Sparkle, Shine, and Bloom

Shine

Happy New Year!!

Have you chosen a theme for this bright shining new year?

I’ve chosen an annual theme for the past 5 years or so, and it has been such a powerful thing to do that I wanted to be sure to discuss it with you…because I want your life to be powerful, and brilliant, and magical…and whatever you choose it to be.

A few years ago I chose the theme “Authenticity and Expansion”. When faced with a decision that year I would remember to ask myself, “Does this feel authentic?” or “How will this expand my business/relationships/etc.?”  I started a blog that year, and with it, a business that was an authentic reflection of my gifts, talents, and passions. I traveled a lot. I met a lot of wonderful people. I remembered to consistently be true to myself in the process and I experienced a whole new level of personal growth.

The following year I chose the theme Love & Magic.  That year I met my Handsome Sweetheart, and I also began to experience magic and miracles in my life on pretty much a daily basis…and you know what? I loved that theme so much and it felt so authentic to me that I decided it is probably my LIFE theme.

Last year my theme was “Fun & Creativity”. This allowed me the space to have fun. Many times last year I gave myself permission to have fun, to play, to relax, to let go, to spend as much time as I wanted creating.  I created some new things for my business, but I also made art, spent time knitting, crocheting, sketching, writing poetry, and playing. As an entrepreneur I can sometimes feel guilty if I’m having “too much fun”, or if I’m “not working hard enough”. Yeah, I know…those old belief systems can be tricky to shake sometimes. And this is exactly one of the reasons why having a yearly theme is such a good idea.

Believe me, your life experience changes quite a bit when your decision making question for the year is something like, “Will this be fun?” [wink]

So last year I had A LOT of fun (and I liked it!! so it has become part of my way of life – playing for the sake of play, no justification other than just plain fun!)

This year I was musing over what my theme would be. I just kept hearing words in my head like Sparkle and Shine and Bloom.

Hmmmmm, that sounds a little silly. I mean hey, I LOVE those words but we are talking about my YEARLY THEME here. Bad enough that last year I just wanted to build a whole year around FUN. But now…SPARKLE? Sheesh.  Maybe it’s just that I got caught up watching The Tudors and became obsessed with Anne Boleyn’s Sparkly Hair Thingies.  I mean, I admit it…I love glitter.  I can totally get distracted by something shiny.  My logical brain kept suggesting that maybe I was missing the mark this time.

But it just wouldn’t go away. And then…I get invited to write for a new online publication…and as I’m perusing the monthly themes for the year I see the theme for one of the months is “Sparkle and Shine”. Oy.

Then at least 5 more times in the next 24 hours the word SHINE appeared in an email or an ad or something that was right in front of my face. HELLO!!!

So…without further delay I have decided (or perhaps the Universe has decided for me) that my theme for 2014 will be Sparkle, Shine, and Bloom.

What do those ideas really mean? Well…I intend on allowing myself to be as full of LIGHT as possible this year. I want to totally up my amps. I want to positively glow and SHINE with the light of LOVE. I want to allow new gifts to blossom, and the gifts I use well to come into full BLOOM. I intend on being fully OPEN.

Will having this theme guarantee that I will indeed Sparkle? And Shine? And Bloom?

Not completely.

I realize that I will occasionally fail to feel lit up. I will certainly have moments of darkness. I will occasionally feel more like a wilted daisy than a fully opened blossom. I will have days when all I want to do is close up. I know this. I’m human.

But I will also have a goal, a measure, a standard, a guide. When I am faced with a decision I will ask…”How will this help me to Sparkle & Shine?” “How will this help my business/relationships/health blossom, and come into full bloom?”

And I know that if I remember to always let Love be my North Star, my guiding principle, I will indeed have success.

I’d love to hear what you’ve chosen for your theme this year. And if you haven’t chosen a theme, take a minute to get quiet and listen to what your heart is saying to you. Having a theme is a wonderful, powerful, way to create a life that you truly love.

Shine on!!

