Who’s the Star?

Who’s the Star?

This past week I’ve been super busy…and it’s been awesome!

And almost every client I’ve coached this week has had a similar situation with their calendar…super busy!

One noticeable similarity in almost all of these sessions was this: most of their occupation and time spent was on someone other than themselves.

Yes, we often can easily fall into this trap if we’re not careful, especially those of us who are in caring professions, or just like to help others.

So, here is my tip for you this week…..I like to often look at life as if it were a movie or a book. So let’s do that now and I’m going to ask you a very powerful question.

 If your life was a movie, would you have the starring role?

Or would you be a co-star?

Or would you be an extra? (ouch!)

In all the events you’ve experienced, ask yourself whether you were center stage or in the background anonymously.  Do you exist in the lead of an epic plot, or does your life read more like a sight-seeing journal?

My reminder for you this week is that YOU get to write the script for your life. It is YOUR LIFE.

Something else that is helpful, I also make an intention to take very good care of myself during these super busy weeks…for me that means yoga, extra protein, not skipping out on my meditation practice, and taking time out to write and play music and express my ideas with artwork.

I’ve been doing that even in the midst of all of this current busy-ness….my songwriting partner and I have been cranking out some great music, and I’ve made a beautiful painting for a close friend’s birthday present.

And even though it seems like putting these creative endeavors into the calendar would make it even more crowded, it never feels that way.

When your needs are met, you take on a different behavior, and what may seem like an expenditure when your own needs aren’t met, suddenly becomes donation of wealth.

Expressing my creativity in these ways always leaves me feeling refreshed, and recharged, and ensures that I am the star of my own life….not a co-star, not an extra.

What are you doing this week to take care of yourself?

What changes can you make today that will put you back in the starring role of your life?

Here’s to you being a star!

Love & Magic,

Cindie

Posted in Coaching, Conscious Creation, General, Life balance, Meditation, Personal Growth, relationships | 4 Comments

Anam Cara <-----What?!

At the beginning of this year I became aware of a concept that was popular among the historic Celtic people. The concept is called “Anam cara”, which translates as “soul friendship”, and was considered one of life’s most sacred treasures.

“Anam Cara” was a meeting of two souls that was considered destiny, a sweet connection that served to awaken each to the soul’s journey.

I have (thankfully!) a handful of people in my life that I have felt this “destiny” with, some of them upon first meeting or very soon after.  A sense of “history” or timelessness between us.

In this Druid vow of friendship, we see the workings of Anam cara…. and I loved this so much upon discovering it that I committed it to memory, and want to share it with you today.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

I honor your path.

I drink from your well.

I bring an unprotected heart to our meeting-place.

I hold no cherished outcome.

I will not negotiate by withholding.

I am not subject to disappointment.

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

My wish for you is that you will find this depth of friendship many times on your journey through this life!

 

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

Posted in Chemistry, General, Personal Growth, relationships | 9 Comments

The Love Buzz

syringe

Oh Oh Catch that Buzz

Love is the drug I’m thinking of

Oh Oh Can’t you see

Love is the drug for me*

 

Anyone that ever listened to the radio in the mid 1970’s is probably familiar with those lyrics, and anyone who has ever been in love can probably relate to the intoxicating feeling that comes along with intense attraction.

Recently I was having a discussion with two of my nieces, who are in their twenties, and they brought up the topic of jealousy in relationships, and it reminded me of something that Don Miguel Ruiz wrote in his book Mastery of Love.

In one section of the book he uses an analogy that compares what most people call “love relationships” to the relationship between a drug addict and a drug provider.

Ruiz states that the one who needs the most in the relationship is like the drug addict, and the one that needs the least is like the drug provider, and consequently the one who needs the least calls all of the shots in this type of relationship (no pun intended).

So, this is where jealousy comes into play. It is a symptom, a pathology really, of a very unhealthy relationship.

And in this context, the analogy makes sense. After all, no addict wants anyone messing with their stash.

