The Art of a Proper Meltdown

mourning-360500_1280This is not the easiest thing for me to admit. But, last week I had a meltdown.

A bunch of stuff had been weighing on me and of course I KNOW this stuff isn’t the truth (at least I know it isn’t the “true true” – because it didn’t feel good…it is the “evidence” that I was seeing that DIDN’T feel good), and I KNOW this…but still…occasionally meltdowns happen.

And it’s not always a bad thing. Pressure builds up, and it needs release, and sometimes the best way to release it is to, well, have a meltdown. But there is an art to having a proper melt-down, especially if you don’t want the event to hinder your manifesting progress.

I had my melt-down after a long and sad conversation with The Handsome Sweetheart, during which he listened, looked pained several times, reassured me of my awesomeness and magic making abilities, and told me everything was going to be okay. We were in a restaurant, so we talked, ate some sushi, had a glass of pinot noir, enjoyed relaxing after a long day, laughed a bit, and then came home.

After we got home, the tears came. The Handsome Sweetheart held me and reassured me, his sadness mingled with mine, his love and faith in me giving me strength.

After I let the tears pour I pulled myself together and we had a lovely evening.

I slept like a baby afterward. I woke up refreshed and full of inspiration, ready to start something new, ready for success.

The Handsome Sweetheart is an incredible man, and I trust him with all of my thoughts, desires, and dreams. And he has faith in me, but not only that – he has faith, period.

He understands vibrations. He understand the power of words. He understands my personal brand of magic. He gets it.

This is precisely why this meltdown I had will not hinder my magic making abilities. In fact, if anything his faith, his love, his understanding of me and my magic – will increase and free up and support me in my manifesting.

The way to create more blocks, more resistance, more struggle, and more “where did my mojo go?” energy is to have your meltdown with someone who doesn’t “get it”.

Someone who is an expert at commiserating with you. Have you ever heard the saying, “Misery loves company”? This phrase exists because it is so often a reality. And the best way to have a meltdown that only makes things worse is to reach out to someone who only knows how to join you in your misery. At times this can feel good at first, (“Hey someone understands where I’m at!“) Until it becomes obvious that this person is dragging you over into Victimland, that place you were just making a quick pit-stop in and now…looks like you might be staying a while.

This is where the conversation just keeps going and going and suddenly turns the corner into a long drawn out convo about “I remember when this one awful thing happened to me, and this…and this…and this…” perpetuating the Victimland vibe and creating a wave of catabolic energy that can only lead to manifesting more of whatever triggered the meltdown in the first place.

So here’s the trick…IF you feel yourself about to have a meltdown, make sure to reach out to someone who can lift you up, someone who believes in you, a mate, a friend, a coach, a loved one who “gets it”…someone who can turn your vibe around just by being there with you.

Someone who can tell a better story than the one you’re telling yourself right now.

I promise it will all work out.

Love & Magic,


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Do You Deserve Abundance?



Okay, I’m going to say this right up front.  That title is a trick question. I’m not trying to get you to think about whether or not you deserve Abundance, because I don’t believe in the concept.

And I’m not talking about the concept of Abundance.  I’m talking about the concept of Deserving.

About 10 years ago I was going through a really hard time in my life. My friends kept telling me I deserved better.  People that love me have told me that I deserve the best life has to offer.  And believe me, it felt completely wonderful to have my friends and loved ones express that to me. Besides that, I absolutely want the best life has for me.

Even if I don’t deserve it.

And I don’t believe I deserve it.

And I don’t believe you deserve it either.

Because, like I said, I don’t believe in the concept of deserving.

I realize that this sounds hard. Maybe even ugly.

I mean, can you imagine me telling a client that is coming to me because she wants a better job, or a soulmate, or to find joy in her life – that she doesn’t deserve it? I can hardly think that would go over really well at first glance.  But I’d do it.

Here’s why.  And look, I want you (and my clients, and my friends, and the world) to have the best. To have abundance, to experience resonant joy, to live a life that is beyond your wildest dreams.

And I know that if I told you that you deserve the best you may take that as a compliment. I get it. It feels really warm and fuzzy, especially when you’re in a tight spot, or a rough place, to have someone hug you and tell you, “You deserve only the best.”

But here’s the deal. You’d be better off to just ditch the whole the concept of deserving, because it’s not serving you. You believing in the concept of “deserving” will prove to be a hindrance far more often than it will ever help you produce anything you want in your life.

And look, I know you probably grew up with these beliefs…most of us did. It’s not our fault. We were trained to believe that we deserve it, or that we don’t.

Santa sometimes played a part. Or the honors roll. Or we had some value or talent or skill that proved how much we deserved it.

We deserved an A. We deserved a raise. We deserved to win the beauty contest, or the football game, or whatever.

But here’s the rub. If you believe you deserve something and it doesn’t show up, then you’re suddenly a victim. “I deserved better than this.” This kind of thinking is a fast track to Victimland, and you don’t want to live there. There is nothing there that you want.

And if you got something wonderful that you didn’t deserve, you may feel guilty and not enjoy it. You may even subconsciously devise a plan to get rid of it as soon as possible. Have you ever known someone that every time something awesome comes into their life they also get something crappy along side it? They get a bonus at work, their car breaks down.  They start dating a great guy, they lose their job. They finally get a vacation, they get sick.

We begin our punishment and rewards journey as small people. We hear things like “Mommy and Daddy love you so much, you are such a good baby!”

