I’ll have an owl, Please.

 

barn-owl-220497_1280 (1)If you could ask for anything and have it show up in the next 48 hours what would you ask for?

I asked for an owl.

I know, even I think that sounds a bit weird looking back on it, but I love owls, and I guess I was having a hard time believing I could manifest world peace, or a new Mercedes, in 48 hours.

So, I’ll have an owl, Please.

It all started when Terri (a member of the Love & Magic Salon and one of my best friends in the world) asked the group if anyone had ever read the books E2 & E3 by Pam Grout.

I had read E2 a couple of years ago, but had never even heard of E3, so I ordered the E3 book and went to my bookshelf and grabbed E2 to give it a quick reread. As I opened it I saw a bookmark on a particular experiment.

This experiment was very, very simple. It basically consisted of 2 parts –

1. Ask the Universe for something & 2. Receive it within 48 hours. Easy Peasy.

I’ll have an owl, Please.

Like all of Pam’s experiments there was a lab sheet with a space to record date and time. I recorded January 14, 2015, 10:15am CST.

I wasn’t sure how the owl would show up. I figured that someone would send me a greeting card with an owl on it, or some product I needed would happen to have an owl on the label (Hitachino Nest beer anyone?), or that I’d get an email with an owl in the banner, or see a child at the grocery with an owl plushie, or who knows.

I didn’t know how the owl would show up, I just knew that it would.

However, I did not expect what happened just twenty-six hours later.

I was sitting at my desk in my office, my desk faces a window. I heard a rustling sound and looked up to see a huge owl, with a wingspan of at least 4 feet, fluttering close enough to my window that his wings were brushing against it. I live in the city, on a busy thoroughfare. Occasionally I see a cardinal, or a blue jay from my window. The only owl I’ve ever seen in person was at the Renaissance Faire. Until this owl appeared at my window – it was real and it was spectacular. My heart was beating fast and I almost burst into tears when I realized that my owl had arrived in such a wondrous demonstration.

And…that wasn’t all…the next morning I checked my email and there was the daily email from Abraham-Hicks. The email banner looked like this:
Abraham-Hicks Owl Banner Snip

I was shocked. I’ve been on Abraham-Hicks mailing list for years and I only remember the banner having a beautiful image of sunlight shining through some trees. I looked for the email from the day before. It was there and was yet unopened. It had the owl. I searched for the day before that and found it – no owl. Just trees.

Abraham-Hicks Tree Banner Snip

So…the day that my magnificent owl appeared is the same day that the Abraham-Hicks email banner changed to include an owl. O_O

Several of us over at the Love & Magic Salon are enjoying these books, the experiments, and a lively discussion about how we are experiencing it all. Have you joined us over there yet? C’mon over!

If you could ask for something and have it appear within the next 48 hours what would it be?

Love & Magic,

Cindie

Posted in General | 8 Comments

Comfort & Joy

ComfortAndJoy2015
Happy New Year Beautiful Soul!

Each year I choose a “theme”, generally my theme is just a word or two that evoke the things and feelings I’d like to experience in the new year.

This year, as I pondered what my theme for 2015 would be, the words “Comfort & Joy” popped into my head…and then (after a bit of resistance) into my heart.

Resist as I may, those words seemed to be following me around.  I just kept seeing them EVERYWHERE…and then, as I opened up a brand new Veranda magazine (OMG I’m a little obsessed with Veranda) to create a quick collage for the new year, what did I see on the page I opened to? Yes, the words COMFORT & JOY.  LOL.

“Okay!, Okay!, I get it” I said aloud, “Comfort & Joy it is.”

And, I do think the Universe is having a bit of fun with me, a Jewish girl, by giving me a theme with words from a Christmas song, LOL.

However, the more I think about it, the more I recognize that Comfort & Joy really are at the root of most of our desires, yes? The things we long for, the things we reach for, search for, hope for…are usually really just strategies that we think will make us more comfortable, or bring us the feeling of joy, the feeling of happiness.

So, this year, Sweet Soul, I’ll be doing my best to bring you tidings of comfort and joy all year long.  And of course the Love & Magic never ends around here. 🙂

I’m planning a year full of goodness for you, (and because it brings me joy, that will include lots of gifts and prizes and prezzies for you!)

Here’s my first gift for you…a little bitty worksheet to plan your own theme for 2015.

I’d love to know what theme you’ve chosen! Come share with us over in the Love & Magic Salon, or leave a comment below.