According to Ruiz, this type of relationship that gets labeled “love” is really a relationship of fear, that is totally based on control.

The dealer controls how much the addict gets. Period.

How much attention, how much affection, how much of whatever the addict needs.

On the flip side, the addict feels jealous when faced with the fear of the “drug” not being there.

Kelly Bryson once said, “Jealousy is part of love the way asthma is part of breathing.” I agree. Jealousy is not a normal part of healthy love.

In a healthy love relationship neither party is needy, neither party depends on the other to supply their emotional needs, neither party is jealous, neither party is fearful.

There is no addiction, no pathology.

There is passion, trust, honesty, and respect……true love.

Plain and simple. A true love relationship involves two people that see each other as equals and enjoy each other exactly the way they are, neither one is trying to change the other in any way.

True love is not like an addictive drug, but more like a medicine, it heals, it mends, it forgives, it comforts, it inspires, it supports, it builds up, it sees the best.

True love is anabolic. True love is powerful, and empowering.

Are you ready for rehab?

Here’s to creating love that is true,

 

Cindie

 

*”Love is The Drug” Roxy Music © 1976

 

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No Mistakes

spilled_milk

Have you ever made a mistake?

Of course, I realize that everyone who reads this question will immediately answer “yes” and not only that, I am sure that specific “mistakes” will come to mind as well.

Often with the realization of these “mistakes” comes regret, and/or guilt.

We’ve all heard it said that “hindsight is 20/20” (meaning that we have clearer vision looking back), and we can probably all relate to hearing someone say: “if I knew then what I know now….”.

And there is a reason why we know it now! Often it is because of our experience then.

Old adages like “no use crying over spilled milk” and “we learn from our mistakes” are much more than just thoughts to comfort us when feeling the bumps and bruises of a misstep. It is true that our “mistakes” really are our best teachers.

Everything we experience in life has the potential to be a learning experience if we will make the choice to view it from that perspective.

How would it change your life to consciously choose the belief: “There are no mistakes, there is only human experience.” ?

How would it change the choices you are making if you knew that there was no possibility of making a “mistake”?

The truth is that everyone is doing the best they can at any given time, and if we could make a better choice we would.

We make choices based on so many factors, things like our beliefs, our previous experience, our values, etcetera, and many choices are fear based because of the fear of making a mistake.

Many times we talk about making a mistake that “cost” us something.

I like to think that if it cost me something, then it was very valuable. I bought and paid for it in a sense and I’m going to be intentional about getting my “money’s worth.”

What choices in life have you made that “cost you something”?

What did it cost you?

What lesson did you learn?

How does it feel to view this as a valuable lesson instead of a mistake?

Here’s to getting your “money’s worth”…

I wish you Love & Magic,

 

Cindie

 

 

Posted in Coaching, Conscious Creation, General, Life balance, Personal Growth, relationships | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

Letting Go

 

Letting Go


We’ve all heard that advice before, “Just let it go, Honey. Let it go.”, and in fact letting go can be a very powerful choice. AND, sometimes, it is a lot easier said than done.


Recently I was speaking with someone who told me about a recent situation that they had “let go” of, but as they recounted the incident, I noticed they were clenching their teeth.


The first sign that tells us we haven’t really let go yet is that there is still an emotional charge when speaking of the incident or situation (or even thinking about it.)

Ever try to let go of a child who is holding on to you for dear life?

Nearly impossible. That is what it feels like sometimes to let go of a troublesome event or situation. We want to, but the grip it has us in feels like a stranglehold.


So, here are a few tips to help you let go, even when the situation or event seems to want to hold on to you.

  1. Yes, this will sound cliché…. Breathe. In 30 seconds you can take 3 really deep breathes. Spend 5 seconds for each inhale, and 5 seconds for each exhale. See how you had to let go of the old breath in order to make room for a new breath? Once you let go of the event or situation you’ll automatically make more room for something better.


