How to Find Your Soulmate

How to find your soulmate; thousands of people search this phrase on Google every month. Apparently a huge number of people are on this quest to find their soulmate.

This past weekend I attended the wedding of one of my clients (and when you are a relationship coach, a client getting married is an extra special occasion!!).

I was so impressed by one little twist in the ceremony that I wanted to share it with you.

The traditional wedding vows usually say something like, “I, Bella, take you, Edward, to be my husband.”

But this couple had a slightly different twist, as their vows instead used the word “receive” instead of the word “take”, like this:  “I, Bella, receive you, Edward, as my husband.

That got me thinking about all of you who coach with me, read my blog, talk to me, about finding your “soulmate”…the first order of business is being OPEN TO RECEIVE your soulmate.

Once you get open, the Universe can deliver!

Here’s to being OPEN TO RECEIVE all that the Universe wants to bless you with, including your “soulmate”!

And if you’re not sure how to get open, I’d love to offer you a free 20 minute “I’m ready to receive” strategy session….yes, for free….but hurry, this offer ends in 24 hours!

Love & Magic,




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How to Get What You Want…

What do you want?

I asked a client that question yesterday (we were speaking on a specific topic) and she answered, “I don’t know.”

“You can’t ever have what you want, if you don’t know what it is.” I replied.

This is such a simple thought, but it is so true. So often we know what we don’t want. We have certain experiences in our past that inform us of what we don’t want in a partner, or in a career, or in any of the facets of our lives.  We don’t know what we want for lunch, but we know we don’t want SPAM.

I want to challenge you today to think of an area in your life where you are less than satisfied, where you want to grow, where you want MORE. And then decide EXACTLY what it is you want. You know what you don’t want, and that’s great. Now let that knowledge of what you don’t want help you get clarity around what it is you do want.

Remember: you’ll never get what you want, if you don’t know what it is.

Here’s to knowing exactly what you want in your life, and getting it!

Love & Magic,




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How Do I Know if He (or She) is “The One”?

This is a questions that comes in more than any other question I get from my readers…”How do I know if he (or she) is “The One”?

First, I want to get clear on the whole concept of “The One”…let’s not make the assumption that on the entire planet there is only one person that could possibly be a fit for you.

But hey, I get what you’re asking, you want to know if the guy or gal you are with (or potentially with) is right for you.  You want to create a healthy, solid, powerful, mutually beneficial, loving, happily-ever-after, kind of relationship.  And you want to know if this type of relationship is possible with this particular person, right?

Well, there’s actually a pretty easy way to tell. There are 7 ingredients to great chemistry, and you have to have them all (and if you haven’t heard my Love Chemistry Kit audio class…you can get it here, it’s free!) in order to have that type of special relationship.

But here in today’s blog I’m going to talk about just one of those ingredients, and that one is Authenticity.

Authenticity just might be the single most important factor, not just for your intimate relationships, for ALL of your relationships, and for every single area of your life.  Knowing your life purpose requires you to show up authentically. The ability to be happy in every area of your life requires you to be comfortable in your own skin!

So often people begin a relationship wearing a mask right from the beginning.  Have you ever done this? Sometimes we have such a desire to be what the other person wants (or what we think the other person wants) that it’s easy to start second guessing everything we do and begin behaving in ways that are not true to who we are.  It’s like putting on a mask.

The problem with wearing the proverbial mask is that one day the mask will slip off, and the real you will show up. If the person you’ve been wearing the mask for has fallen in love with the mask they may not like what they see when the real you shows up.

If you want to build something real with someone, you have to be real.  And if the guy or girl you’re interested in isn’t interested in the real you, move on.  You’ll both be better off down the road.

I’d love to hear your comments about this topic and any experiences you’ve had with this type of scenario.

Here’s to being authentic!

Love & Magic,




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How Do I Keep Her Interested?

How do I keep my wife interested?  What a great question!

First let me say that I was thrilled to get that question and want the women who are my readers to really hear this…the men want to know how to keep you interested!

So, immediately I knew how I would respond…and then just for fun, I decided to Google the question. I figured that there were a bunch of other people who would be saying the same thing I was thinking. I was wrong. And now I know what it feels like. JK.

