I Want to Feel Safe


Each year I choose a “theme” for the year and use it all year as my guiding light. Doing this each year has helped me stay on track to create the kind of life experience I want to enjoy. This year when I began to ponder a theme I decided to choose words that expressed how I want to feel. And as I did this I had FIVE words come up! The first word was “Powerful“, the second word was “Magical“, and the next word was “Safe.”

I’m so thankful that I have a wonderful relationship that I feel very safe in, because for years that wasn’t my experience. I know now that it is possible to feel completely safe in a relationship, and I want that for you, too.

This year as I pondered how I’d like to feel I realized I want to feel that same level of safety in all areas of my life, such as in my relationship with money, in my business endeavors, in saying yes to opportunities.

I addressed the idea of feeling safe in my latest gift for you, The Lovely Magician’s Guide to Soulmate Success, and I thought I’d share an excerpt here on the blog.

Safety & Self-love

A few years ago I recognized a trending theme in some of my coaching sessions one week, the desire to feel safe. The common denominators: Each client that communicated this desire was a woman, and all of them were referring to relationships with men.

I believe that one of the most important (if not THE most important) relationship ingredient for a woman is safety. When I speak of safety I speak of physical safety, of course, and also emotionally safety, and sexual safety.

As a relationship coach I hear this desire for safety expressed often, and as a woman I can relate to and understand this need.

One evening I was out riding my bike, and reflecting on my day.

As I was riding and thinking about the common thread throughout these recent coaching sessions I noticed a beautiful college age woman riding her bicycle around the lakes. She was not wearing a helmet.

Cyclists without helmets… something I see too often. My thoughts then turned to the drivers I see that are texting while driving and talking on cell phones while driving, once I even saw someone working on a laptop while driving! All unsafe activities that, unfortunately, people engage in all too frequently.

That is when these two trains of thought collided and merged into another thought; People often live out an identity that is not in alignment with their desire.

In this example, how can I expect to feel “safe” in a relationship if I am consistently putting out a message to the Universe that safety isn’t really one of my primary concerns?

The world around us is a mirror that reflects exactly what is going on inside of us. Our life experience is always directly related to our identity.

When what we say we want isn’t showing up, the clue we’re looking for can first be found within, and it shows up in our outside experience in our relationships with other people and things.

Our outer experience is a mirror of our level of self-love. When we decide to start loving our self fully everything in our outer experience changes for the better, including our relationships, of course.


I’d love to hear your thoughts on this excerpt in the comments section! And be sure to get your free copy of The Lovely Magician’s Guide to Soulmate Success!

Love & Magic,


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Magic 101: The Waiting Game

This year I decided upon some guiding words to support me in creating the life experience I want in 2016. Every year I choose a “theme” with a word or two to represent it. This year I had FIVE words come up and I just couldn’t part with any of them so I decided to see how it would go if I honored all of them. The first word I chose was “powerful“. The next word in line is the word “magical”.

First I think it’s important for you to know what I mean when I say “magic”. My definition of magic is:

The successful result of any conscious action taken to bring something from the metaphysical realm – (the realm of wishes, dreams, hopes, ideas, plans, brainstorms, etc.) into the material, physical realm (yes, everyday life!) having the hallmark of ease, grace, synchronicity and often an element of surprise and delight.

That’s pretty much sums up what I want to be experiencing on a regular basis. Some people call it the Law of Attraction, I prefer to call it Conscious Creation or Magic.

There is the element of “as above, so below” or “as within, so without”. But that particular aspect is not exclusive to magic, – it is just a fact of life. Our inner world creates our outer world. Our outer experience mirrors our inner experience. Magic is what happens when we begin using this aspect consciously.

One of the things that can trip up aspiring magicians pretty quickly (and sometimes even seasoned magicians!) is becoming discouraged when it seems like nothing is happening in spite of our best magical efforts. I call this the waiting game, and it’s part of the basic progression that is useful to be aware of anytime we attempt to consciously create an experience. If we pay attention to the natural world it will show up over and over. It looks like this:

Three Phases of Conscious Creation

1. It all starts in the realm of the metaphysical…this is the realm of ideas, dreams, brainstorms, wishes, etc. We can draw a parallel to planting seeds in a garden. This is the phase where we come up with intentions around what we want, we get as clear as we can on how we want to feel (we can’t plant carrot seeds and grow cucumbers!), and we start telling a new story. We start expressing gratitude for these things. We get aligned with what we want. Those new stories and thankful messages are like seeds. This is often a very exciting time. This phase is often marked by a feeling of possibility and exuberance. A sort of “anything is possible” feeling as we dream and plan and get lined up with how we want to feel.