And of course so many of us grew up expecting Santa Claus to give us what we deserved, because if you are a good little munchkin Santa will bring you lots of toys!! He keeps a list you know. If you are bad you may get a lump of coal!

We then move on to school where we are again  encouraged to do well with other incentives. (Make the honor roll and we’ll buy you a new bike! Fail the exam and you won’t be going out Friday night.)

Here’s the thing – the whole concept of “deserve” is very heavy, and it packs a lot of self-sabotaging power.

We consistently create our own roadblocks because deep down we think we don’t “deserve” something.  And we create a whole lot of victim energy because we believe we DO deserve something that we aren’t getting (which causes us to wonder if maybe we don’t deserve it after all – a vicious circle.)

Let’s drop the whole concept of deserving and pick up the concept of worthiness.

You are worthy of Abundance. Period.

How does that feel? I can tell you that you are worthy of abundance without knowing a thing about you, without knowing any of your secrets, without knowing about that thing you did, or that idea you had, or that place you failed or succeeded.  Because it doesn’t matter.

Abundance is there for you and all you have to do is allow it to come in.  And knowing that you’re worthy is a key factor in doing so.

So, believe it, you are worthy of Abundance.

Love & Magic,







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The Power in Your Story

daisies-676368_1280The Magic of Midrash

Midrash – noun, (plural midrashim, midrashoth) an early Jewish interpretation of or commentary on a Biblical or sacred text, clarifying or expounding a point of law or developing or illustrating a moral principle.

When I first realized that Kris Oster’s new book Return to Enchantment: Your Guide to Creating a Magical Livelihood included a chapter that mentions midrash my brain lit up.  Actually my body lit up too…in a “full body YES” kind of way.

Being a lover of sacred texts, midrash, and the hebrew language I got pretty excited that Kris had incorporated the idea of midrash into a business book.  Plus, some of the most powerful (and archetypical) stories we all know came from midrash – the story of Noah’s ark for example. So, yeah, I was excited.

When I got to the chapter and read the word “midrashing“, I laughed out loud.

I had never seen the word “midrash” used as a verb. Up until that moment, a midrash was a noun, a “thing”…a story, an idea, an explanation.  But I realized that thinking of it in that way also made it seem a bit stagnant, unmoving, set – even though the very job of a midrash is to help us move away from singular interpretations and to give us a wider view, an alternative perspective, and  often, hope.

Everyone loves a good story.  And yet most of us do not think of ourselves as “storytellers”.  But that’s where we miss the boat, because we all tell stories.  All day, every day.  Many of them we tell unconsciously.

Our most powerful stories begin with a simple phrase: “I AM.”

Which brings us back to the idea of Midrash, after all – the term is intimately connected with the Hebrew scriptures.  In the book of Exodus when Moses asks the burning bush he’s chatting with for a name, the bush replies, “I AM THAT I AM.” (Ehyeh Aser Ehyeh).

Arguably, some of the most powerful words ever spoken.

And that is precisely where the Magic parts comes in. Words. Power. Your story.

Everyday you are creating your world with your words.  Your “I AM” statements are extremely powerful. In fact, everything you experience is directly related to your identity.

Midrashing, then, can be quite a useful “thing” to “do”.

Most of us tell hundreds of stories every day.  And although I don’t mean to use the word “story” in the sense of telling lies, as children we may have been confused about that terminology.  “Sounds like you’re telling a story to me”, our parents may have said as they were sure we were lying about something, or at the very least they were concerned that we were letting our imaginations run away with us. “Tell the truth” we were  admonished, “Honesty is the best policy”, and of course “Thou Shall Not Lie.”

But what else is a Midrash, if not an imagining, or a re-imagining of what we’ve known to be “the truth”?

Letting our imagination run away with us may be one of the best things we’ve ever done, if we do it consciously.  After all, as Kris points out in her book “The imagination is the sacred space where the divine inhabits us.”

Imagination aside, most of the stories we tell, we tell honestly. I’m broke. I’m feeling unwell. I’m not good at math. I’m terrible at remembering names. My business is failing. My marriage is not exciting anymore. My job sucks.

On and on we go, telling the truth.

When maybe we could re-imagine, reform, revisit, retell those stories.

Maybe we could go a-midrashing.

I often converse with clients about what I call “I AM” stories.  Just like the statements I used above, “I’m this, I’m that.” “I AM.”

Our “I AM” stories are incredibly powerful.

We often hear in law of attraction circles that our “thoughts become things.” And while I wouldn’t completely disagree with that, I believe there is more to it.  Our thoughts become our beliefs, and our beliefs become our stories, and our stories create our experience. So the value of our stories, the value of “midrashing” if you will, is immense.

I once spoke with a women who identified herself as a “survivor” at least 10 times in the first 15 minutes of our conversation. She had indeed survived much – abuse, divorce, poverty, cancer, loss, etc. But,  I realized at one point that she was so attached to that identity, to that “story” (“I AM a Survivor!”) that there was really no way she could create anything else in her life except more experiences to survive.

Our stories create our experiences.

To “midrash” this particular example the same woman may have told her story much differently.  Maybe it would have sounded like this, “At one time I had cancer and it was quite a battle, but now I AM healthy. I’ve been through a divorce from an abusive man, but now I AM healing, and I AM available to begin a loving relationship, I was brought up in an impoverished home, but I have everything I need right now, and I AM in the process of creating abundance. I have experienced loss, but through that I have gained a strong appreciation for the relationships in my life, and I AM grateful for the many wonderful people I relate to each day.”