The first three Google responses were from huge men’s sites (which will remain anonymous, but whose actual names are AskMen, etc). I will say that the answers left me speechless. The top answer likened a relationship to someone being in a casino and feeding money into a slot machine without getting anything back. The person would have a lot invested, the article claimed, and wouldn’t easily walk away. So the idea here was to just let your woman give and give and give, without you giving much back in return. That way, the article said, she’d have too much invested to easily leave you. WOW!!

No, No, No!! Guys, this is NOT how to keep her interested!! Keeping her interested requires you to show that you are interested in her. Then she will want to reciprocate. Take the initiative to ask her about what is going on in her life, and then really listen to her answer with genuine interest.

My guess is that in the beginning of your relationship you were truly interested in her and it showed. So she became interested in you also. Your woman wants to feel that she is special to you, and when we think people are special we show it by being interested. Show her you are interested and she’ll reward you by being interested in you.

Love & Magic,


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How Can I Trust Again?

This question is one that I get asked over and over.  How can I trust again.

I know it’s really hard to trust again if you’ve been hurt, or had your heart broken, or have been lied to.  There is a really good reason for that!  We are wired for self preservation!

We naturally want to protect ourselves from pain and painful situations.  This is why we often avoid conversations that are uncomfortable.

If you have been hurt and you are finding it hard to trust again, be gentle with yourself.  And realize that before you begin to open up and trust another person you first have to trust yourself.

Spending time with yourself, preferably quiet time (this means time alone, no music, no reading, cell phone turned off) is one of the best ways to do this.  Focus on your feelings.  Get in touch with your inner world.  Start a journal. Learn how to meditate.

Once you begin to trust yourself you’ll find it easier to trust others.  And hey, if you are feeling mistrustful of someone there might be a good reason for it!  Not everyone is trustworthy!  Learn to listen to your body and pay attention to your feelings.  If you can remain curious and open and observe your feelings without judgment you’ll often be able to see more clearly why you feel the way you do.  Be honest with yourself.

Trust is essential to an intimate relationship.  Allow yourself to build trust over time.  Don’t rush.  And remember, trusting yourself is the key.

Love & Magic,


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Making Things Happen

Recently, I was celebrating an accomplishment with a close friend and he said to me, “Some people make things happen, some people watch things happen, and some people wonder, “What happened?”  I have contemplated this idea the past few days, and came to realize that we have probably all experienced each facet of this saying at one time or another.

I am sure most of us have had the experience of planning a particular outcome and then working to see it come to pass. The experience of feeling accomplishment that comes with “making things happen” is gratifying.

Then there are the times when we watch others accomplish what we might have, but did not, (“Why didn’t I think of that?”…often said with a slap to the forehead, or maybe worse, “I wish I could do that.”)

And then there might be experiences in our life when suddenly we are feeling a little blindsided and realize that our own self-imposed blindness has engulfed us in darkness for so long that we find a situation where all we can ask is, “What the hell happened?”

So, sure, to assume that most conscious people have experienced this to some degree does not seem like a stretch. However, even if we can all relate, I’d like to inform you of the possibility that in actuality we are all making things happen all the time. Right away, we can reference the studies of quantum physics that show we create our reality by our perceptions—our thoughts.  Our belief systems determine how we perceive things.  How we perceive the world, ourselves, and those around us shows up in our stories, the words we speak.

The things we put our focus on are usually the things that end up being predominant in our life.
What story are you telling about yourself?  So often a little verbal editing works wonders.  “I suck at playing guitar” is a much different story than, “I’m in the process of becoming a better guitar player”, and yet I’m guilty of spinning this both ways.  Nevertheless, I am convinced that once I traded in saying “I suck at guitar” for a better spin I started becoming a better guitar player.

How can you put a more positive spin on your story?  Or rather, the real question is: What do you want your story to be?
You have the power to write your own life story. In fact, you are the only one that can. Start today by putting a positive spin on one small part of your story, then you will be in the process of making things happen, consciously.