  2. Bring yourself into the present moment. Be aware of your surroundings and the things that you appreciate right this moment (the deep breaths above will help accomplish this.) Then appreciate them a little, tiny, bit more. This will help you become open, and more able to let go.


  3. Find a purpose in the event or situation that serves you. Often we hear people say that there is a reason for everything. I do not believe that. I do believe that everything can have a purpose. When my son’s best friend died after falling down a flight of stairs there was no good reason for it. None. Then, his family donated his organs to someone else’s child, and gave that child the gift of life. They found purpose. They created purpose. You can too.


How would it change your perception to realize that this event or situation could actually support, enhance, and further your life’s purpose in some way?

Here’s to letting go, and making space for new possibilities!

Love & Magic,

Cindie

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Curiousity Killed the Catabolism

Catabolism…

The first time I ever heard that word was from the lips of a very caring naturopath who at the time was reading some of my test results. I had been very sick and having trouble keeping weight on, to the puzzlement of every doctor I visited. “Do you know what catabolism is?” the good doctor inquired of me. “No” I replied, slightly afraid of what she might tell me next.

Honestly, the word sounded a little scary. Catabolism, she explained, is when the body begins to cannibalize its own muscle tissue to fulfill its requirements for protein. My body was tearing itself down. So much for being a successful vegetarian, but that’s another story for another day. Thanks to some dietary changes I am once again enjoying health, and muscles.

Years later I heard the word again—in an entirely different context—the context of energy, (thanks to Bruce D. Schneider’s book Energy Leadership.) In this context the author explains catabolic energy as negative, destructive energy that tears down as opposed to anabolic energy which is constructive energy that heals and builds up.

We’ve all experienced emotions and actions that could be labeled catabolic. Road rage comes to mind, or the over-tired store clerk who is less than friendly, or maybe a boss who has let his or her deadline ratchet up the stress level until everyone in the office is feeling frustrated, overworked and under-appreciated.

In all of these instances it’s so easy to reciprocate with more catabolic energy. Catabolic energy feeds on itself and can be contagious. Often this is shown immediately by way of judgments, which then create labels (“What an idiot!”).

Judgments and labels nearly always create even more catabolic energy.

Judgments, labels, complaining, whining, blaming, ALL symptoms of catabolic energy.

Another response could be curiosity. Yep, just be a little curious. Instead of judging and labeling (many times the default reaction for humans in our culture), try asking a powerful question.

Just be curious. “What is good about this situation?”, “How can I look at this from a different perspective?”, “What could be some possible reasons for this?” “How can I be part of the solution?”

Immediately the energy can shift to a much more positive experience when we become a little curious and forego the judgments and labels.

Albert Einstein said of himself, “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.” Just think of his experience of energy!

Try it today, be a little curious, maybe even passionately curious. Ah, Passion! But that’s another story, for another day.

Love & Magic,

Cindie

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Are You Getting Your Needs Met?

 

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What is it you need?

Go ahead, to yourself, name one thing you need today.

We all have the basic human needs like our need for food, water, shelter, sex, oxygen, etc., and then there are other human needs we have as well; like the need for respect, and community, and an environment that suits us. The list goes on and on.

What I want to bring to your attention today is the difference between a NEED, and a STRATEGY.

So often, what we think we need, is actually a strategy we’ve devised in our mind.  A plan or device to getting our need met.

Here is one clue that reveals whether a “need” is actually a strategy: if you are thinking that you need a specific circumstance to occur, or a specific someone to be, do, or say something to fulfill your need, it is probably a strategy to get the real need met.

When we stay open to the idea that there are probably multiple ways of getting our needs met (not just that one specific strategy we’ve become attached to) we’ll open up more possibilities of getting our needs met!

Strategies are great, if we realize that most strategies are just one way of meeting a need.  The truth is that there are usually many more ways than just one.

Stay open and see how the Universe helps support you getting your needs met.

