncomfortable” emotions?

Anxiety, anger, sadness, frustration, are some that come to mind. There is also that icky “unnameable” emotion, the one where you just feel BAD.

Maybe you can’t really put your finger on WHAT to call it, but you know you don’t like it.

No matter what emotion you are feeling, if you can put it into the “uncomfortable” or “I-really-don’t-like-this-feeling” category, I want to give you some ideas that may be helpful.

Here is the thing I want you to take away from this post: Your feelings are a miracle.

However you want to label them…good, bad, ugly…all of them. Miraculous. And they exist to help you.

The basic idea is that when you are feeling something that feels good to you (comfortable feelings…happy, peaceful, fulfilled, joyous, creative, exuberant, energized, satisfied, warm & fuzzy etc.) you are experiencing your needs being met.

And when you are feeling uncomfortable emotions it is generally because there is some need you have that is NOT being met.

And we all have LOTS of needs…from the basic human needs like air, water, food, sleep, sex, shelter…to needs like community, connection, the need to be seen and heard (Facebook is popular for a reason!!), appreciation, celebration, privacy, beauty, honesty, and love (to name just a few!)

Where in your life are you feeling less than comfortable?

What is the unmet need causing this discomfort?

How can you get that need met?

Once you can identify what need you have and then develop a plan of action to get that need met, your uncomfortable feeling will be history.

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

 

 

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Love is a Verb

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“How do I love thee, let me count the ways.” Wrote Elizabeth Barrett Browning in her famous sonnet.

And yet we often speak of love as if it were a “thing” we desire.

We proclaim our love to others as if it were solely a mental activity, such as respect or admiration. “I love you.” However, love requires action.

Love is a verb. And I want to suggest that today we begin to bring that into our awareness by asking “How?” By pondering ways in which to show our love for others, for our significant others and for ourselves.

How do I love? How would I like to be loved? What can I do today to express my love to others, to myself, to the world?

Valentines Day can be a real struggle for us when we don’t have one. A Valentine, that is.

A day that celebrates Romance can feel a bit like the whole world is conspiring to remind you of how little romance you are experiencing.  I once heard some single friends refer to Valentine’s Day as Valloween!!

A holiday that is virtually defined by hearts and flowers, is not a whole lot of fun when there are no heart and flowers coming your way.

And yet, Valentine’s Day is a reminder to love. Love yourself. Love others. Love fully and with your whole heart, take action.

Love & Magic,

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Image courtesy of graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Posted in Chemistry, Conscious Creation, Personal Growth, relationships | 2 Comments

Twenty-Two Ways to Bring LOVE into Your Life

How to Find LoveDo you want to find love this year?  Or deepen the love you have, or attract MORE love into your life?  I want to help you do that, and if you’ll commit to reading this post and staying open to what you read, you will be on your way to attracting the love you seek.

Everything that comes into our experience is attached in some way to how, or how much, we value our self.

Self love, that thing we hear so much about. “You have to love yourself first before you can love others.” -Yes, a huge cliché by now, and yet cliches exist for a reason (My Sweetheart says to me.)

Speaking of My Sweetheart, he has the flu. And taking care loving him this week reminded me of something. How important intention is, especially when it comes to love.  Because real love starts with a pure intention.

The flu is awful. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that. And every single sigh I hear him make, every painful cough, hurts me. Because I love him.

I’m thinking of how we feel when we take care of someone we love, how we can feed them soup, or stroke their brow, kiss their forehead to check for a fever, and there is NO expectation of anything in return, there is NO thought of whether or not they “deserve” our attention, there is ONLY love.

I’m thinking of the way we cuddle a pet, or play with a little child, or change a baby,…never expecting anything in return, never giving them tenderness and care because they’ve earned it in some way, but loving them just because they are.

Do you love yourself that way? When we actually do spend the time or energy to do something loving for ourselves do we have that same pure intention of giving unconditionally? I think for many of us the answer is, no.  We have so many conditions attached to our self love…IF there is extra time (extra time? Really? who ever heard of such a thing?), IF there is extra money (BAHAHAHA), IF I can find something for the kids to do first, IF my boss will give me the day off, IF IF IF IF.

And many times only IF we’ve earned it. “I’ve worked so hard on this project I’m going to treat myself to [fill in blank with nice thing here]. But what if our loved ones treated us this way, only giving to us if we have “earned” it…would that really feel like love?  I once talked to a nurse whose husband made her stand on the scale every night when he came home, if she was over her “ideal” weight he would say, “no fancy dinner for you tonight.” Does that sound like love? or like abuse?

Then why do we treat our self this way? I once heard someone say “If we treated our friends the way we treat ourselves we’d all go to jail.”

I understand that “not enough time” and “not enough money” are the two biggest excuses we all use for our dreams not coming true…for not loving our self the way we could.