2. Then, we begin the second phase – this phase is likened to the process of germination – this is the period of time where it looks like NOTHING is happening. And yet, this is the time when EVERYTHING is happening. There is A LOT going on under the surface even though it seems that everything is the same old, same old. Same old dirt in the garden. Looks like nothing has changed. This is the period of time that most people give up and revert back to telling the same old stories and focusing on the things that aren’t working. Telling the same old stories and focusing on what isn’t working is poison to those seeds by the way. The seeds of intention need to be watered and fertilized with new stories, gratitude, and faith. Just like a gardener who faithfully waters her seeds, KNOWING that soon she’ll be witnessing little green sprouts bursting forth. She does not dig up the dirt again, she doesn’t need to “check on the seeds”. No, she keeps watering and believing and picturing what her full grown garden is going to look like.

3. And finally…sprouts, then buds, then blossoms, then FULL BLOOM Manifestation! The harvest! Most people don’t wait long enough to see this part, which is why most people are living the same patterns over and over even though they have the power to change everything. Most people give up, go back to telling the same old stories of how things are working and stay living in the same garden dirt instead of enjoying the full bloom of manifestation.

Learning to hold the vision is possibly the most powerful thing we can do to shift from an outworn reality to a new and better one.

Most people may have trouble playing the waiting game that is intrinsic in nature, and in magic. I know you are not most people. I know that you can set yourself up for success by being patient, seeing the finished garden in your mind’s eye and learning to hold the vision, refraining from focusing on what isn’t working and telling a new story full of power.

This, is how magic happens. I am creating a magical year this year. I hope you’ll join me.

By the way, if you’d like some support in holding the vision, pop on over to The Love & Magic Salon. You’ll find a beautiful group of Lovely Magicians over there. We’d love to have you join us.

Love & Magic,


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How to Develop Personal Power


This year I want to feel powerful.

Every year I choose a couple of words to serve as my “theme”. It has been a simple and effective tool to keep me on track. In 2011 I chose “Love & Magic”…that year I met The Handsome Sweetheart and we’ve been making magic together ever since. 🙂

This year as I took some time to choose my theme, I decided to choose words that expressed how I want to feel this year. Instead of a couple of words I had FIVE words pop up for me. They all seemed important, none of them wanted to be left out, so I adopted them all. The first word was “powerful”. And when I talk about feeling powerful, I’m talking about personal power.

I will explain what it is to have personal power, but first – what it isn’t.

Having personal power is NOT having power over others.

It will allow you to have power with others.

Personal power is not attached to anything outside of yourself. It is not a result of having a title, or having wealth, or vibrant health, or being married to someone powerful, or being famous, or earning a degree. Those things might come as a result of personal power, but when you’ve really tapped into your own personal power, losing those things will not diminish it. This power is yours. It comes from within you, not from outside of you.

And it makes you incredibly attractive. If you are wanting to create an amazing life full of wonderful people and opportunities, developing your personal power is the place to begin.

So, here’s a secret to developing your personal power…and it’s actually pretty simple.

Do what you say you’re going to do.

That’s it. That is how you start developing personal power.

Personal power is a result of active integrity. Basically that means that when you say you’re going to do something, you do it. If you say you’ll call, you call. If you say you’ll be to the meeting by 7:00, you’re  there by 7:00.

This not only builds your own personal power, it builds trust.

You can totally begin setting yourself up for success by practicing this one thing.

And if you forget to do something you said you would do…own it. Make it right. It might sound like this: “Hey there, I apologize. I said I would call and I dropped the ball. I totally forgot. I take full responsibility for missing the boat on that one. Let’s try again. When would be a good time to call you this week.” <—(THEN CALL ON TIME.)

Everyone makes a mistake once in a while. Sometimes things come up that are out of our control. We all forget occasionally. We’re human.

Having personal power does not mean you’ll never change your mind, or make a mistake, or forget an appointment. But it does mean that when those things happen, powerful you will be big enough (and vulnerable enough) to correct course quickly.

To be a powerful human we own our mistakes, we make amends, we have integrity, we do what we say we’re going to do.

How would it feel to find your personal power this year?

What other feelings would you like to experience?  Do you have a ritual of choosing a theme or a word for the year? Let me know in the comments below and I may just write a post dealing with some helpful tips for getting there!

Love & Magic,




P.S. If you’d like some help and support creating your reality this year, check out how we can work together. I’d love to support you!