Do you see the difference in one story from the next even though the past experience is the same?

What part of your story can you midrash today?

Your imagination is the sacred space where the Divine inhabits you.

Today, listen to your story, and edit it accordingly.  You may be surprised and delighted by the new revised version.

Love & Magic,




P.S. If you’d like some inspiration to tell a new business story, be sure to pick up a copy of Return to Enchantment.  It’s a peach of a book, sprinkled through and through with wisdom and brilliance to help you create a magical livelihood.




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3 Steps to Conscious Creation: Step III – Finding Evidence


So far in this series, “3 Steps to Conscious Creation” we’ve discussed what it means to take Radical Responsibility and why the first act of Radical Responsibility is Leaving Victimland.

In part 3 we’re going to get to the really (REALLY!!) fun part – Finding Evidence.

(If you haven’t read Part I and Part II yet, please do so before diving into this post.)

Before we talk about “Finding Evidence”, I want to address a super critical element in your ability to deliberately create what you say you want. This crucial element is Self-love.

What you experience in life is directly connected to self-love.  First, we are ALL powerful creators and the evidence of what you believe, (as well as the evidence of your current level of self-love) is all around you. Therefore, when you decide to deliberately create a bunch of phenomenally wonderful experiences it is expedient to start with loving yourself up, because self-love is foundational. It’s the juice that  powers up your conscious creator engine.

Another important distinction: Self-care and self-love are not exactly the same thing.  Self-care regimens are usually comprised of things like eating well, getting a manicure, exercising, getting a massage, resting enough , and most of us take daily actions to care for ourselves in at least some way (showering, brushing teeth, eating).  However, self-love is about intention.  Those of you that are mothers may recognize the difference between how you care for your baby, and how a babysitter may care for them.  Any babysitter can certainly feed, bathe, and put a child to bed.  But when you do those same things, you do it with so much love it is palpable.

So, taking good care of yourself, and loving yourself are not exactly the same thing, although they can be two facets of the same action. Be sure that your care of yourself is powered by loving intentions.  This will add some super powerful mojo to your manifesting.

Now, the fun part:  Finding Evidence.  The things you want are already showing up in your life to some degree. You just have to be open to see them.  They might be small, but they are there.  And once you program your mind to see them, they’ll start showing up more and more.

Your life experience is directly connected to your identity.  If you want to attract love, you have to be “that person who attracts love”, (Which is why you’ll have to stop telling that story about “I never attract love.”) When your story becomes, “I attract love into my life easily”, you will.

The sooner you start seeing evidence of what you desire, the sooner you’ll experience more and more of your desire showing up.

Have you ever been on a jury? Both the prosecutor and the defense will both want to show you as much evidence as they can. Why? Because the more evidence you see the more convinced you will be.

It’s the same with conscious creation.  When we were still living in Victimland we were experts at identifying all sorts of evidence to prove how rotten everything was.  We could talk about it forever, and whenever some Pollyanna came along to tell us things weren’t really that bad we’d pull out our incredibly long list of crappy experiences to argue for our limitations.  Our life was sucky and we had PROOF! That was our story, that was our identity – we were the people living a not-so-great life!

But now, today, we can make the choice to live a great life.  We can change our story, and the best way to do this is to begin to find evidence of our great life.  We want to see that great stuff as easily as we once saw all of the not-so-great stuff over in Victimland.

So now that we have chosen Radical Responsibility and moved out of Victimland it’s time to find the evidence that we have an amazing life.

I like to do an exercise where I find evidence of 4 things – Health, Wealth, Love, and Magic.  Those are the 4 things that I am actively cultivating in my life.  You may want to create something different. Feel free to choose whatever turns you on.

Even if you just moved out of Victimland yesterday, and you are very new to conscious creation, you can still start a list of evidence.  It might look something like this:

  • Health – I walked to lunch today and made sure to drink plenty of water
  • Wealth – I found a nickel on the sidewalk today
  • Abundance – I have a gazillion lipsticks and nail polishes (haha this is one of mine, but surely there is something you have a gazillion of even if it’s a drawer full of socks or box of teabags)
  • Love – A cute guy in the grocery line smiled at me
  • Magic – I had been thinking of my friend all day, and then she called
  • Spirituality – I spent a moment in nature today admiring the birds singing and I felt a connection to the Universe

These days I usually can find at least 10 things for each category at any given moment, but I’ve been doing this a while and I’m pretty good at it. In fact I find so much evidence to support my inspired vision that I really don’t have time or energy to find evidence against it.  I also like to fill my evidence journal with momentoes of fun times (a fortune cookie fortune, movie ticket stubs, a wine bottle label, etc.).  The Handsome Sweetheart and I will often look at each other and just say “Evidence!”

Now here is a really fun part – sometimes when you aren’t actually seeing the evidence you want, you can just make some up.  Right now as I was looking out my office window a huge wind was blowing the trees around and I proclaimed, “The trees are dancing for me!! Evidence that I’m living a magical life!”  That caused me to crack up laughing.  And that felt good.  And feeling good is a high vibration that attracts more feeling good.  After all, everything we want, we want because we think having it will make us feel better.  So have fun with this!