Sending you so much love as we start this new year!

Love & Magic (and tidings of Comfort & Joy),

Cindie

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Do You Want More Time?

pocket-watches-436567_640Recently I spoke to a group of entrepreneurial women and the conversation that ensued after my short presentation let me know that it had resonated with them in a deep way.

I had been asked to speak on “Creating a Magical Business”, and so I started with the idea of Magic.

Personally my own definition of Magic is this:

The successful result of any conscious action taken to bring something from the metaphysical realm – (the realm of wishes, dreams, hopes, ideas, plans, brainstorms, etc.) into the material, physical realm (yes, everyday life!) having the hallmark of ease, grace, and an element of surprise and delight.

That’s basically what I want to experience, all the time, if possible.

But here’s the thing that gets in the way, not just for me, but for SO many women (and not just the entrepreneurs either!)

Resistance.

You see, non-resistance is imperative to Magic. And when our lifestyle, our beliefs, and our stories (Oh man, especially our stories) foster resistance in us, then the magic can seem to just disappear (no pun intended!)

So what I did was give these powerful women ONE tip that they could implement immediately to begin creating some non-resistance in their life (resulting in more magical experiences of course!)

I was a little worried that my “powerful tip” would be a big disappointment to this group, because it really does NOT seem all that magical. No faerie dust. No magic wand. No puff of smoke.

Just this: Set yourself some office hours.

I know, NOT all that sexy.

But here is the thing, making specific office hours for yourself is a way of setting a boundary that you, your family, and your clients can honor and in the process you’ll get more time, more respect, more peace, more calm (no more taking calls in the middle of dinner!), more accomplished, and you’ll begin to notice that you will in time experience much less resistance because this one small outer tweak will change your story, and changing your story will alter your inner game.

We often hear that “thoughts become things” – but the truth is that our beliefs become things, or rather our beliefs inform our story and our story creates our experience.  And when our story is that we don’t have enough time (how often do you tell that story?), or that we have to be available 24/7, or that we have to work long into the night, or answer calls during dinner (you get the picture) – we begin to experience a very constricted and confusing kind of life where we have few boundaries and little personal space – and the very real perception that we do not have enough time.

If you work for someone else, you can still set your “home office” and your personal hours –  the time you spend managing your household, paying bills, organizing things, taking phone calls, etc.

The two biggest excuses for not having the life we want are usually a lack of time & money.  Not enough time, not enough money.  So I often tell my clients that I can teach them how to stretch time, stop time, manipulate time.  And that all starts with setting some boundaries around your time.  If you want to take control of your time you have to be willing to start somewhere.

Setting boundaries is an act of love, and it is one way that you can begin to create the life you want, the life you dream of, a life full of love & magic.

The members of the Mastermind group I belong to have been buzzing since this meeting and everyone has been choosing their newly decided office hours. It’s really a fabulous thing to see so much power in action!

And I know that this one small action is going to create some big Magic!  Give it a try, and let me know how it works for you.

 

Love & Magic,

Cindie

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Tis the Season

cocoaheart“I will not buy a pumpkin spice latte. I will not buy a pumpkin spice latte.”

The above quote was my best friend’s Facebook status a few days ago.  I laughed out loud when I read it.

I can say that I have never, not once, tasted a pumpkin spice latte.  But apparently, they are very hard to resist if you have.

After she posted her status someone commented, “Go ahead and have one. You deserve it.”

Now, in all fairness…I’m not judging the comment, in fact if I understand those words to imply, “You are so wonderful, I think you should have whatever it is you desire.” – and I totally agree.

I just don’t believe that my friend deserves a pumpkin spice latte.

Because I don’t agree with the concept of “deserving.”

If you want to have a fabulous life full of love, magic, abundance, and [fill in the blank with every single thing on your wishlist], you might want to just drop the whole concept of deserve. Because believe me, it is hindering your progress.

The belief that we deserve or don’t deserve something proves to be a hindrance FAR more often than it ever helps produces anything you want in your life.

Think that you have worked hard and deserve that promotion?  Are you such a good wife or husband that you deserve to be treated better by your spouse? Have you been such a great parent that you deserve your kids to always be on their best behavior?

Think again.

It’s perfectly fine and good that you want those things. So want them.  Get them. Have them. Enjoy them. JUST STOP believing that you deserve them.