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The Only Jedi Mind Trick You’ll Ever Need


Yoda_Empire_Strikes_BackIn case you are one of the three people who has not yet gotten around to seeing the latest Star Wars film, The Force Awakens, no worries. This post does not contain spoilers, just some Yoda wisdom from episode 5.

I have had the Star Wars theme song in my head for a week.

In preparation for the latest Star Wars film the Handsome Sweetheart and I embarked on a Star Wars marathon and binged watched all 6 previous movies. Some of the prequels I think I missed entirely at their debut. (How is that possible?? And I’m not sure if that gives me more or less nerd cred – opinions are mixed.)

However, I saw something that I love in Episode 5, The Empire Strikes back, and that’s what I’m going to bring up here today.

If you have not seen this episode, or if you are not a Star Wars fan (really? “HMMMMM?”, said with Yoda inflection) it won’t really matter. I believe that if you are interested in personal growth, spirituality, magic and becoming a Jedi this is relevant. Relevant to your becoming. Relevant to your ability to consciously create what you desire.

Even if you’ve never seen a Star Wars movie you surely know the characters: Yoda, Luke, Darth Vadar.

In a nutshell: Yoda = The 900 year-old Jedi Master, Luke = the young Jedi in training, Darth Vader = the evil lord who was once a Jedi himself but has turned to the darkside.

There is a scene in episode 5 where Yoda and Luke come upon a hole in the jungle floor on Dagobah. Their conversation goes like this:
Luke: I feel death, cold.
Yoda: That place… is strong with the dark side of the Force. A domain of evil it is. In you must go.
Luke: What’s in there?
Yoda: Only what you take with you.

Luke proceeds to strap on his weapon. Yoda tells him he won’t need his weapons. Luke takes them in anyway and proceeds to battle the evil Darth Vader, ultimately decapitating Vader with his light saber. Luke then removes Darth Vader’s helmet and sees that the face beneath the shield is his own.

This scene holds a valuable message for those of us who are conscious creators. The entire universe is a mirror for us. I’ve talked about The Magic Mirror before, here and here. It’s one of my favorite concepts and I just couldn’t get this amazing example out of my mind. Plus, it seems really timely since we are winding up 2015 and heading into 2016 in just a week.

Yoda tells Luke that the only thing inside that place is whatever he takes with him.

Every day we have opportunities and situations that potentially bring us to a place where we feel fear, or trepidation, or uncomfortable. I’m not even talking about huge life events,  it could be any number of things where we are going to deal with people or things that we would rather just skip out on.

Difficult conversations, potential conflict at work, holiday parties, that meeting you’ve been dreading, you know the thing I’m talking about.

Whatever we get when we walk into that place, is whatever we bring with us.

We can consciously choose to bring love, compassion, understanding.

Luke brought fear, and weapons. He entered that place and saw what he expected to see – an evil enemy armed for battle. He ends up in a huge conflict. He realizes after he has “won” that he was only fighting with himself.

Who would Luke have encountered in that place had he entered without his weapons, and only armed with love, wisdom, curiosity and understanding?

The next time we have an opportunity where we are expecting to encounter conflict and opposition, what would happen if we put down our weapons and fear and decided to see something else?

I imagine a situation where I have to meet with someone who is notorious for being angry, mean, and confrontational. What if instead of “getting ready for battle”, I chose to see something different. What if I decided that I was going to imagine that the person I’m meeting is the most loving, compassionate, generous person on the planet?

“Okay, fine.” you might be thinking,  “And what if I show up bringing love and light and that person still looks angry, mean, and confrontational. What then?”

Here, my friend, is the power of the Jedi; I can choose to not believe what I see.

I can choose to see something different.
I can use my imagination to create something better.

One of my favorite ideas is that our imagination is where we meet the Divine. I learned that from my good friend Kris Oster, and it’s a powerful truth.

Miracles happen when we master the art of believing what is denied by the senses.

Yoda calls it using the Force. Neville calls it prayer. I call it Magic.

Wherever you go today, you only experience what you bring with you. The only mind you need to “trick” is your own. If you can believe when your senses and logic are saying otherwise, you’ve tapped into the divine power of the conscious creator. It takes practice. We all have a myriad of opportunities.

Wherever you’re headed, you will only find over there what you bring with you.

What will you bring into the New Year?

Choose Love, Magic will follow. (<—“Use the Force, Luke.”)

You have the power to create a better reality for yourself.

Love & Magic,




P.S. Would you like some support in 2016 with developing your Jedi skills? I’ve got a couple new offerings for 2016 – take a look.