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

 

 

 

Photo Credit: gualberto107 
Posted in Coaching, Conscious Creation, General | 9 Comments

You are a Blessing

sunset over lsu lakes

Today, I’m counting my blessings, and my blessings include you. (Did you know you are a blessing?)

As the sun begins to set on 2014, we begin to look at the coming year as a new day, a new dawn, a new chance to rock the world, a fresh start.  And all week I’ve been working in my 2014 planner (OMG I love this planner!) but before diving in to plan 2014 I’ve been taking stock of, and celebrating 2013.

I’ve spent some time remembering what I’ve experienced this year, remembering all of the reasons I have to be grateful. There were so many things that I had forgotten about until I got intentional about remembering them all – the victories as well as the defeats.

The wonderful opportunities as well as the snafus and frustrations. And it was such a powerful thing to take a look at the past year and just remember that I decided to write a short post for you, to remind you…

I want to remind you that when things hurt, when times are hard, when you feel discouraged, that there is a gift in that experience – don’t give up! Keep looking for the treasure. Keep loving yourself, keep on keeping on – you are powerful. Remember that time when you totally rocked it, when you got it, when you nailed it, when you wanted to shout from the rooftops that you made it! Remember your victories.

When you are struggling, when you have to make a difficult decision, when your heart is breaking, Remember that this too shall pass.

Remember that there are no mistakes. Remember how much power you have within yourself. Remember that you are a glorious, splendid, wondrous, brilliant being. I mean BRILLIANT – You are made of star stuff, you are made of Love.

And when you are feeling relief, when you are feeling happiness, when your heart wants to break open for joy, when you can’t stop laughing, when you are smiling, when you catch a glimpse of your own sparkle, beauty, strength, and power…when you feel loved, accepted, and unafraid – remember to CELEBRATE!

Remember to play full out, to say YES, to be authentic, to allow yourself to be vulnerable, to trust the process, to listen to your body, to make powerful intentions.

Remember that the Universe is always supporting you.

And remember, you are a blessing.

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

Posted in General | 18 Comments

Good Intentions

sprout

“Intentionality”, technically I’m not sure that is a word but yesterday a client said this word popped into her head during our session.  So, it’s a word now.

Since the previous client I had spoken with just an hour earlier sparked a huge discussion on intention, hearing this excited me.  And it often goes this way…a rush of clients that are all bringing up the same themes and ideas – and that always causes me to take notice!

So I thought today I would continue the discussion here with you, because apparently it is a trending topic now. (wink)

What are your intentions?  Right now?  And why am I asking?

I’m asking because everything starts with intention.  We literally create our whole world with our intentions – consciously or otherwise, and I SO would rather be creating consciously. Our intentions are the invisible seeds that grow into the garden of our experiences.

A few years ago I was teaching a workshop, and I always start a workshop with an exercise in setting intention.  Very simply, I ask my participants to write across the top of the page “My intention for this workshop is: _______.” A week or so after this particular workshop had ended I got a wonderful testimony from one of the participants who told me that the simple exercise of setting that intention was a powerful idea for her daily life and that since then she was setting an intention for all kinds of activities.  She reported all sorts of amazing shifts that were happening for her because of this one practice.

The world is busy, our lives are busy, it is easy to rush through much of a day on auto-pilot, sometimes day after day. My Handsome Sweetheart calls this “later, rinse, repeat”. We can easily miss the opportunities we have every moment to be mindful by setting an intention for any given thing, really, anything.

For instance, the discussion with my client yesterday was centered on self-care.

Just like everything else, your self-care starts with intention.  Here is an area where intention setting can be a powerful practice for you.  You don’t have to run out and get a massage or an expensive pedicure to be participating in self-care.  But when you drink your next glass of water, or put your make-up on, or wash your hair, or brush your teeth (I’m choosing these things because I am making the assumption that you do them fairly often *wink*)…do it with intention.

Do these simple things with the mindfulness that you are caring for yourself, loving yourself, nurturing yourself.

When you begin to do these everyday acts with the intention of self-love, of self-care, you automatically begin to increase your self-respect and your self-worth.