So today, I want to give you TWENTY-TWO practical ways that you can LOVE yourself without spending a lot of either. Because finding LOVE starts here…with loving yourself. You see, when you love yourself (and I’m not talking about an IDEA, I’m talking about action) you send a message to your subconscious, as well as to The Universe and to everyone else, that YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE, that you are COMMITTED to LOVE.

Because what we are committed to happens. No excuses. You want to know what you are committed to right now, already? Look at your checkbook and your calender. That’s it. The people you spend your time with, the things you spend your time doing, the items you spend your money on…those are your commitments. Everything else is just an idea. Good idea, bad idea…doesn’t matter.

How committed are you to finding love this year? Because if you are committed to it, it will happen.
And step numero uno is loving yourself, first.

Are you ready for this? As you read through this list, listen to how many times your inner voice tells you that you don’t have enough time, you don’t have enough money …then I want you to imagine saying that to one of the people you love the most. What if you said it every single time they asked you for something…Mommy can I have a drink? Sorry I don’t have enough time to get that for you. Honey could you give me a hug? Sorry I don’t have enough time for that. Very quickly those people would get the message that you don’t love them. What kind of a message do we send when we NEVER have time for ourselves? So, earlier when I mentioned intention…each of the things listed below are meant to be done with the understanding that your intention going in is LOVE.

Okay…ready now?

TWENTY-TWO WAYS to LOVE YOURSELF NOW

1. Get a hug. (Yes, you’ll have to *give* a hug to get one, unless there is no one around, then I want you to just hug yourself. I’m serious, just wrap your arms around yourself and with the same level of intention you have when you cuddle a baby, just give yourself a big hug. Not a pitiful I-feel-so-sorry-for-myself-no-one-is-here-to-hug-me type of hug, Nooooo. Just a nice big you-are-so-awesome type of hug.  SMILE while you do it.

2. Smile at how clever you are. You are you know.  Think of one time when you said or did something really smart/clever/funny.  Think about how awesome that felt.  Feel it again now.  That was YOU that did/said that! You are brilliant!

3. Read some fiction. Ha! (I bet that really tripped you up…because many of the people I talk to that are frazzled from over working and over caring for everyone else answer an emphatic “NO!” when I ask them if they read fiction. Of course they don’t, that would be a waste of time!)

4. Go for a nature walk, and while you are out there spying out singing birds, beautiful flowers, big blue skies, majestic trees, recognize what a fabulous part of nature you are yourself. We are made of star stuff, you know. (repeat #1)

5. Drink something special. Maybe for you that is pure water, or a special coffee or tea, (or one of those super extra chocolaty coffee thingies with whipped cream on top). Do it with intention. Don’t gulp. Sip it slowly and enjoy every single drop. Mmmmmmm. You are SO worth this.

6. Dress up. For no reason other than this is a day to celebrate your awesomeness. Wear something expensive, or sparkly, or silky, or whatever you would normally reserve for some extra special day. GOOD perfume, RED lipstick, whatever. TODAY is that day, my friend. The time is NOW.

7. Dress down. Are you someone who “has to” dress up every single day? Kick off the high heels and wear flats. Wear jeans. Heck, wear pajamas. Be comfortable. Do you know you are worth the exact same amount (priceless!!) no matter what you are wearing? It’s true. Plus, I know you’ll do it in style.

8. Watch a movie that you’ve already seen, that you already love, that you know will make you smile and laugh. Laughter feels good. Don’t you just adore hearing someone you love laugh? Listen to yourself laughing and recognize how nice that sounds.

9. Eat some chocolate. Really good chocolate. Chocolate is traditionally a special and romantic gift. Recently someone gave me some chocolate and when I commented on how delicious it was they replied that they hadn’t ever had that particular brand, that it was “too expensive to buy for myself.” AWWWW MAN!!!!! Go buy yourself a little piece (or shoot a whole BOX) of chocolate right now. Eat it with that LOVING intention.

10. Get a manicure, or a pedicure, or both. (Here is another place where those not enough money chants starts rolling for some of you…so…give YOURSELF a manicure or pedicure. But do it with LOVE and the intention that you are worth being pampered and adored.  Those FEET of yours…they do SO much for you! Be thankful and love them.

11. Look into the mirror. Take a deep breath. Look directly into your own eyes and say, “I love you. I love you SO much. You are amazing just the way you are. Thank you. Namasté.” (Namasté is a sanscrit greeting that literally means, ‘I recognize the divine light within you.’)  You are FULL of divine light, believe it.

12. Schedule a physical, eye appointment, dental check-up, hearing test, or any other medical maintenance type of appointment that you are due to have.

13. Take your vitamins. If you are anything like me you may have plenty of them, and then neglect to be consistent with taking them.