Image credit: Official Star Wars website: www.starwars.com

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How to Connect with Your Soul

365 Ways to Connect with Your SoulHow would you like to create a stronger connection with your soul?

This month I’m celebrating the release of a new book that I’m honored to have contributed several pieces to – 365 Ways to Connect with Your Soul. This book was a labor of love from a group of wonderful individuals, and we’ve all been thrilled to watch it hold #1 Best Seller status since it’s debut earlier in November.

I’d like to share with you one of my pieces published in this book and encourage you to get yourself a copy so you can enjoy all of the wonderful entries and stay connected to your soul as you move through the coming year!

I’m so thankful to everyone that has supported this project.

And now, for your enjoyment, here is just one way to Connect with Your Soul…

The Magic of Ink on Paper

As a coach, I’ve been known to ask “If you had a magic wand, what would you wish for?” And, like many coaches, I often encourage my clients to write down their goals.

Why is it so important to write these things down? It seems that written goals have a better chance of being realized.

A Dominican University study has quantified this, showing that “Those who wrote their goals accomplished significantly more than those who did not write their goals.” That alone might be enough motivation for most of us to begin writing down our goals, but there is another, more inspirational, reason for me.

I remember blowing out the candles on my birthday cake and making a wish, and I remember wishing on stars. Maybe you remember these rituals too, or maybe you had other wishing rituals while you were growing up.

I believe wishing rituals came easily to me as a child because children are so connected to their souls. Our wishes reflect the deepest, most authentic part of us.

As a child, the magic of wishing was often provided by an adult (possibly wearing a Santa Claus costume), but as an adult I get the thrill of bringing my own magic to bear on my wishes.

That magic begins with two very non-magical items: pen and paper.
When we write down our goals we have already begun to bring them out of the metaphysical realm – the realm of thoughts, ideas, dreams, and wishes – and into the physical realm, real ink on real paper.

The simple act of bringing your soul’s whispered desires from deep within into the physical world as ink on paper is the beginning of magic – and of wishes coming true.

What wish is your soul asking you to write down today?

I’d love to know! Leave me a comment and let me know. 🙂

Love & Magic,


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Q&A: How Do I Let Go?


Last night was Halloween, and in spite of the fact that The Handsome Sweetheart and I had begun to create our costumes for this year (pirates!!) a year ago…we didn’t foresee the tremendous weather pattern that would be hanging out over our city for the entire day and evening. And I’m just not a big fan of running around in the pouring rain, so we changed plans and stayed in. We shared a lovely bottle of wine and watched the movie Practical Magic. It seemed like the perfect Halloween movie and since I’d never seen it (I know, I know) it was a great choice.

And I loved it. Mostly because it had a happy ending, and also because, well…magic.

And of course…Love, of the true love variety. Love that arrived in spite of Sally’s (Sandra Bullock) desire to prevent it by creating a magic spell to keep true love away. (And I apologize if somehow that’s a plot spoiler for you but I figure I’m the only one on the planet that is coming this late to the party.)

I’m thinking about this movie, and the idea of “true love” and how to attract it, while I’m pondering some questions that came my way recently regarding true love relationships.

How do I “let go” and “let myself off the hook” when I’m trying to attract a relationship?

The original discussion took place over in The Love & Magic Salon, and  concerned not only romantic relationships, but close personal friendships as well.

Like anything we want desperately,  desperation is exactly the thing that holds us at arms length from
our desire. Sally surely wasn’t desperate to have a relationship, in fact she had actively decided she didn’t want one and worked to that end from childhood.

But when we are feeling desperate for a relationship the scenario often goes like this:

We desire a relationship. We start doing what we think we need to do have one. Nothing works. We get
frustrated. We step up our actions and do all the things twice as hard. Nothing works. Frustration doubles. We now have increased our desperation and frustration levels (“OMG everyone else has a relationship!! Even my batshit crazy friend has no problem getting a relationship!! ARRRGGGG!!!…”)

This level of frustration and desperation has now created incredible levels of resistance.

And then, (and I actually received an email from a reader once with this exact question, in all caps)…


If I had to guess, I’d say you aren’t “doing” anything wrong. (So here’s the part where you can let yourself off the hook for the things you are doing). More likely the real issue is not what your doing, but who (and how) you are BEING.

You see, our experience in life is always directly related to our identity. So our actions (what we are doing) are not where the real power is, the creative power stems from who we are being.