When our self-respect and self-worth are strong, the world around us begins to treat us with respect too.  The Universe seems to show up differently for us when we care for and respect our self.  We feel better.  We experience more opportunities.  We have more fun.  We have less stress.

And it all starts with intention.  With mindfulness.

You can begin the practice of intention setting in any area you like.  Setting an intention for each day is a wonderful practice.  “I intend to be productive”, or “I intend to have fun”, or “I intend to learn something new today.”  The possibilities are huge.

What about setting an intention for the next conversation you have, the next time you go errand running, or the next date you go on?

You are a powerful, creative being, and the experience you create begins with intention.

What are your intentions for today?

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

2014 Amazing Life and Biz Workbooks and Planners!P.S. Speaking of good intentions…I’m intending on knocking 2014 out of the park! I’ve already started planning a year covered in awesome sauce…and this is the planner I’m using to do it.  Click on the image to your left and go grab yourself a copy right now!

 

Posted in General | Leave a comment

You are Qualified

heartlock“Something amazing happens when we surrender and just love. We melt into another world, a realm of power already within us. The world changes when we change. the world softens when we soften. The world loves us when we choose to love the world.”  ~Marianne Williamson

The above beautiful quote mentions the idea of “melting into another world, a realm of power…”

In contrast to this “melting into a realm of power” idea…I sometimes deal with people who are “having a meltdown.”  NOT the same thing. Thankfully, it is not a daily or even weekly occurrence, but occasionally a client arrives at our session frazzled, overwhelmed, upset, or maybe a friend or family member will call in the midst of an emotional crisis or need help sorting out a painful situation that has them at their wit’s end.  I have some experience in dealing with meltdowns.

Occasionally the person having the meltdown is me.

Last week was one of those occasions.  I had a series of small things happen and the combination of them felt overwhelming and unsettling.  I was uncomfortable and felt like everything was falling apart.  (You’ve been there at least a few times in this lifetime, yes?)

I was pulling out all of my magic tricks to fix the problem, but I needed help.  I realized that the situation that had me in such distress was not the real issue.  The real issue was me.  I recognized that to be feeling so shitty uncomfortable was the result of my needs not being met.  But I had not yet really figured out WHAT needs weren’t met, or WHY this was effecting me in such huge way.

I reached out and asked my Handsome Sweetheart for help sorting it all out.  I explained what was going on, how I was feeling, and asked him to help me figure out what it was I needed.  (easy peasy, right?)

Now, you realize that anyone who lives with me hears my “stuff” all the time, they HEAR the stories of transformation that I’m honored to facilitate and humbled to witness with my clients, they SEE a near constant stream of miracles, magic, amazing synchronicities, and serious life-shifting stuff going on over here.  They see me at my best (The Magical Mentoring Life-Shifting Miracle-Working Empress) and occasionally they see me at my worst (The Overwhelmed, Melted Down, Confused, Frantic little girl).

Hopefully when you think of me you are generally picturing the former. 😉

So…knowing firsthand the super-powers that I often exhibit, my Handsome Sweetheart replied to my request for support by saying: “I want to help, but I don’t feel qualified.”

My reply to him was “The Qualification is Love.”

I really meant it.  And today, this idea came up for me again while mentoring an amazing coach.  She was asking for advice, she had a client who admitted to being “in a very, very bad place.”  She felt out of her league, like maybe her expertise in coaching wasn’t quite what this client was needing.  She felt like her qualifications weren’t enough in this case. I have no problem with referring a client to a therapist, counselor, or doctor…and have done it myself when necessary.

And, I reminded my client that the qualification is Love.

Love is what qualifies us to reach out, to offer support, to listen, to open our hearts, to pray, to speak kind words, to understand, to empathize, to sympathize, to relate to another human being.  Love.

As human beings we don’t have to give advice when it isn’t asked for, we don’t have to have all the right strategies and answers for everyone else, we don’t have to be the expert in whatever it is that would heal someone in order to be a part of someone’s support system. You don’t have to be the whole support team.  Just be the part that you are qualified for – your qualification is Love.