Here’s why…

1. If you believe you deserve it and you don’t get it, you’ll then go on to believe that “life has been unfair to you” and this IMMEDIATELY transports you to Victim  Land.  You don’t want to live in Victim Land. There is nothing there you want.

2. If you believe that you don’t really deserve it and you get it anyway then you may feel guilty about having it and won’t be able to enjoy it, and you may even subconsciously find a way to “get rid” of it. (Ever meet someone who continually attracts great things only to lose them again and again?)

Look, it’s not your fault.  We get taught these concepts very early.

We begin our punishment and rewards journey as small people. We hear things like “Mommy and Daddy love you so much, you are such a good baby!”

Sometimes Santa Claus is involved. If you are a good little munchkin Santa will bring you lots of toys!! He keeps a list you know. If you are bad you may get a lump of coal!

We then move on to school where we are again manipulated encouraged to do well with other incentives (Make the honor roll and we’ll buy you a new bike! Fail the exam and you won’t be going out Friday night.)

Here’s the thing – the whole concept of “deserve” is very heavy, and it packs a lot of self-sabotaging power.

We consistently create our own roadblocks because deep down we think we don’t “deserve” something.  And we create a whole lot of victim energy because we believe we DO deserve some thing that we aren’t getting (which causes us to wonder if maybe we don’t deserve it after all – a vicious circle).

I know you want to have a life full of magic.  I want you to have everything you desire – every single thing that lights you up, that gives you warm fuzzies, that makes you laugh, brings a smile to your face, and warms your heart.

Not because you deserve it.  Just because you are you, and because a smiling, laughing, warm-hearted, lit-up version of you is the BEST version of you. Which is a wonderful thing for you, and for the whole world. The world needs you to be the best you possible, because we are all in this together and you being the best you makes the world a better place.

So get yourself a pumpkin spice latte. Not because you deserve it, but just because you want one.

Or skip it, if that is a better choice for you, not because you don’t deserve it, just because it’s the better choice.

And making the better choice brings a smile to your face, and to mine.

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

P.S. Speaking of Seasons…Have you decided to join me for A Season of Magic?  We’ll be starting soon and I’d love you to be there with us!  Click here to find out more and to listen to Part I for FREE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

photo credits:
hot cocoa – amenic181- freedigitalphotos.net
Posted in Coaching, Conscious Creation, General, Magic, Personal Growth | 3 Comments

The Wonderful Hidden Value of Guilt

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“If only I wasn’t an atheist, I could get away with anything. You’d just ask for forgiveness and then you’d be forgiven. It sounds much better than having to live with guilt.” ~ Keira Knightley

Guilt. That icky sticky feeling we all hate and yet…just try something you think you shouldn’t or say “no” when you think you should say yes…and there it is! Guilt.

And although Catholics and Jews alike may claim to have a monopoly on it, it seems there is plenty of guilt to go around no matter what religion you practice, or don’t practice.

So, can we eradicate guilt? Is there a way to just get rid of it once and for all, and live a truly guilt free life? You might be asking.

Well, not so fast, although I do want to show you how to alleviate guilt, I want your life to be almost guilt free. That is, I want to show you the wonderful and amazing hidden value of guilt.  And once you see what it is, you’ll be able to use the little bit of guilt you do experience to create absolute magic.

Guilt only serves one purpose, and no, it isn’t to hound you and make you feel like crap until you finally give in and do what you think you should do.

Truly the one useful purpose that we can find in those feelings of guilt is that they can show us our own personal value system.  And once we see what it is that we truly value we can usually find a way to honor that value without compromising our boundaries, our self-esteem, our decisions, and our freedom.

The first step to ending the feeling of guilt, or maybe I should say transforming the feeling of guilt is to ask yourself WHY you’re feeling guilty.  What value is attached to your ideas about the situation?

Once I had a conversation with a woman who was feeling really guilty. She had made a decision to stay at home for the day with her small children and just “do nothing”…and as soon as she had made this decision the phone rang. A friend needed her help NOW. The need her friend had was very real, and it was urgent, and now she was torn but decided to honor her original plan and stay home with her babies. The problem now was that she felt overwhelmed with guilt, she felt terrible for not saying yes to her friend.

When I asked her why she felt guilty about her choice she answered me like I was crazy for even asking.  What a silly question! Her answer to my silly question was, “Because a good friend should always be ready to drop everything to help out!”

You see, she has a very high value around being “a good friend”. We discussed what exactly makes “a good friend”, and once we had a few more moments of discussion she began to see that there were a lot of other ways she could show up as a good friend, and without compromising her decision to stay home, to be a good mom, and to be good to herself.