This is why when we are being desperate, we automatically create more experiences that cause us to feel desperate over and over. This increases the desperation to a place that is totally unattractive. Literally – a desperate needy person will be repellent, not attractive. And I’m not speaking of physical attraction, but energetic attraction, like a magnet.

I once remember being practically accosted by a sales person who was trying to sell me a handmade hat. I liked the hat. I liked it a lot, but I was still on the fence about buying it. This salesperson was so desperate to make a sale that I completely stopped even thinking about the hat, and just began to plan my escape. I wanted to run, which is the normal human reaction to being chased.

So the question to ask here is WHO are you BEING? Who are you on the inside?

But, don’t answer that just yet. Because first I want to address the issue of letting go – because you are going to have to let go of the desperation in order to be attractive and magnetic.

So how do we let go? I know what you might be thinking – “It sounds so easy but it’s really hard. All I can think about is how badly I want a relationship. I want it BAD. I think about it day and night. I worry that I’ll be single forever and wind up like one of those crazy cat ladies. I’M SO FRUSTRATED!!! This is the thing I want most in my life and now you’re telling me I have to let go of it?”

No, I’m not telling you you have to let go of the desire for a relationship, but I want you to let go of being so attached to the idea of being in a relationship. And there’s a big difference. Because more than likely you’re attached to the fact that you are not in a relationship yet. Dwelling constantly in the “not having” arena in your mind. Attached to the outcome – “I’ve got to make this happen!”

So I’m going to tell you the easiest and fastest way I know of to let go of being attached to your desired outcome (in this case a relationship.)


Acceptance of “what is” – instead of dwelling on what isn’t.

Here’s where I’m going to suggest that you let yourself go down the rabbit hole a bit into those crazy single forever cat lady fears and ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen?

Then, how would I deal with it?

Then, what might be okay about that? Even, what might be great about that?

And then – let yourself accept “what is” right now. If you’re really up for adventure you may choose to love what is, because ultimately you are in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing. And when you begin to believe it you’ll start to see some amazing things happen in your life.

Now, maybe you’re first reaction is to say, “But I have been accepting it! I’ve been accepting it for way too long!”

If this is the case I’d like to make a distinction between acceptance and tolerance. Tolerance may show up as a begrudging type of endurance. “I’m dealing with it pretty well” is not the same as acceptance.

When you are tolerating something you are always giving away your personal power.

When you accept “what is”, right now, you are standing in your own power. Acceptance is being willing to not have the thing you desire. This in no means puts you in the place of giving up on what you desire. It does mean that you recognize that you can thrive without it.

True personal power is not connected to anything you have, including a relationship. Your true power does not depend on whether you are married, or wealthy, or vibrantly healthy, a great business success, or the owner of that thing you want. True power comes from within you, it is not external, it is not attached to anything external.

This place of not having that thing you want yet is your opportunity to develop your own personal power and begin to recognize that you can thrive regardless of what hasn’t manifested in your experience yet.

This amazing creative power that resides within you is the thing that attracts everything you want into your experience.  Breath deep, take a nap, relax, have some fun, and know that you aren’t doing anything wrong. You are in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing.

Your personal power becomes stronger every time you consciously tap into it, acknowledge it, and walk in active integrity.

Every big shift comes after a big letting go.

Letting go is a choice. Let it be easy.

Love & Magic,




P.S. Have you checked out my 7-Figure Relationship book/workbook? It might be just the thing to help create the relationship you want and to support you in recognizing that amazing relationship when it shows up!

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How to Develop Your Intuition

Intuition Cindie Chavez001

Divine Love Oracle Deck – “Intuition” card by Cindie Chavez

“Don’t try to comprehend with your mind. Your minds are very limited. Use your intuition.” – Madeleine L’Engle, A Wrinkle in Time

The dictionary defines Intuition as a direct perception of truth, fact, etc., independent of any reasoning process; immediate apprehension.

Trusting your intuition may not seem like the easiest thing, and that actually makes a lot of sense, because the logical part of our brain likes to, well, be logical! And intuition doesn’t really care too much about logic, it just knows.

In fact, one of the ways I sometimes recognized my intuition in the beginning was that my logical brain would nearly always argue with it.

But here is the thing that helped me so much – believing, even knowing, trusting, that my intuition is always working for my highest good. It is always acting in the service of Love. In fact, I often refer to intuition as “The Voice of Love”, because it is just that certain.

And this is helpful, because so many people tend to second guess their “gut feelings” about a thing because they are afraid of what might happen if they are wrong.

So, for those of you wanting to develop your intuition, wanting to trust your intuition, here are a few things you can begin to do right now that are neither difficult nor scary.