Oh, and speaking of strategies, I’ve been opening a few spots each week to give you FREE 20-minute “I’m ready to receive” strategy sessions.  If you’ve been thinking about working with me privately this is your chance to have a one-on-one session with me.  It’s the first step towards becoming one of my private clients.  These sessions are powerful!  Apply here, and be quick, they go fast!!

Love & Magic,

Cindie

Posted in Coaching, Communication, Conscious Creation, General, Life balance, Personal Growth, relationships | 1 Comment

How Flexible Are You?

For the past few weeks here on the blog we’ve been having a discussion about being open to receive what you really want.

And, this week I’ve had an influx of activity in my business and in my life… new clients, new opportunities, new experiences….which has made for a busy and very exciting week!

However, along with all of that activity comes scheduling issues and technological glitches…the telephone lines haven’t always been cooperative when dealing with international calls, etc.

So, last night I found myself thanking someone for being flexible, and that got me thinking about the week and how the willingness to be flexible played into all of this abundance pouring into my life.

You see, I’m the coach that is consistently helping my clients to get super clear on what they want, and to be VERY specific in their requests, whether they are making a request of another person, or God, or the Universe!

But that clarity does NOT mean being rigid!  Being inflexible and rigid is a surefire way to close the door on opportunity.

So even though I do urge you to get clear on what you want, I also strongly suggest that you remain open, flexible, and curious.  Your willingness to be flexible may be the key to getting what you want, or something even better than what you originally intended.

The Universe is ready to bless you, being flexible will allow you to remain open to receiving all of the goodness coming your way.

If you are open (or ready to get open!) to receiving what you want, be sure to schedule a free 20 minute “I’m ready to receive” strategy session with me (via telephone or skype).  This is the first step towards working with me privately.  But be quick…I only open a few slots a week and they go fast!

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Conscious Creation, General, relationships | 1 Comment

Do you want more respect?

This week I spoke to a woman who told me that the thing she wanted most in a relationship was respect.

She described a lot of behavior and interaction that she had experienced and categorized it as disrespect. I got that. She’d had enough, okay? Boundaries around this type of behavior must be established. She decided that she would no longer tolerate disrespect within her relationships.

This is exactly what leads us to create boundaries.  We create strong boundaries to KEEP OUT what we don’t want.

The thing is, we have to be OPEN to let in what we do want.  She wanted a relationship that contained respect.

So, maybe, like this woman, you have determined what you WON’T accept or allow, and you’ve made strong boundaries around these things, and you are an absolute expert at seeing these unwanted behaviors right away. You have learned to identify them and say “no” to them.

Now is the time to go a step further and let that knowledge of what you don’t want help you to determine what you DO want.  And then, become an expert at identifying THAT behavior.

In her case, she is now determined to become an expert at seeing respect.  Knowing what it looks like, what actions show it, what words denote it.

Whatever you put your focus on is what you’ll see come into your experience.

Respect is one of the 7 ingredients to great chemistry.  If you don’t know all 7 of them you can get my free audio class here.

AND, if you are ready and open to receive what you DO want, be sure to apply for my free “I’m ready to receive” strategy session!  I have a few slots open for next week. They fill up fast, so be quick. 🙂

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

Posted in Conscious Creation, General, relationships | 1 Comment

Are You Under-appreciated?

Recently I spoke with several people that all brought up the same topic….they were not being appreciated in certain relationships they were involved in.

I asked them if they would be willing to look at this experience as if they were looking into a mirror.

What is the reason we look into a mirror in the first place?
Isn’t to see if we need to fix or adjust anything?

We look n the mirror to see if anything needs to be fixed or adjusted…is my hair looking okay?, do I have anything in my teeth?, does this outfit match?, etc.

The point is, we are looking in the mirror to see if we need to change anything….about US.  Not about someone else.

Our entire experience can teach us what we need to change if we are willing to be curious and observe what the world is showing us.

What is the mirror of your world showing you?

Here’s to seeing a beautiful life!

Love & Magic,

Cindie

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