So, this thing that has got you feeling all guilty, what value is it attached to? Why do you think you should? or shouldn’t? And how can you honor that value without compromising your freedom, your choices, and your boundaries?

Once you answer those questions and begin to see how to honor those strong values you have, you’ll feel the guilt lift…just like magic.

That’s the happy surprise hiding in your guilty feelings.

You’ll feel relief. You’ll feel the power that comes from honoring your own personal values. You’ll be free.

Love & Magic,

Cindie

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We Are All Made of Stars

star-clusters-74052_640

Have you ever heard the term “spirit radio“?…you know when a song pops into your head and it just seems like the Universe is speaking to you?

This morning when I woke up I had these lyrics (from Moby) in my head:

“No one can stop us now, ’cause we are all made of stars.”

Those lyrics have a pretty strong message. It is an awesome thing to remember that we are made of star stuff, to recognize that the Universe itself exists within us.

(One thing led to another and now I can’t stop listening to this 3 minute mash-up by Symphony of Science featuring Neil deGrasse Tyson.)

Something that this triggered in my brain is the whole idea of competition. The energy of competition is not exactly the highest level of connection, actually it may be closer to disconnection. A higher, more anabolic level of energy would be cooperation, with the most anabolic level being collaboration.

I’m sure most of us can identify those areas in our own life and in our relationships, or at least in the world around us.  We see competition everywhere, cooperation is easy to see too (especially if we are looking for it) and less often but still pretty likely, collaboration.

Everyday, people and things compete for our time, our money, our loyalty, our attention.

But here is the thing that Moby’s song lyrics brought to mind for me this morning – There is NO competition in the realm of Spirit.

The idea of competition has a certain connection with scarcity mentality – “there isn’t enough for everyone” kind of thinking. On occasion it is true, for instance there is only one “First Place Winner” in a race. But in most areas it isn’t a useful frame of thinking. Especially when your goal is to create abundance, wealth, well-being, health, strong relationships, and anything else associated with anabolic energy.

Competition < Cooperation < Collaboration

Recently I had a conversation with a friend and she mentioned feeling really awful because someone had stolen her material. (Ouch! Not fun – and I do absolutely believe that we should protect our copyrighted material and take measures to safeguard any intellectual property that belongs to us – stealing other people’s ideas and work is not okay!!)

I also believe that our chosen beliefs can add to or take away from the emotional charge that we have in response to situations like this.

I related to her how when I started using the words “Magic” and “Magical” in my branding I also started noticing those words pop up in a lot of other people’s branding as well.  At first that felt uncomfortable.  OH NO!! My ego seemed to fear “competition.”  I quickly remembered a few key things:

1. I don’t own “Magic”.

2. My magic is never diminished by anyone else’s actions.

3. There is no competition in the realm of spirit. We are all made of stars. The more magic in the world the better.

The energy of competition is necessary at times, but so often we apply it when it is anything but useful.

Your potential is not limited by anyone else. You hold the keys to your own brilliance, your own magic, your own success.

When we step out of the energy of competition, and begin to move towards the energy of cooperation and collaboration we open up realms that cannot exist in a scarcity mentality. These realms that open are places are full of magic and possibility.

The sky’s the limit for us when we choose love instead of fear, when we choose cooperation and collaboration over competition. When we realize the Universe itself exists within us.

No one can stop us now, ’cause we are all made of stars.

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

P.S. Speaking of making magic and stepping into incredible energy…Be sure to listen to The Magical Summer audio class (for free!!) – this will also put you on the list so I can let you know when you can hop on board for round 2 (A Season of Magic coming this September). Round 3 coming Spring 2015.

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Enlightenment

Enlightenment.

It seems like an idea that much the world may not think about all that often. And if we do consider it, it might seem so huge and far out of reach that it just becomes a cliche, a cartoon.

Toy-Story-3-Aliens

Nirvana!

But it is said that there are only two symptoms of enlightenment:

1. You stop worrying

2. You experience more meaningful coincidence or synchronicities.

I don’t know about you, but I’m perfectly okay with leaving my worries behind. I happen to come from a long line of champion worriers so some of that habitual worrying was in my DNA, but I’m happy to let it go. (Sorry, Mom).

And having a life full of synchronicities is awesome beyond words. So yeah, enlightenment, let’s dig it out of the “that won’t ever happen” file and place it front and center on the “let’s get it done” list.