Finding and collecting evidence that your inspired vision is already beginning to show up is fun! It feels good. I like to collect little journals like these and these to keep track of evidence (and good quotes, and shopping lists and all kinds of reminders.)

When you begin to find more and more evidence you’ll automatically be shifting your belief system. Remember, we choose our beliefs, our beliefs inform our thoughts, our thoughts create our stories, and our stories create our experience.

All of this takes practice, and you can begin right away.

And remember: You are a powerful creator and the Universe is always supporting you.

I’d love to hear about the evidence you find! Let me know in the comment thread below or better yet…come join us over at The Love & Magic Salon, and tell us what you’re creating!

Love & Magic,







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3 Steps to Conscious Creation, Step II: Leaving Victimland

person-769804_1280In the first installment of “3 Steps to Conscious Creation” I introduced the concept of “Radical Responsibility” – in which we choose the viewpoint that we are responsible for our own life experience, the beautiful, the terrible and everything in-between. If you get queasy thinking about this remember that I’m only asking you to choose this viewpoint. Act as if you believe it. Pretend, if that helps. Try it on.

And if you haven’t read Part 1 of this series yet, please do so before continuing on with this section.

In order to take a step forward we need to be either motivated or inspired. Things we don’t want to experience are great motivators to get us into motion, but once we are inspired to reach new heights – that’s when our action gets turbo-charged. Tony Robbins was once asked “What motivates you?”, his answer – “I don’t need motivation, my vision is so big that it pulls me in the direction I want to go.”

For you to create what you want with the greatest ease possible your “why” needs to be out in front of you…something you are reaching for, something you can see clearly, a success or a goal you can feel viscerally. You want your vision to be pulling you forward. You don’t want your “why” to be behind you, chasing you, a big scary thing that has you running away from it with all the speed you can muster. This type of motivation is a powerful monster that will eat you up and ruin your enjoyment of the journey to success (even if you do get there eventually).

Divorcing Victimhood and Embracing Radical Responsibility will have an effect on motive and motivation, namely replacing motive with vision and thereby trading motivation in for inspiration.

Now that we’ve chosen Radical Responsibility, and we’ve gotten inspired by our vision of what we want to create, we are ready to move on to Step 2.

Our first act of Radical Responsibility is to move out of Victimland. We just won’t be able to fit into that particular neighborhood any longer. We probably (no, definitely) will at times find outselves visiting or longing for a visit to Victimland once in a while, but we won’t allow ourselves the experience of settling down there ever again.

The people that live in Victimland are champion complainers, whiners,blamers, and naggers. They can really take whining to a new level. In fact, some of them are so versed in the art of whining that if by chance they should start talking in their sleep no doubt it would be a complaint. Whenever I catch myself whining or complaining I remember that I don’t live in Victimland anymore, and that my behaviour is dragging me right back there.

Here’s the deal with being a Victim – you can’t be a creator and a victim in the same moment. You are either perceiving yourself as a victim, or you’re not. There is no grey area. You are either at cause, or at effect.

When we choose to stop playing the blame game, stop complaining, stop whining about everything, we elevate our energy automatically into a more anabolic energy level, and anabolic energy  is what makes Magic happen.

Step 2 can be boiled down to “Stop Complaining.”

But be easy on yourself about this, new habits take time to develop. And if you are hard on yourself it’s just another form of complaining and victimizing yourself. No need to beat yourself up over it.

Here’s a language shifting tip that will help to empower you as you begin to drop the complaining habit. Instead of saying, “this or that makes me feel xyz” just begin to say “I feel xyz”. It’s a powerful trick and works to elevate your energy even in situations where you legitimately have a very good reason to feel upset about something.

There is a big difference between saying “You make me feel bad”, and “I feel bad when this happens.” We can still experience a full spectrum of human emotions without playing the victim role.

You want to allow yourself to feel all of your emotions because they are all valuable, all miraculous, all tools to give you important information about yourself. And then, as far as whining and complaining go…just stop. Stop complaining about politics, religious views, mean people, poor service, bad weather, the economy,  etc.

When we choose to accept Radical Responsibility, there is nothing happening, NOTHING HAPPENING, that we can complain about, or worry over. NOTHING.

Can we take action? Of course. Constructive complaining is fine – when the waitress brings you something you did not order there is no directive here to just suck it up, instead go ahead and ask for what you want. And then let it go. No need to call everyone you know afterwards and relive the complaint over and over.  You are not a victim. You do not live in Victimland and you are not going for the 2015 Complainer of the Year Award.

Can we feel displeasure or pain or stress or fear – of course we will, we are human and all of our human emotions provide valid and important information for us. But to be a conscious creator of the highest magnitude, and to enter the Kingdom of Abundance, we have to be willing to perceive nothing else. We make that choice in the moment. We choose to look ahead, to focus on the glorious, wonderful, “why” that is out in front of us, and we expect to close the gap with ease and delight.

If we want to allow everything that Love (Heaven, God, the Universe, Source, the Divine, etc.) wants to bless us with we cannot look over our shoulder constantly complaining about the poverty, the lack, the loneliness, the bad news that is chasing us down.

One of my favorite authors and teachers, the late Florence Scovel Shinn, wrote that “You cannot enter the Kingdom of Abundance bemoaning your lot.”