All of the other alphabet soup after your name, all of those phenomenal tools and tricks and learnings and knowings that earned you your own powerful medley of qualifications are secondary to the most powerful thing that qualifies you to help and support someone, even yourself.  The first and foremost thing that qualifies you is Love.

Years ago when I was in coaching school my relationship coaching instructor told me of a fabulous quote that was one of her favorites, “Listening is so close to loving you can hardly tell the difference.” (unknown author)

That idea made a powerful impact on me.

So the other day when I felt like I was on the edge of a meltdown and asked my Handsome Sweetheart for support in figuring it out,  I really just needed to be heard (and of course he did a wonderful job listening and hearing me, because he is wonderful and powerful and because he loves me.)

And sometimes the experience of overwhelmy-frantic-meltdown happens because I stop listening to myself.  I can be so good at pushing my own thoughts and needs aside for now.  Letting them wait.  Doing one more thing first.  And then…those inner voices get louder.  When they all get louder at once it feels like a meltdown.  And all I really need to do is to get quiet enough to listen to myself…to love myself.

The next time someone you love is in a dark place, struggling with difficult emotions, feeling overwhelmed, heading for a meltdown…reach out and just offer what you are qualified to offer…give them Love. Listen to them.  Even when that someone is yourself.

Because listening is so close to loving you can hardly tell the difference.  And Love is the qualification.

Love & Magic,

 Cindie

 

Posted in General | 5 Comments

Healing

woman_jumping

Recently I surveyed my mailing list, and one of the questions I asked was  “What is your biggest challenge right now?”

The second biggest challenge for those who responded was “health issues.” (Numero Uno was “career path” – which I will address in another post in the near future.)

Today, I’m writing specifically to those of you who are challenged right now with health issues.  Maybe you have long term health issues, maybe you just have a sore throat or a head cold.  Doesn’t matter.  This is for you.

The intention of this post is to support you in moving towards healing – not to place blame.  Consciousness requires that we take responsibility for our own health and our own experience.  Blame is not part of the equation.  So regardless of the root cause of the health issue you are experiencing, there are actions that can move you away from “dis-ease” and towards an experience of less suffering.

Here is the thing that I want to bring into focus.

There is no healing without Love.

In ancient Greece there were temples dedicated to the God of Healing, Asclepius.  His daughters were Hygieia (the Goddess of Cleanliness), Iaso (the Goddess of Recuperation), Aegle (the Goddess of Beauty and Splendor), and Panacea (The Goddess of Universal Remedy) —but in these temples there were often also shrines to Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love.  Because although we can tend to rest, recuperation, hygiene, beauty and remedies – there is no healing without Love.

We are holistic beings, and everything effects everything else.

When our bodies hurt it affects our emotions, when our heart is broken it can affect our physical health, when we stuff our emotions our bodies end up suffering…everything affects everything else.

When we’ve been hurt and hold unforgiveness towards those who have wounded us, our own bodies, emotions, spirit and mental health suffer.  An expression that comes to mind is “holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

Forgiving someone for hurting us sets us free. Forgiving is for us.

Love allows us to forgive. Love allows us to heal.

And Love is something we choose, something we decide upon.

Love is a quality that has immense power, and the power of a quality manifests in the action of that quality.

The power of Love comes via loving acts – self-love included.

The power of Truth comes when we are honest – with our selves as well as others.

The power of Peace comes when we lay down our weapons and our grudges.

The power of Compassion is made manifest in our acts of kindness.

And the power in our actions of self-care (in this case the things we are doing to promote our healing) is magnified many times over when our self-care in infused with self-LOVE.

Our body’s propensity is to heal.  You may be doing everything you can to support your body and promote healing – keep doing the things that support you.  I had a serious health crisis of my own, and although it was 2 decades ago, I still vividly remember the frustration of doing everything I knew to do and not finding relief.  It’s frustrating.  Don’t give up.  Infuse your self-care with LOVE.