This past week I experienced some very cool synchronicities.  I’m still curious to how they will unfold and I wanted to make a record of them so I thought I’d put it here, for you, and for me – a sort of magical diary entry.

Here is how this  past week played out for me.

I’ve always been attracted to birds. They speak to me in some way, not in english or even in words but just by the way they interact. Just a sort of “knowing” I have, a connection. I’m open to what all of nature has to say, and I’m specifically very fond of birds. They are beautiful. And they can fly! The flying is enough to make me love them in and of itself, but so many times a bird has shown up in a significant moment, I’ve just grown to love them more and more, and to pay attention. I’ve often joked that I want to bring back augury as a valid spiritual practice. The registered name of my coaching business is Songbird Coaching.

cropped-blogheader.jpg

So, recently when I began thinking that maybe there was some other “power animal” out there calling to me, it almost felt like I was cheating on the birds. I mean, really, why in the world would I need a new power animal? And what the heck is a power animal anyway? (Seriously, I mean my birds are just my birds. But totem animals aren’t my area of expertise, so why do these thoughts keep nudging me, I’m busy planning a new class! Sheesh, stop it thoughts!)

But in the midst of those thoughts I opened an email from an online magazine that promotes female entrepreneurs, and on the cover was a woman named Emelie, who was a specialist on, yep you guessed it: Totem animals.

So I decided to sign up for information about her class on power animals. And as far as I knew the person teaching this workshop was a regular person with a regular person name, but when Emelie’s confirmation email came it was signed “FOXY” in big red letters.

foxyemeliepicketsignaturesnippet

Now, that in itself wouldn’t have made me take notice – but the very next email I opened in my inbox was from Catbird, the jewelry shop in Brooklyn. The email was for Ruby birthstone rings, and it said this:

foxybirthstones

Okay, Universe. I’m noticing. And I told a few people, and then I sort of forgot about it all for a few days. I’ve been working on the course content for a Magical Summer, (So I can teach you practical tools so you can have some more magic in your life, too!) so I was busy. I just didn’t have time right now to research foxes and totem animals and all of that.

Well, I might not think I have time, but apparently my inner, higher, wiser self decided to make time. Because then I had a dream that I found a baby black fox in a birdcage on my front door step. (“Really?, my dream self thought, “There are black foxes?”) Thank you, Google, for validating this fact.

BlackFox-1

In my dream, I brought the birdcage into the house and took out the baby fox. It was black, tiny, cute, and had ginormous ears. I thought maybe it was a stuffed animal because it was just SO cute and little. BUT…it had very sharp, long, shiny claws and it wanted to scratch around, a lot. So I decided to put it back into the cage because I didn’t want to get scratched. I then looked out on the front steps again and there was a HUGE powerful, majestic, beautiful LION.

And this is where the dream ended…but I was aware that someone was threatening to kill the lion, and in my dream I knew that it was just an idle threat.

I couldn’t stop thinking about this dream, and so I did what anyone would do, I posted it on facebook. *grin*

foxdreamsnip

and then 2 seconds later I clicked over to another Facebook group and saw that someone had posted a gorgeous painting…of three foxes. <OMG, seriously?>

MarrusArt

(And I just tracked down the artist, Marrus, so you can purchase this gorgeous painting here if you like.)

So I immediately asked one of my close friends, Catherine Adams, who is a terrific coach and is also the absolute Queen of Dream Interpretation to have a conversation with me about it.

Catherine had me embody the dream elements, speak as the dream elements (I am the birdcage, I am small, strong, protective!) to get a really good idea of what my dream was saying to me and then we pieced together the short dream again.

By the end of our call it sounded like this:
I opened myself up [birdcage], and I let out some playfulness, new energy and curiosity [fox]. This curiosity that showed up, it was great at listening [huge ears!]. I wasn’t even sure it was real, it was really cute and sweet…but it was also dark and a bit edgy and it sure liked to dig around a lot! So I decided to put it back inside because I didn’t want it to hurt me. I then looked again and there was a HUGE powerful, majestic, beautiful lion there too. And that strong beautiful lion made sure that I knew it was NOT going anywhere, was not going to die, it was steadfast…no matter how much digging around I did, no matter how edgy I got, no matter how curious I was. And all of those rumors that it was going to die if I opened up were just idle threats.

Right now I’m putting the finishing touches on The Magical Summer course. I’ve questioned if some of the material is too edgy.  This “message from the Universe” came just in time, don’t you think?