You’ll never get rich by complaining about how poor you are (or how bad the economy is, or how few jobs there are available). You’ll never get your spouse to fulfill your idea of the perfect mate while you are complaining about every little thing he does. You’ll never develop vibrant health while complaining about how badly you are feeling. You MUST set your sight on the experience you desire and move towards it. Forget what you are moving away from, it doesn’t matter. You want to be so fully focused on the delight ahead of you that you completely forget what is behind you. You have to let go of those ideas that are not serving you.

To come to the place you are journeying towards you have to be willing to perceive nothing else.

Every big shift comes after a big letting go.

If we choose the viewpoint of being completely responsible for our life experience, then we’ve really got nothing to complain about anyway. Instead, next time you aren’t digging what life is handing you, use this affirmation. “I AM a powerful creator.”

If you can create all of this stuff in your life experience that you aren’t loving, you must also have the power to create a bunch of amazing stuff that you will love.

This one decision will completely shift your life experience.

Next time, Step 3. But for now:

  • Choose Radical Responsibility
  • Create an inspiring vision of what you want
  • Move out of Victimland
  • Stop complaining
  • Stop looking back

and remember… YOU are a powerful creator.

Love & Magic,


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3 Steps to Conscious Creation – Step 1: Radical Responsibility

Conscious Creation, Law of Attraction, Manifesting, Magic…the act of deliberately creating our experience goes by many names, and of course there are a bazillion different methods, thoughts, ideas, and teachings floating around to choose from.  Today I want to share my ideas for laying a proper foundation for the Conscious Creation process.

We begin with the concept of Radical Responsibility. This is the somewhat fantastical and incredibly powerful idea that we are completely responsible for every single thing we experience. This isn’t to say that we are to “blame” for sucky things that come our way. If it rains on our parade we are not to blame. Rain happens. However, when we choose “Radical Responsibility” we choose the viewpoint that we are responsible for our own experience of rainy parade days and every other thing we experience, no matter how wonderful or how awful.

On the day our parade gets rained on we can choose to experience it as a frustrating day, a disappointing day, a failure. We can find someone to blame – the weatherman perhaps. Or we can choose to let go of blame (even self-blame, maybe especially self-blame) and choose a better perspective from the myriad of options always available.

This level of responsibility is foremost to our ability to consciously create the life we desire. And it is deeply intertwined with our motive, and hence, our motivation.

For years I worked in sales, and one of the things that I remember hearing often was the idea of one’s “Why”. “You can accomplish any goal you set if your ‘Why’ is big enough”, my sales trainers would say. Your “Why” was your reason, your driver, that thing that kept you going towards your goal.

I was taught that it pretty much didn’t matter what my “why” was if it was BIG enough. Small “whys” were not very powerful, but if your “why” was BIG enough, well you could do just about anything.

Some of the very successful salespeople I knew had really big dreams. These dreams were their “why” – they wanted to serve the planet in a big way, they wanted to give back to their communities and families, they wanted to travel the world, they wanted to contribute, they wanted to enjoy the luxuries that wealth can afford, they wanted to send their children to better schools.

Others had “whys” that were not things they saw in their future (the nicer home, the opportunity to travel, better schools for their children, etc.) but their “whys” were connected to things they desired to leave behind – experiences they didn’t want to have anymore – they didn’t want to be poor, they didn’t want to be in a job they hated, they didn’t want to work three jobs to make the rent.

These two viewpoints make the difference between motivation and inspiration. Generally we are motivated by things we don’t want and inspired by things we do want.

I totally get the motivation part – the part of us that says “Screw this, I’m tired of being fat, unhealthy, alone, poor, lonely, bored, in a job I hate, etc. We get tired of being in uncomfortable situations, and when the time comes that we’ve “suffered enough”, we then have the motivation we need to get us moving towards something better.

And once we choose a new direction and begin to focus on the “something better” we are choosing to live in Radical Responsibility Land.

Here’s the twist though, when we choose Radical Responsibility we MUST begin looking ahead at what we want. This is choosing Inspiration over Motivation.  Motivation has it’s place, but as conscious creators we must focus on what it is we want as opposed to what it is we are trying to get away from.  If we are running from something we are still dwelling in Victimland and have not yet crossed over into fully inhabiting Radical Responsibility.

I remember reading Pam Grout’s book E-Cubed and a quote JUMPED out at me. She was writing about this very idea of setting your sights on what you want, as opposed to what you don’t want. She said, “To be in the kingdom, as A Course in Miracles puts it, is to merely focus your full attention on it. YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO PERCEIVE NOTHING ELSE.” (Emphasis mine)

That shook me to my core. “You have to be willing to perceive nothing else.”

This is without a doubt the most radical implementation of Radical Responsibility I can think of presently.

What this also means is that IF we want to have the success we dream of, it is imperative that we look ahead to that success and STOP looking back at what it is we don’t want. This can be difficult when we are currently living in the very circumstances we don’t want.

This is the difference between playing to WIN, and playing NOT TO LOSE. We choose to be willing to perceive nothing else.

And this is the first step in creating the life you desire.

Choose to take Radical Responsibility for your experience, ALL of your experience. And then, focus on what it is you want and choose to be willing to perceive nothing else.

This takes practice. Staying curious helps. You can start with getting quiet for a few moments each day and spend that time really feeling what it is like to have the life you dream of…”perceiving nothing else” for those few moments.

Next time we’ll continue on to Step 2, but for now just the conscious decision to take responsibility for everything in your experience is where I suggest you focus. Stay curious. Look ahead to the dream that inspires you. Play to win.

See you in the winner’s circle!