Here’s to making things happen,


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Self Care Bootcamp

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I’m Sorry

C-Factor Teleclass Replay

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The Path of Least Resistance


Recently I had a conversation with a friend that included the words “hard work”.  My friend related to me that a certain situation “was hard work, but worth it.”  Now, to be fair, I think we all can relate to that statement.  Certainly, we have all been involved in some kind of “hard work” at one time or another and then have been elated, or maybe relieved, to see the “pay off”.  Maybe it was an exercise program, or a big corporate project, or just cleaning out the attic.  It always feels great to accomplish a task, large or small, and then reap the rewards.

However, the whole conversation got me thinking about the limiting belief, or assumption, that hard work is necessary to enjoy a reward.  It seems to me that this belief system is very prevalent today.  Many of us were brought up with a message that told us we had to “work hard” in school, so we could get into a good college, and of course once college came around we then had to “work hard” to get a good job. Once we landed that good job then we needed to “work hard” to get that big promotion.  Surely, you see where I am going with this.  There really never is an end to this cycle because it is the belief that perpetuates the cycle.
So, is this a belief that you have been taught most of your life?  Is it a belief you buy into?

There is a concept in nature that is known as the path of least resistance. In physics, the path of least resistance is always taken by objects moving through a system. Water flowing downhill follows the path of least resistance as it is pulled downward by gravity. Electricity  flowing through a circuit behaves similarly. Storms and weather patterns flow toward zones of low barometric pressure, where lower air density offers less resistance to the storm system than higher pressure zones.
When we relate concepts like resistance, struggle, and ease to energy levels we see that at the lower catabolic energy levels nearly everything is “hard work”, or a struggle, and resistance is constant.  When we move up a few levels and begin looking at the more anabolic levels of energy there is always less resistance, and more flow.  In fact, studies show that the higher the individual’s ‘energy level’ or level of consciousness the more success that person experiences in every area and with much less effort.

In my opinion, one of the most important steps we can take to create ease and flow in our lives is to be authentic.   When we allow ourselves to BE who we really are we embody much less resistance.  Look around at the rest of nature, observe a bird, or a tree, or your dog.  None of them are trying to be anything but what they are, they are authentic all the time, and they seem to breeze through life with purpose.

When we allow ourselves to be authentic, when we let go of the concept that things have to be “hard work” to be successful, we can begin to enter a place where things get easier, and everything begins to flow with ease.

After all, doing is work, being is effortless.

Love & Magic,



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True Love?

This morning one of my friends on Facebook posted a status that read:  “my hat’s off today to all my friends on here who have found true love. So rare, so special, sometimes so elusive.”

This echoes one of the questions I get asked most frequently on my blog….”Is there really such a thing as true love, or is it just a fairytale?”

I suppose most people love a happy ending and a sparkly fairytale life.  Yet, almost everyone realizes at some point that real life often falls short of both.  In fact….in many people’s experience real life just pretty much sucks.

So, I want to try to give you a new perspective on real life, true love, and all of the other sparkly fairytale rockstar stuff you wish you could have but don’t believe is out there for you.

You can walk up to most anyone on the street and tell them that there is no such thing as true love and I think a lot of them would agree with you.  That’s because they are in a relationship that isn’t working.  Just ask Maria Shriver.  Or the late Princess Di…talk about a fairytale gone wrong.

And in the same way you can find so many people that really hate their jobs.  Just start complaining about your boss or your work schedule when you are in line at the grocery store and see how many people chime in and join you.

But would you agree with me if I told you that no one ever likes their career?  Of course you wouldn’t, because we all know people that LOVE what they do.  Those are the people that had the courage to MOVE ON from jobs they hated, from bosses that didn’t respect them, from career paths that just didn’t feel right (even when everyone thought they were crazy).

It takes the same kind of courage to find true love. Why? Because you have to be willing to say NO to what you don’t want.  You have to be willing to say NO to relationships that aren’t working.  You have to be willing to get clear on what you DO want and then be open to finding it.

The reason why true love seems rare is because there are so many people that are tolerating less. Is it really rare? I say no. Is it really special…absolutely.  Is it sometimes elusive? Sometimes….but then again anything can seem elusive to those that aren’t truly expecting to find what they’re looking for.

And if you aren’t what makes a really great relationship, be sure to listen to my free audio class on Love Chemistry.  You can find it here.

Love & Magic,



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