You are made of Love, worthy of Love, capable of Love…there is so much Love for you in the world. Your heart, mind, soul, body, spirit are all parts of a beautiful miracle that is you.

My wish is that we all open even more to the Love that is available all around us. That we tap into the enormous power of Love by seeking it, showing it, embracing it, and that the Love you share with others and with yourself will support you in the healing of your body and the healing of our planet.

We will bathe in magic water and will allow the sun to dry our skin. We will close our eyes and take in new light. We will listen to the whispering counsel of angels.

We will look at each other with the eyes of the new. We will honor each other with the crown of the sky. We will touch each other with the touch of the earth.

And love will be our medicine. God will smile, and we will smile, and the world itself will become more glad.”

Come with me. I want to show you love.” ~Marianne Williamson

You are loved.

Love & Magic (and healing!),

Cindie

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in General | 6 Comments

Q&A: On Vulnerability and Hurt Feelings…

How to Heal a Broken Heart

Today I’m going to do my level best to answer a question from a reader, and I’m going to do it by telling part of my own story.

The question, in a nutshell, is about how to “keep” the vulnerability, the sensitivity, without feeling hurt all of the time.

First of all, remember that there are no mistakes, there is only human experience. We deny our vulnerability because we don’t want to hurt. We may try to develop a hard shell or put a wall up because we are attempting to avoid  feeling hurt, being disappointed, heartbreak.

So here is where my story might be helpful. It also might not be totally what you want to hear right now, especially if you are hurting.

I was involved in an emotionally abusive relationship for more than 2 decades. I have some pretty serious experience with being hurt, deeply, and consistently. My experience then also extends to making myself nearly invulnerable. A hard shell (with a soft smile – no one needed to actually see that I was putting up a wall of defense). I decided that I wouldn’t let myself be hurt, I would be strong, invincible. I would NOT be vulnerable. Looking back, I realize that this seemed to make the pain even worse. The excruciating pain of wanting something (a healthy relationship) so badly, and not seeing any way it would ever happen.

Eventually, my marriage ended in a nasty divorce, and my own “decision” to not allow myself to be vulnerable kept me from seeking the support I so desperately needed.

It was painful.  I finally did  reach out for support from a wonderful group of friends and family, I did A LOT of personal work, and I did finally heal from the pain. It took time. More than 2 years. I tell my story of exactly what I did to heal in this post.

And after I healed is where my story becomes really useful in answering the question: “How do I keep the sensitivity and vulnerability of my spirit, without feeling hurt all of the time?”

As I healed I blossomed. I opened. I began to really, truly, LOVE my life. I felt so alive. So happy. I was living with intention, being authentic, and it felt magical. I had found my path, knew my purpose, and was amazed at how beautiful my life was becoming every single day. I felt whole, and because of that I felt I was ready for a relationship. An awesome relationship, of course, and this time I knew what that really meant.

I met a wonderful man. I fell in love. Everything was completely magical. And then…it happened. We had a small disagreement. I cried. We made up. I was okay.  The world didn’t end.  😉

And then a few weeks later…I got hurt again. This time there was NO reasonable or logical excuse for it, it was a total misunderstanding. I KNEW I was “making a mountain out of a molehill” but there it was, I felt wounded. It was a small thing. In fact, it was something that wouldn’t even have bothered most people and yet something got triggered in me and there I was feeling completely torn up about it. Feeling so hurt over something so stupid then had me questioning everything…why am I suddenly being totally petty? This was so unlike anyone I wanted to be. I honestly questioned whether I could do this ‘relationship thing’. (Not a comfortable question to be asking yourself when you are a relationship coach!)

I was wondering “WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!”

I remember standing in my closet, hanging up a sweater and feeling so frustrated about my own emotions, asking myself WHY was I so sensitive? I felt so vulnera…uh oh.

Then it hit me. This vulnerability that was allowing me to feel heartache was the very same vulnerability that was allowing me to feel so seen, so heard, so loved, so connected.