Love & Magic,


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My Top 10 Beloved Books


I LOVE books.  And I buy way too many  a LOT of them.  I’ve been promising this Top Ten list for a while, and since I’ll be adding a new feature (book reviews!) here in June, I thought this would be a great way to begin.

For me, there are few things better than relaxing on a beautiful beach, a good book in one hand, a cold beverage in the other, and the Handsome Sweetheart relaxing there next to me.  THAT is what I think of when I hear the phrase “Summer Reading”. (NOT some list of books that my teachers are requiring me to slog through before the Fall semester!!). So with Summer right around the corner, I thought I’d brainstorm my top 10 list of books.  These books are my most beloved books, by that I mean they’re the ones I’ve read over and over, the ones I go back to time and time again.

Although I read many different genres of books, the ones I tend to read and re-read are usually in the personal growth genre, so that is mostly what you’re going to find here on my top ten list.  And although the first 2 really are my top 2 favorites of all time (so far) the others are in no specific order. I love them all.

Ready, readers? Here we go!

1. Seven Spiritual Laws – Deepak Chopra [genre: personal growth/spirituality]

I can’t count how many times I’ve read this particular title, and I have the CD’s as well (at one time I had them all loaded in the CD changer in my car and listened to them over and over, always hearing something new!) The size of this little book may fool you, it looks as though it could be read in an hour or so, and although technically you probably could, there is so much to chew on that it may keep you busy for a while. My beloved copy never leaves my bedside table.

2. The Game of Life and How to Play It – Florence Skovel Shinn [genre: spirituality/new thought]

This one is another that I’ve read over and over and my little paper back copy is dog-eared, highlighted, and well loved. I struggled a bit whether to list this as my number one or number two – I settled on second place only because I found it after I discovered Deepak Chopra’s Seven Spiritual Laws. The Game of Life is my “go to book” whenever I need to get grounded and remember how powerful I am. 🙂

3. The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho [genre: fiction, spirituality]

I remember having a session with one of my first coaches who was stunned that I had never read The Alchemist. She said to me, “Oh My! This book is my bible!!” That was enough for me, I bought it and loved it and have read it several times. First published in 1988 it has sold over 65 million copies and has been translated into over 67 languages. A classic.

4. The Mastery of Love – Don Miguel Ruiz [personal growth/self-help/relationship]

This is another book that’s size may fool you. I took this book with me on a beach trip, thinking I’d read it in a few days tops. But that summer I remember reading a few pages and suddenly needing to take a long walk down the beach. A long thoughtful walk, pondering what I’d just read. I did this the entire trip and had lots of epiphanies that summer. A beautiful book that affected me and my philosophies on relationship very deeply.

5. Outrageous Openness – Tosha Silver [genre: spirituality]

I found this little gem totally by accident. Well not really since I don’t believe in accidents, but I certainly was not looking for it when I found it, and I actually bought it because I loved the cover art. When I read the acknowledgments and saw Florence Scovel Shinn named I knew I’d love it, and I did. You can’t read this book without having your hope restored and your zest for creating your own life renewed.

6. Financial Alchemy ~ 12 Months of Magic and Manifestation – Morgana Rae [genre: finance, self help, personal growth, magic, and spirituality]

This book has been a favorite of mine since 2010. I’m a workbook junkie but this is the only workbook I can say that I’ve ever used more than once. I use it every year and I love that the user decides the start date so no worries if you didn’t buy it in January like most yearly planner or workbooks. Morgana has a truly unique style and original body of very powerful work. Use at your own risk…if you aren’t looking for abundance steer clear. 😉

7. Magical Clutter Clearing Boot Camp– Tess Whitehurst [genre: cleaning, self-help]

It might seem odd to find a “cleaning” book on this list, but this book is honestly full of magic (and  a treasure chest of practical tips.) You’ll definitely want those tips once Tess convinces you of the connection between your living environment and your ability to create magic in your life.  I refer back to this book anytime I feel like my home or office is fighting the clutter monster and it never fails to motivate me, cheer me up, and give me just the kick I need to get my living/working space back in order.  Plus, you can’t beat such a great book at such a tiny price.

8. Seeker: The Tarot Unveiled – Rachel Pollack

I’ve been reading tarot for over 15 years, and of all the Tarot books I own, this may be the one I open most often. Although it’s technically a YA (young adult) book (written for teens), I love it’s simplicity and directness. Pollack has written quite a few wonderful books on the tarot and I’ve loved them all (Tarot Wisdom is another of my favorites by Ms. Pollack), but for a quick insightful reference this one is my favorite. And a great book if you are just learning tarot as well.

9. The Science of Getting Rich – Wallace Wattles

A Classic. Every person interested in understanding their financial situation (and desiring to improve it) would do well to read (and reread) this one.  It’s not a big book, but it’s full of big life shifting ideas.

10. The Astonishing Power of Emotions – Abraham-Hicks

This may be my favorite of the Abraham-Hicks books. If you aren’t familiar with Abraham-Hicks you may want to start with Ask and it is Given, or The Law of Attraction, but all of their books give a good overview of their “law of attraction philosophy” (and if you are one of my readers I’m guessing you already have a good idea of what the law of attraction is all about). I especially love the CD storytelling that Esther Hicks does in The Astounding Power of Emotions accompanying CD. I couldn’t stop smiling while I listened to it, and that’s always a good thing when you are a conscious creator. 😉

Happy Reading!