1. Make a habit of spending some extended time, 30 minutes or so, in quiet at least once a week and just listen to what your inner voice has to say. Pay attention to sensations in your body. Your feelings, emotions, ideas, and bodily sensations are how your inner voice speaks to you. Remember that this voice, the “Voice of Love” is always going to be speaking from a loving place.

2. Ask for guidance in areas that are not scary, so there won’t be any real issue one way or the other. This way it makes it easy for you to follow your inner guidance. An example I’ve used in classes where I’ve been teaching intuition development is the time I asked my intuition what grocery store I should run by to pick up a few items. Of course I had “my” grocery store that I always went to, I also had the grocery store that I stopped going to because there was never any good parking and the shopping carts were ancient and frustrating with their broken wobbly wheels that made the carts so hard to push. But…as an exercise in intuition development I asked. When I was first developing my intuition I would use questions like this because it would’t a life or death decision, nothing dramatic, just simple. It wasn’t scary. It was just running by the grocery for a few items. And…my inner voice said to go to the store I hated. I immediately started the inner argument. As soon as I recognized that I was creating a big laundry list of why I didn’t want to go there I started laughing. I was arguing with my intuition. So, I said yes to heading over to my most hated grocery store. When I got there I saw a repaved parking lot with lots of spots, and brand new carts all lined up outside.

3. Start a daily ritual of “hearing” from your inner self. Using oracle cards is a great way to do this. I believe that the power of using tarot or oracle cards comes from our visual brain connecting to our intuition. Personally I use cards as a way to tap into what’s going on within my own heart and mind. Pull a card and ask your inner self how the image and message of the card relates to you that day. What supportive message do you hear? How does it feel in your body?

Learn to follow your intuition in small ways until you become very comfortable with what your inner voice sounds like. Your intuition is always interested in serving your highest good.

And let me know how it goes, I’d love to hear your experience!

Love & Magic,




P.S. I’m so excited to recommend a wonderful collaborative deck that is being created for you right now! The image above is the Intuition card for the new Divine Love Oracle Deck, and I’m thrilled to be a contributor! The deck is being crowd-funded and I would love you to check it out!

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The Art of a Proper Meltdown

mourning-360500_1280This is not the easiest thing for me to admit. But, last week I had a meltdown.

A bunch of stuff had been weighing on me and of course I KNOW this stuff isn’t the truth (at least I know it isn’t the “true true” – because it didn’t feel good…it is the “evidence” that I was seeing that DIDN’T feel good), and I KNOW this…but still…occasionally meltdowns happen.

And it’s not always a bad thing. Pressure builds up, and it needs release, and sometimes the best way to release it is to, well, have a meltdown. But there is an art to having a proper melt-down, especially if you don’t want the event to hinder your manifesting progress.

I had my melt-down after a long and sad conversation with The Handsome Sweetheart, during which he listened, looked pained several times, reassured me of my awesomeness and magic making abilities, and told me everything was going to be okay. We were in a restaurant, so we talked, ate some sushi, had a glass of pinot noir, enjoyed relaxing after a long day, laughed a bit, and then came home.

After we got home, the tears came. The Handsome Sweetheart held me and reassured me, his sadness mingled with mine, his love and faith in me giving me strength.

After I let the tears pour I pulled myself together and we had a lovely evening.

I slept like a baby afterward. I woke up refreshed and full of inspiration, ready to start something new, ready for success.

The Handsome Sweetheart is an incredible man, and I trust him with all of my thoughts, desires, and dreams. And he has faith in me, but not only that – he has faith, period.

He understands vibrations. He understand the power of words. He understands my personal brand of magic. He gets it.

This is precisely why this meltdown I had will not hinder my magic making abilities. In fact, if anything his faith, his love, his understanding of me and my magic – will increase and free up and support me in my manifesting.

The way to create more blocks, more resistance, more struggle, and more “where did my mojo go?” energy is to have your meltdown with someone who doesn’t “get it”.

Someone who is an expert at commiserating with you. Have you ever heard the saying, “Misery loves company”? This phrase exists because it is so often a reality. And the best way to have a meltdown that only makes things worse is to reach out to someone who only knows how to join you in your misery. At times this can feel good at first, (“Hey someone understands where I’m at!“) Until it becomes obvious that this person is dragging you over into Victimland, that place you were just making a quick pit-stop in and now…looks like you might be staying a while.

This is where the conversation just keeps going and going and suddenly turns the corner into a long drawn out convo about “I remember when this one awful thing happened to me, and this…and this…and this…” perpetuating the Victimland vibe and creating a wave of catabolic energy that can only lead to manifesting more of whatever triggered the meltdown in the first place.