Right at this moment, as I’m typing this blog post, I took a little break to get some water and to check on my Facebook group The Love & Magic Salon. I happened to see a friend who makes jewelry taking a random survey asking “what is your ring size?” I quickly posted, 3.5. Then my notifications kept pinging with comments (Holy Hell!! 3.5?) so I commented that my pinky ring size was 1.5 – but then I thought I’d double check, and the only way I knew to do that (since it’s not like I just have a ring sizer laying around over here) was to go over to eBay and see what size the pinky ring was that I bought there a couple of years ago. I opened to “my purchases” and randomly scrolled back to 2012. The first auction I saw was a purchase my son made for Halloween 2012. It said, “Adult Sized Fox Mask”. 🙂

fantasticfoxsnip

Okay, Universe, I’m paying attention.

Truly, Magic is what happens when your inner world and your outer world collide in Love.  And I’m loving it.

What kind of magic has been going on in your life this week?

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

Note: After I finished editing this blog post I shut down my computer for the weekend, and left the house to run some errands. I had submitted a list of books to my local library, and a couple of them had come available and were waiting for me to pick up.  One of them was a book called The Way of the Shaman by Michael Harner.  I had forgotten about this one, but there it was and looking very well, um, loved.

wayoftheshamanbook

You can see by the picture that the cover is pretty much destroyed.  Upon thumbing the edge of the pages I discovered that there was one (and only one) chapter with a dog-eared corner mark.  The chapter title: Power Animals. LOL.  Love the Universe’s sense of humor!  That’s what I call Magic.

Note #2:

Update: July 9th I had awakened from the dream that I mentioned in this post. What I didn’t mention was a second dream – it was very short, and honestly sort of grossed me out. So of course, I let it go and focused on the “cooler” and “prettier” dream. In the shorter dream I had something in my throat, that felt like congestion and so I ran into the bathroom to spit it out in the sink. What I spit out instead was a huge dragonfly.

This morning I started reading The Way of the Shaman by Michael Harner (pictured above). Again, until this morning when I started reading I had little to no experience or knowledge about Shamanism. I didn’t know that “power animals” were part of Shamanism, and I knew zero about any specific Shamanistic practices besides knowing that “Shamans travel into ‘other worlds’ via altered states of consciousness with the intention of healing others.”

So this morning when reading about the Jivaro Shamans I was shocked to read that one of the oldest shamanistic rituals ends with the Shaman spitting an insect out of his mouth. LOL.  I think there may be some shamanic journeying in my future. And as long as I can do it without putting an insect in my mouth I’m cool with it. 😉

Posted in General, Magic, synchronicity | 8 Comments

How to Live a Magical Life

keyring

What is a “Magical Life”?

First let’s get straight about what it isn’t. Living a “Magical Life” does not mean that you never feel pain, get sick, experience hurricanes, accidentally kill your house plants, have a sick puppy, bad restaurant service, marital spats, the common cold, or see your computer crashing.

What it does mean is that along with all of the “ordinary” crap that goes on in this life, magical people worry a lot less, and experience miracles a lot more.

And while you are worrying less and miracling more, the ordinary crap doesn’t get you down quite as much. When things are not getting you down, you can rise to the top. Or at least “feel” like you’re on top. On top of things. And I think you’ll agree with me that feeling “on top of the world” is preferred to feeling “down in the dumps.”

So how does one become a Magical person? How does one come to live a “Magical Life”?

A big part of it is the choosing. I did not set out to be a Magician. But I did set out to find the “truth”. I did set out to choose my life (eventually).

At some point I was tired of being “down”, I was tired of unhealthy relationships, of poverty mentality, of worrying about everything, of faking it. I was tired of wishing and hoping that things were different.

And I knew there was more and better than what I was experiencing in my life.

I also, somehow, discovered that more and better were NOT going to fall out of the sky into my lap, but that it could be mine for the taking, if I knew where to look. If I had the key.

Or maybe I’d need lots of keys. Like somehow I needed to find a big ol’ jailer’s key ring to let me out of my own personal prison.

But, once I found one key they all seemed to just keep showing up. Here a key, there a key, everywhere a key key. (In the middle of all my discovering I also discovered that my surname actually translates to ‘keymaker’. ha!)

So, today I want to give you a couple of keys that you will want if you are determined to live a Magical Life.