Love & Magic,





P.S. The links above are my affiliate links (and you can feel generous and proud knowing that if you buy any of the books mentioned through my links you’ll be making a tiny little contribution to the upkeep of this space. If for some reason you’d rather not use an affiliate link that’s fine too, please do what brings you joy!)

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Time to Move Forward


This week I set aside some time to begin bringing my latest project to life.  In fact, I actually had EXTRA time this week. I had ALL the time I could have possibly needed…and yet.  My project was not moving forward as quickly as I would have liked.

Every time I would begin working on it something would distract me.  And besides the fact that working from home has it’s pitfalls (the laundry whispering to me, the floor begging me to mop instead of write, the knitting project winking and flirting at me) something else was going on.  But I couldn’t put my finger on it.  I finally said YES to a project that has been banging around in my brain for such a long time.  I’ve gotten wonderful feedback about it, I’ve got a gazillion ideas for it, people already telling me they want to purchase it, I am truly excited about creating it, the supplies I need to begin arrived this week, and yet …no forward motion.

So this morning I was writing in my journal and I took a look around my room. I was writing morning pages and drinking coffee in bed like most mornings, and OMG. SO MUCH CLUTTER.

And I like pretty things…so my clutter is kinda cute. Cute little piles of books over here and pretty journals over there and a gorgeous little clutter of my favorite Paris cotton yarn in a multitude of pretty colors and a pile of this and a stack of that and OH!! BINGO! /facepalm

THIS is part of the problem!!! You see when energy is stuck it’s hard to move forward, and clutter in our physical environment prevents energy from flowing freely. So today, I created a de-clutter ritual and it was so powerful that I decided to share it with you.

You’ll need:

1. Some clutter. (If you don’t have any clutter you don’t need this ritual!!) And please email me right away if you can’t find one single area of clutter in your house.

2. 30 minutes. Yep, that’s it, just 30 minutes.

3. Your favorite candle (I’ll explain in a second)

4. A notecard and a pen or pencil (I LOVE INDEX CARDS!!! but you can use a post it or whatever)

Ready? Here we go!…

The Love & Magic Powerful De-cluttering Ritual

First let me say that rituals are powerful.  I believe that’s partly because of all the intention behind them. You plan for them (even if it’s just for a few moments). You gather materials (like the candle and the notecard). Your soul gets involved. And even having the ritual brings a sense of order, which is comforting to us humans.

Secondly, we are seriously WIRED for rituals. EVERY culture has them. I believe rituals fulfill a basic human need. You know, birthday cakes and candles and bedtime stories and choosing a name for a pet or a new baby and having morning coffee and teatime – all forms of ritual. We just do them automatically because that’s how we’re made.

AND…knowing that everything is energy and the whole “as above so below” thing, and keeping in mind that your inner work affects your outer world – this ritual is going to be POWERFUL!

First find a smallish area of clutter (remember, we are going to do this in a 30 minute time frame) – so that pile of papers or books or yarn or (my personal favorite) the JUNK DRAWER! Woohooo!! (I actually did this for the first time with my vanity – which was a HUGE freakin’ mess.  And without hurrying I finished this whole ritual in about 28 minutes.  So go with your gut.  But I wouldn’t pick a walk-in closet or anything. *wink*)

Now bring your candle, your index card and your pen over to the de-clutter target.

Light the candle. (We do this to mark time and space. We are making an act that symbolized that we dedicate this time to this project.)

Choose an area in your life – a work project, a relationship, a goal – something that is a challenge or that you are unclear about. Some area you’d like order, clarity, ease. Write one word that sums up the situation. One word. Don’t over think it, we’ve got 30 minutes remember? 😀 (My word “Calendar”)

Decide the main quality or qualities you’d like to see more of in that situation. Here’s what came up for me – Right now I’d like to have more order and organization in my work day. I feel overwhelmed and I’d like clarity and ease in my work schedule. Underneath the situation word, write the quality or qualities you’d like. My index card says, “Clarity, Order, Ease.”

Now, say this blessing (make this intention):

As I take this time to de-clutter this [drawer], I intend to see [Clarity, Order, and Ease] show up in my life in the area of my [latest project]. As I put this [drawer] in order, I expect the factors in my [latest project] to come into the perfect order as well. I trust you [Universe, God, Source, whatever you feel comfortable with] to support me in this and to help me bring about this powerful intention. Amen. Let it be so.

Now you should have most of the 30 minutes left to put that drawer or stack or pile in order.

Knowing that as you put your physical surroundings in order it is going to have an affect on your emotional, spiritual, and relational areas as well!

Once you finish putting your target area in order, blow out the candle and take a few deep breaths. Now, recognize what it feels like in your body to have this little bit of order and new space available. Savor that delicious feeling for a moment, and now go about your day knowing that your actions in physical space affect everything else, too.

Bravo!! Well done!

Okay, now be sure to leave a comment below to let me know about your experience with this little ritual, or better yet – pop over to the Love & Magic Salon and let us know how this worked for you. 🙂

Love & Magic,


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Are You Willing to Walk it Out?

Intentions blue

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems you cannot hold on a minute longer, never give up then for that is just the place and time the tide will turn. ~Harriet Beecher Stowe

This past week has been an amazing time of connecting, creating, and celebrating over at the Love & Magic Salon as the members of our sweet group participated in The 2015 Love & Magic Spring Invitational.