So here’s the trick…IF you feel yourself about to have a meltdown, make sure to reach out to someone who can lift you up, someone who believes in you, a mate, a friend, a coach, a loved one who “gets it”…someone who can turn your vibe around just by being there with you.

Someone who can tell a better story than the one you’re telling yourself right now.

I promise it will all work out.

Love & Magic,


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Do You Deserve Abundance?



Okay, I’m going to say this right up front.  That title is a trick question. I’m not trying to get you to think about whether or not you deserve Abundance, because I don’t believe in the concept.

And I’m not talking about the concept of Abundance.  I’m talking about the concept of Deserving.

About 10 years ago I was going through a really hard time in my life. My friends kept telling me I deserved better.  People that love me have told me that I deserve the best life has to offer.  And believe me, it felt completely wonderful to have my friends and loved ones express that to me. Besides that, I absolutely want the best life has for me.

Even if I don’t deserve it.

And I don’t believe I deserve it.

And I don’t believe you deserve it either.

Because, like I said, I don’t believe in the concept of deserving.

I realize that this sounds hard. Maybe even ugly.

I mean, can you imagine me telling a client that is coming to me because she wants a better job, or a soulmate, or to find joy in her life – that she doesn’t deserve it? I can hardly think that would go over really well at first glance.  But I’d do it.

Here’s why.  And look, I want you (and my clients, and my friends, and the world) to have the best. To have abundance, to experience resonant joy, to live a life that is beyond your wildest dreams.

And I know that if I told you that you deserve the best you may take that as a compliment. I get it. It feels really warm and fuzzy, especially when you’re in a tight spot, or a rough place, to have someone hug you and tell you, “You deserve only the best.”

But here’s the deal. You’d be better off to just ditch the whole the concept of deserving, because it’s not serving you. You believing in the concept of “deserving” will prove to be a hindrance far more often than it will ever help you produce anything you want in your life.

And look, I know you probably grew up with these beliefs…most of us did. It’s not our fault. We were trained to believe that we deserve it, or that we don’t.

Santa sometimes played a part. Or the honors roll. Or we had some value or talent or skill that proved how much we deserved it.

We deserved an A. We deserved a raise. We deserved to win the beauty contest, or the football game, or whatever.

But here’s the rub. If you believe you deserve something and it doesn’t show up, then you’re suddenly a victim. “I deserved better than this.” This kind of thinking is a fast track to Victimland, and you don’t want to live there. There is nothing there that you want.

And if you got something wonderful that you didn’t deserve, you may feel guilty and not enjoy it. You may even subconsciously devise a plan to get rid of it as soon as possible. Have you ever known someone that every time something awesome comes into their life they also get something crappy along side it? They get a bonus at work, their car breaks down.  They start dating a great guy, they lose their job. They finally get a vacation, they get sick.

We begin our punishment and rewards journey as small people. We hear things like “Mommy and Daddy love you so much, you are such a good baby!”

And of course so many of us grew up expecting Santa Claus to give us what we deserved, because if you are a good little munchkin Santa will bring you lots of toys!! He keeps a list you know. If you are bad you may get a lump of coal!

We then move on to school where we are again  encouraged to do well with other incentives. (Make the honor roll and we’ll buy you a new bike! Fail the exam and you won’t be going out Friday night.)

Here’s the thing – the whole concept of “deserve” is very heavy, and it packs a lot of self-sabotaging power.

We consistently create our own roadblocks because deep down we think we don’t “deserve” something.  And we create a whole lot of victim energy because we believe we DO deserve something that we aren’t getting (which causes us to wonder if maybe we don’t deserve it after all – a vicious circle.)

Let’s drop the whole concept of deserving and pick up the concept of worthiness.

You are worthy of Abundance. Period.

How does that feel? I can tell you that you are worthy of abundance without knowing a thing about you, without knowing any of your secrets, without knowing about that thing you did, or that idea you had, or that place you failed or succeeded.  Because it doesn’t matter.

Abundance is there for you and all you have to do is allow it to come in.  And knowing that you’re worthy is a key factor in doing so.

So, believe it, you are worthy of Abundance.

Love & Magic,







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The Power in Your Story

daisies-676368_1280The Magic of Midrash

Midrash – noun, (plural midrashim, midrashoth) an early Jewish interpretation of or commentary on a Biblical or sacred text, clarifying or expounding a point of law or developing or illustrating a moral principle.