14. Buy yourself some flowers. (Here we go again, right?) Chocolate, flowers…are you serious? Buy them for MYSELF?….Yes. If that not-enough-money voice starts droning on again go buy yourself ONE flower.  ONE.

15. Hand creme. Put some on. Spend a few minutes doing this, and recognizing HOW MUCH your hands do for you. Aren’t they exceptionally wonderful?! Be thankful if you have a pair of them.

16. Cook what YOU like for dinner. Especially if you are a mother, or a wife, or the person who does most of the cooking in the household. How many times do you NOT cook some certain thing you like because you are the only one that likes it? And while you’re at it, break out the good china.

17. Meditate. (Here comes the not-enough-time chatter). Here ya go… <– this will take 7 minutes. Meditation is a powerful way to de-stress, recharge (I’ve heard it said that 20 minutes of meditation is worth 2 hours of sleep), AND connect with your higher self (the spiritual part of you) all at the same time. Indulge yourself.  Learn to meditate.

18. Listen to your favorite music while doing NOTHING else. Headphones if possible.  Turn it up. The whole album. OMG isn’t that delicious?!! You might as well dance too.

19. Wash your car. I mean seriously, you are a rock star. You don’t drive yourself around in that dirty car do you? I KNOW you would wash it if you were going to be driving (insert super sexy person’s name here) around all day.

20. If you wear make-up, clean out your makeup drawer. Wearing makeup that is past it’s prime is not healthy. You love yourself so keeping yourself healthy (and beautiful) makes sense. If it’s old throw it out and replace it. (BONUS: Shopping trip!! – and if the not-enough-money voice is whispering to you just replace ONE thing today, and ONE thing next week…lather, rinse, repeat.)

21. Learn something new. That thing you’ve always wanted to do? It is NEVER too late. Grandma Moses began her painting career when she was 78. She painted over 1500 paintings before she died at 101 years old. Go for it. That desire is there because it is part of YOU, honor it. Take some small action towards fulfilling that dream.

22. Say yes to yourself, by saying No. Or whatever else you need to say to keep your boundaries strong. Setting boundaries is an act of love.

When you show yourself some love, love will start showing up for you. When you respect yourself, others will respect you too.  We teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.

If you are committed to finding love this year, or to find deeper love, or more love, I know you can. Start here. Finding love begins with you.

Love & Magic,

Csignature

 

 

 

Image courtesy of Savit Keawtavee / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Posted in General | 13 Comments

Does Your Environment Support Your Intentions?

does your environment support your intention

Last week I gave you a tip that helped you begin whatever it is you are going to create this year.

This week I’d like to follow up with another idea that will support you. This idea will help you have, be or do whatever it is your big heart desires.

The idea is this: Environment trumps intention.

Whatever it is that you are intending, it is of utmost importance that your environment supports you.  Because regardless of what intentions you make, it is very possible that your environment will win out over your intention unless you make sure your environment supports your intention.

So…what does that mean exactly? This “environment” I speak of? Look around you, at the place you are spending most of your time, at the people you are spending your time with, and also at your own “internal environment” – emotional, spiritual, physical…space.

Is your physical environment—office, home, workspace, etc.—supportive of your goals and intentions?

For example: You want to attract a mate, but your home space supports a single lifestyle  -one nightstand, one lamp, one pillow, one chair, and a table for one, etc. (and while we’re on this subject of being “single” – how would it feel to say you are “available” instead of “single”?)

Or perhaps you want to start a creative project but your workspace is cluttered, dusty, dark, or in some way just generally non-conducive to creativity or productivity.

You want to change your diet and lifestyle habits this year to create a healthier lifestyle, but the people you are spending most of your time with are not interested in living a healthier life.

I’m sure by now you are thinking of your own goals and intentions and seeing how your environment is measuring up.

It is so easy to say, IF.

“If I had a better office I would feel more productive.”

“If I had a mate I’d redecorate the space to be a nice environment for the two of us.”

“If some birds lived in my yard I’d put up a birdfeeder.” <— O_O

“When I get this, I’ll change that.

Here is the thing: the thing we want will show up easier if we make the space for it first.

I’m not suggesting anything big or dramatic. Just make a small tweak here or there. One small shift at a time. Find something doable, NOT something that goes on the to-do list! Something that you can do TODAY. You don’t have to clean the whole office, just clear out a drawer. You don’t have to completely change your diet and habits over night, just change one small thing today. You don’t have to redecorate your entire house as if you were now married…just make one small change today.

Start creating the environment that supports the you that you want to be this year.

One small change today. And then another tomorrow.

Start with that intention you wrote down last week, then ask yourself what kind of environment will support bringing that intention to fruition.

I know you can do it. I’d love to hear what small changes you’ve come up with and how you plan on implementing them today.

Love & Magic,

Csignature

Image courtesy of Tina Phillips / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Posted in Coaching, Conscious Creation, General, Life balance | 3 Comments