First up – The Key of Universal Support. The absolute first key that opens the first door is the Key of Universal Support. This is something also known as Pronoia, which is the opposite of paranoia. Paranoia sounds like “everyone is out to get me” and Pronoia says “the Universe is always supporting me.” Once you truly believe that The Universe is Always Supporting You, you will not look at anything the same way. And remember, when you change the way you look at things, things change. Without getting into a deeply scientific discourse on quantum mechanics, Schrodinger’s Cat, and single photon interference, let’s just agree that reality (actual physical reality) changes up when we observe it. And how we observe things changes with our perspective of whether or not the Universe is supporting us.

Second up – The Key of Best. I really want you to remember this one. Because it also has the power to dramatically change your life for the better. The Key of Best is this belief: Everyone (including you) is doing the Best they can at any given time. Everyone. The Best. Everytime. So those things you are pissed off at him (or her, or them) about? They were doing their best. That thing you did that you regret?- at that moment, it was your best, if you could have made a better choice you would have. The End.

And what that means is that you can forgive. Yourself, and them. Go ahead. Forgiveness opens the door to abundance. Resentment and unforgiveness nail that door shut.

These first two keys are just the beginning. My life is magical and I want yours to be, too.

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

P.S. Want to make some magic together? Check out A Season of Magic…we begin in less than 2 weeks, and you can hear part 1 for free, just click the banner below for more details!

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featured image: Old Keys by Suat Eman freedigitalphotos.net

Posted in General | 6 Comments

How to Transform a Crappy Feeling

yuki_the_wonderpuppyYesterday, over in the Love & Magic Salon I asked my beautiful group, “What nice thing are you planning to do for yourself today?”

One of our members replied that she needed to forgive herself for feeling crappy, and then she added “Sorry to be such a downer.”

The truth is we all have days when we “feel crappy”…and NO forgiveness is necessary.

You might wonder WHY no forgiveness is necessary…it’s because your feelings are a miracle! ALL of them, even the ones that fall into the “crap” category. And let’s face it, we’ve ALL had those days.

But here is the deal – your feelings are your higher self’s way of speaking to you, they are your body’s way of speaking to you, they are your soul’s way of speaking to you, your heart’s way. Which is why I refer to your feelings as “the voice of love”.

You don’t need to “forgive yourself” for your feelings. You just need to honor yourself, and honor your feelings.

Our feelings are a direct result of our needs being met or unmet. When our needs are met we feel great! When our needs go unmet we feel, well – not so great. (Crappy).

So here is what I suggest Dear One if you’re feeling crappy:

1. Get quiet. Find a space/time where you can be still, quiet, and comfortable. Give yourself some time (at least half an hour). Give yourself some comfort, a cup of tea, a nice blankie, a cuddly puppy (my cuddly pup, Yuki, is featured in the photo – she is perfect for this so if you have one just like her go ahead and grab that pup). Now, just get comfortable.

2. Close your eyes and spend some time relaxing. Start at your head, relax your face, your neck, your shoulders, your back, etc. Work this relaxation process all the way down to your toes. Soft meditative music might be helpful.

3. Acknowledge how you are feeling and ask your inner self what is it she needs, without judgment. “I notice that you are feeling pretty crappy today. What do you need to feel better?”  It may be something much easier than you think.

4. Listen. Cry if you need to.  Give yourself permission to feel all of your feelings. Listen some more. 🙂

5. Act. Sometimes just the listening process is enough, because a lot of times our inner self is trying to get our attention but we just have a hard time slowing down enough to listen. If you get an answer that you can take action on, do it. Sometimes we just need some quiet time, other times we need to do something fun, or maybe your inner/higher/wiser self is bringing your attention to something you’ve been avoiding.  Reach out to a coach,counselor, or friend if you need support. We are wired for connection and community, and we ALL need
support sometimes.

Trust yourself, trust the process, and always honor your feelings and emotions.

Your feelings are a miracle – ALL of them.

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

P.S. I’ve got a FREE call coming up on July 8th that will help you even more! Click here to find out more!

 

 

Posted in General | 1 Comment

The Number One Reason You Need to Set Boundaries

tulips and fence - Satit Srihin - fdp

When a client shows up to a coaching session very happy with the fact that they have finally created a boundary or two I say BRAVO!! Good for you! Excellent work! YES!!

Most of the time we set a boundary because something is not working for us, and I want your life to work for you. So I thought I’d share a bit of the conversation that’s been happening lately.