When I first realized that Kris Oster’s new book Return to Enchantment: Your Guide to Creating a Magical Livelihood included a chapter that mentions midrash my brain lit up.  Actually my body lit up too…in a “full body YES” kind of way.

Being a lover of sacred texts, midrash, and the hebrew language I got pretty excited that Kris had incorporated the idea of midrash into a business book.  Plus, some of the most powerful (and archetypical) stories we all know came from midrash – the story of Noah’s ark for example. So, yeah, I was excited.

When I got to the chapter and read the word “midrashing“, I laughed out loud.

I had never seen the word “midrash” used as a verb. Up until that moment, a midrash was a noun, a “thing”…a story, an idea, an explanation.  But I realized that thinking of it in that way also made it seem a bit stagnant, unmoving, set – even though the very job of a midrash is to help us move away from singular interpretations and to give us a wider view, an alternative perspective, and  often, hope.

Everyone loves a good story.  And yet most of us do not think of ourselves as “storytellers”.  But that’s where we miss the boat, because we all tell stories.  All day, every day.  Many of them we tell unconsciously.

Our most powerful stories begin with a simple phrase: “I AM.”

Which brings us back to the idea of Midrash, after all – the term is intimately connected with the Hebrew scriptures.  In the book of Exodus when Moses asks the burning bush he’s chatting with for a name, the bush replies, “I AM THAT I AM.” (Ehyeh Aser Ehyeh).

Arguably, some of the most powerful words ever spoken.

And that is precisely where the Magic parts comes in. Words. Power. Your story.

Everyday you are creating your world with your words.  Your “I AM” statements are extremely powerful. In fact, everything you experience is directly related to your identity.

Midrashing, then, can be quite a useful “thing” to “do”.

Most of us tell hundreds of stories every day.  And although I don’t mean to use the word “story” in the sense of telling lies, as children we may have been confused about that terminology.  “Sounds like you’re telling a story to me”, our parents may have said as they were sure we were lying about something, or at the very least they were concerned that we were letting our imaginations run away with us. “Tell the truth” we were  admonished, “Honesty is the best policy”, and of course “Thou Shall Not Lie.”

But what else is a Midrash, if not an imagining, or a re-imagining of what we’ve known to be “the truth”?

Letting our imagination run away with us may be one of the best things we’ve ever done, if we do it consciously.  After all, as Kris points out in her book “The imagination is the sacred space where the divine inhabits us.”

Imagination aside, most of the stories we tell, we tell honestly. I’m broke. I’m feeling unwell. I’m not good at math. I’m terrible at remembering names. My business is failing. My marriage is not exciting anymore. My job sucks.

On and on we go, telling the truth.

When maybe we could re-imagine, reform, revisit, retell those stories.

Maybe we could go a-midrashing.

I often converse with clients about what I call “I AM” stories.  Just like the statements I used above, “I’m this, I’m that.” “I AM.”

Our “I AM” stories are incredibly powerful.

We often hear in law of attraction circles that our “thoughts become things.” And while I wouldn’t completely disagree with that, I believe there is more to it.  Our thoughts become our beliefs, and our beliefs become our stories, and our stories create our experience. So the value of our stories, the value of “midrashing” if you will, is immense.

I once spoke with a women who identified herself as a “survivor” at least 10 times in the first 15 minutes of our conversation. She had indeed survived much – abuse, divorce, poverty, cancer, loss, etc. But,  I realized at one point that she was so attached to that identity, to that “story” (“I AM a Survivor!”) that there was really no way she could create anything else in her life except more experiences to survive.

Our stories create our experiences.

To “midrash” this particular example the same woman may have told her story much differently.  Maybe it would have sounded like this, “At one time I had cancer and it was quite a battle, but now I AM healthy. I’ve been through a divorce from an abusive man, but now I AM healing, and I AM available to begin a loving relationship, I was brought up in an impoverished home, but I have everything I need right now, and I AM in the process of creating abundance. I have experienced loss, but through that I have gained a strong appreciation for the relationships in my life, and I AM grateful for the many wonderful people I relate to each day.”

Do you see the difference in one story from the next even though the past experience is the same?

What part of your story can you midrash today?

Your imagination is the sacred space where the Divine inhabits you.

Today, listen to your story, and edit it accordingly.  You may be surprised and delighted by the new revised version.

Love & Magic,




P.S. If you’d like some inspiration to tell a new business story, be sure to pick up a copy of Return to Enchantment.  It’s a peach of a book, sprinkled through and through with wisdom and brilliance to help you create a magical livelihood.




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