Many seeds of Intention were planted and some of the seedlings sprouted so quickly we all were singing with joy at the magic we were seeing. Amazing synchronicities and insights.

And this morning I’m thinking about what often happens when we make strong intentions – I’m talking about serious public declarations and strong stands being taken.

The Universe begins to support us in ways we didn’t expect. And sometimes those ways are not as fun as the magic and singing and celebrating (and all the flat out JOY we’ve been having.)

No doubt you’ve heard the phrase, “walking your talk.” We all want to show up and do the things we say we’ll do, reach the goals we’ve chosen, basically be a person of integrity.

And what I’m talking about here is not just walking your talk.

This particular phenomenon is what I call it “Walking it Out.”

The twist is that walking it out often springs itself upon us before we know it, and sometimes it feels like the hardest climb we have ever taken.

The idea of walking your talk usually amounts to integrity—doing what we say we will do, or practicing what we preach. Pretty simple.

But this concept that I call “walking it out”, is the Universe subjecting the conscious intentions we make to a test—it is proving us.

I once heard someone admonish that if you are to pray for patience be prepared to find yourself in the longest lines and the worst traffic ever. In other words, be prepared to walk it out. Because how else can you practice patience except being in a place where it is required of you?

Whenever I find myself in a hard place (emotionally, financially, physically, or otherwise) I immediately question myself with this: “What am I walking out?” In other words, “What intention have I declared?”

And in my experience, the stronger the declaration, the quicker we are faced with the opportunity to walk it out.

Are you serious about what you are intending? If you are, you will no doubt find yourself in the position to “walk it out.”

You might start questioning your intention when this happens.  You might feel like a fraud, you might want to just back pedal and be willing to go back to your pre-intention setting life.  You might want to quit altogether.

Because being faced with a “walking it out situation” probably is the last thing you’ll expect when you still enjoying the high of being self-empowered, the joy of coming out strong with those intentions.

And BOOM!, right in the middle of the happy dance – something unexpected appears out of left field and suddenly you’ll got to walk it out.

It probably won’t feel good. It probably won’t be easy. It might require a leap of faith.

It will be worth it.

One belief that you can choose (yes, we choose our beliefs) that will help support you in walking it out is this:

Count yourself fortunate, as you are being given the opportunity to become something greater, something better, something more powerful, than you are in this moment.

When you come to the edge of all the light you know and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. – Barbara Winter

The tide will turn, you will find solid ground (or fly!), and the sun really will come up tomorrow.

And as a client told me yesterday – the sun will seem shinier, the flowers will look prettier, and you will know what it is to be in the ease and flow of your own conscience creation.

Here’s to walking it out. I know you can.

The Universe is ALWAYS supporting you.

Love & Magic,




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Your Feelings Are a Miracle


How are you feeling today?

Are you experiencing feelings that you’d rather not feel? You know, uncomfortable feelings that maybe you’d just rather avoid?

Today is Valentine’s Day. A holiday that is attached to so many different feelings – in both the desirable and undesirable categories.

In years past I’ve heard Valentine’s day referred to as “Valloween” (by some women who were single and dreading the day as it approached.) I assume that the real dread was for all of those uncomfortable feelings that may surface. Feelings of loneliness, unworthiness, sadness, jealousy, etc.

I’ve heard of some single women planning “Galentine’s Day Parties” – a time to hang out with their Gal Friends and celebrate friendship. I’m sure these plans were made with the intention of generating better feelings and memories than Valloween.

In 2011 I found my Valentine, a Valentine that showers me with love and affection including flowers, chocolate hearts, fancy dinners, wine, kisses, and pretty much anything else you can associate with a romantic Valentine’s day experience.

And before I found my Handsome Sweetheart? Well, let’s just say I’ve had my share of Valloweens.

But here is the thing I really want to address today, however you are feeling right now – happy, joyful, thankful, elated, passionate, desirous, lonely, sad, angry, jealous, resentful, brokenhearted… every single one of those feelings, is a miracle.

Your feelings are the way your higher self, your wiser self, your inner self, communicates with you.

Your feelings are what I call the Voice of Love. You, in your purest form, the highest and most enlightened part of you, is pure love. And the only way that that part of you can communicate to you is through your feelings and your emotions. All of those feelings are giving you some of the most important information about you that you can ever have. And when we shut those feelings off, or numb them out, or push them down, or turn them away and ignore them…we are missing out on a miracle.

The key is to understand that all of those feelings fall into one of two categories – they either feel comfortable to you or they feel uncomfortable.

If they feel comfortable they are letting you know that your needs are being met. When they feel uncomfortable they are letting you know that you’ve got a need that is not being met. That’s all. Simple? Yes. Easy? Not always.

The seemingly easier thing is to just judge the feeling as good or bad. The problem with that is as soon as we judge the feeling as something bad we immediately want to get rid of it.

But what if that feeling is there to tell you something important?

Letting you know that you are not in alignment with your highest self, there is something you need and you can fill the need to alleviate the undesirable feelings.

When we look at our feelings with no judgement, but with the knowledge that those uncomfortable feelings can be the source of very important information, our feelings then have the space (non-resistance) to flow, shift, change, and evolve into desirable feelings.

Whatever you are feeling today. It’s a miracle.

And whether you’ve got a Valentine or not, be sure to show yourself some love today.  In fact, just decide to show everyone in your path some love today.  Choose Love, Magic will follow.

You are loved.

Love & Magic,





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