I’m going to start with a really simple illustration that will help explain a few key ideas about boundaries.

This is a little story I used with some clients this week to get really clear about the how, why, and when of boundary setting.

Mary works from home and usually finishes up her workday around 6:30 in the evening. Down at the bottom of Mary’s hill there is an eatery that she really likes to visit nearly every day for dinner. The little bistro has a sign on the door that says “We Close at 7pm”.

Mary often gets there at 7:10 or 7:15…but if she knocks they come and unlock the door, greet her with a big smile and let her in.  And then they serve her something delicious.  It’s a wonderful place!

If the above scenario keeps happening Mary will most likely feel free to keep showing up after closing time. Because, “Why not?!”, she thinks,”They always open up for me (I must be special!)”

And behind the kitchen doors there is a lot of grumbling and complaining…because the owners and workers would like to be cleaning and closing up and instead they are preparing food for Mary. They are in that space of tolerating Mary’s late arrivals, over and over, and they are doing it with a big smile).

(Here is a hint for you – are you grumbling and complaining about someone’s behavior? and maybe smiling the whole time?)

Even though the bistro has a sign that says they close at 7, they don’t hold to it, it’s a weak boundary and Mary doesn’t pay much attention to it.

Now…here is the thing (that invisible thing that keeps popping into my head lately!) – the boundary they’ve set (closing at a certain time) is to help them create the life they want (they want to be done with serving customers by 7, they want to finish up their work day and go home, they want to have time in the evening to have a life outside of their restaurant work). THESE are the reasons for creating the boundary – NOT to create a different behavior in Mary.

Do you see the difference? Yes, if they stop opening the door when Mary arrives after 7 she will probably stop arriving late, because she won’t be getting what she is coming down there for, so yes, her behavior will most likely change, but that is not the intention of a good boundary.

In fact, if I set a boundary with an intention to change someone else’s behavior, the boundary won’t really be able to serve me, because I’ve just attached the happiness/comfort/safety/whatever I’m trying to create (the success of my boundary) to someone else’s behavior, which is something I cannot control.

In our example above, if the intention is to get customers to stop coming after 7, then every time a customer knocks on the door after 7 we will feel frustrated that our boundary has failed. However if the boundary is created to protect our time/space/energy after 7 so we can use it as we choose (cleaning and closing the restaurant and having a life) then we have succeeded.

The boundary must be set (and made strong by our willingness to uphold it through action) with the intention that it supports us in creating the life we want. It releases us from tolerating something that we don’t want.

The number 1 reason to create a boundary is to support you in getting your needs met. Because when your needs are met (physical, emotional, financial) your life works better. You feel better. You start seeing more Magic happen. (Seriously)

Your boundaries are there to serve you, not to change someone else.

When we have weak boundaries all kinds of things come into our space. Things that bother us, irritate us, harm us, frustrate us, etc. Then we proceed to “tolerate” these things.

In fact, tolerating crap things, is the number one symptom that lets you know you have weak boundaries.

Something I’ve told my clients (and myself) over and over is this:

I’ve helped lots of people set boundaries and I’ve taught the basic boundary setting steps before here and here.

But, it’s the INTENTION we have when we set a boundary that is so extremely important. Anyone who has worked with me or read my blog or hangs out over at The Love & Magic Salon, KNOWS that I’m an intention setting ninja. I believe that intentions have POWER.

The outcome you really want to see plays a huge part in determining your success. And most of the time it is something below the surface, something unspoken, something I’ve had to dig around to find. (OH! So you’re wanting him (her, them, it) to change? Well then, no wonder you’re struggling!)

Here are a few tips to support you to create strong boundaries, with the intention that will give you a much better chance of success.

1. Know why you want to create them, and what you want to create ultimately (remember, your boundaries are about YOU getting YOUR needs met, NOT a tool to get someone else to change their behavior.)

2. What are you tolerating, and what would you like instead?

3. Know what you will do to make your boundaries strong – a boundary needs to be more than just verbal, there needs to be action involved.

4. Know what you will do if the boundary is crossed or tested (because I guarantee it will be).

5. Choose these things wisely, create your boundaries only as strong as you are willing to keep them.

Strong boundaries are a big key to you living a life full of Love & Magic.

And let me know in the comments section what you enjoyed most about these ideas!

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

P.S. Setting Boundaries is an Act of Love 🙂

Posted in Coaching, Conscious Communication, Conscious Creation, General, Personal Growth, relationships | 10 Comments