And MY vulnerability and sensitivity were also the very things that allowed my Sweetheart to be open to me, to be honest and real and authentic and vulnerable with me. I remember the epiphany-like realization that I needed to decide now whether it was worth it, because I knew I could not have one without the other.

Was the risk of a broken heart worth the magic of true love?

Was feeling hurt over an occasional misunderstanding worth feeling the thrill of deep, pure connection?

My answer was, and is, an unequivocal YES.

Misunderstandings and miscommunications are inevitable in a new relationship. These things happen because we don’t yet know each other well, and they are the very things that enable us to know each other better. These experiences are the very things that give us practice in responding in a conscious way, in Being who we want to Be.  Our intimate relationships are the clearest mirror we have to show us who we are, and sometimes it feels uncomfortable, sometimes it can hurt.

But here is the thing…you do not have to “feel hurt all of the time.” You can certainly allow yourself to open, to be vulnerable, to be sensitive and to allow those qualities to support you in connecting, in loving yourself and others, and in becoming stronger emotionally.

If you are in a place where you are feeling hurt all of the time it’s time to figure out why. Basically when we feel hurt (or any other uncomfortable unwanted feeling or emotion) it is because we have a need that is not being met.

What is the unmet need you have that is causing you pain right now?

Your feelings are a miracle. All of them. They are there to guide you into the fullest most joyful expression of your unique path and purpose.

Being open, honest, vulnerable are the very qualities that allow you to feel – and your feelings let you know what it is you need.  Allow yourself to express that need, and meet that need. Be open, honest, and vulnerable with yourself first. Get actively involved in knowing yourself and loving yourself. Find your healing. Healing your broken heart will allow you to find freedom, and wholeness.

And if you haven’t seen Brene Brown’s TED talk on vulnerability…check it out. It’s powerful and profound (and I have all of my private clients watch it!).

You are precious, and you can find freedom from heartache.

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

Posted in Coaching, Conscious Creation, Personal Growth, relationships | 11 Comments

When it’s Time for a Change

lizard brain

If you keep telling yourself that you want something (better job, more money, new boyfriend, better relationship, best selling book, a nicer home, yada yada yada) and you don’t have it yet…you could blame it on your brain.

Well, actually, a little tiny part of your brain (really, the size of a lima bean!) affectionately referred to as the “lizard brain.”

The lizard brain is the most primal part of our brain, and it is very concerned that we get fed, have sex, and stay safe. And it is powerful. And it Does. Not. Like. Change. At all.

Famed family therapist Virginia Satir once said that “Most people think the will to survive is the strongest instinct in human beings, but it isn’t. The strongest instinct is to keep things familiar.”

That instinct to keep things familiar is primarily how lizard brain manages our survival. We may want to ask “Why on earth would we want to keep things familiar if familiar means we never have quite enough money, we are tolerating a crappy (maybe even abusive) relationship, or we are experiencing less than optimal health, or any other ‘familiar thing‘ that is basically keeping us miserable??

Why do we say we want something and then sabotage the fulfillment of it?

Because we are familiar with the status quo and we know we can survive it.

Our lizard brain knows that even though our current situation sucks, it hasn’t killed us. So we are willing to do it again, and again and again, instead of trying something new. Because that new thing? It’s not familiar, it might not be safe, and it might kill us.

Silly? Probably, but hey, it’s how we’re made.

So if you’re feeling it is time for a change, if you keep saying you want something and yet find yourself staying in that same familiar place, here are a few ideas to get that old lizard brain to quiet down a bit.

Drive home a different route, wear a different color of lipstick, make a new friend, eat some exotic food you’ve never tried, take the stairs…DO something different.  If you want to do something very, very gentle you could blow bubbles.

In the process you will be teaching that lizard brain that you CAN survive change. It will get easier, and you will get closer to creating what it is you really want.

Love & Magic

Cindie

 

Posted in General | 9 Comments

Do You Believe in Magic?

Zan_Zig_performing_with_rabbit_and_roses,_magician_poster,_1899-2

Do you believe in magic?

What comes to mind for you when you hear the word “magic”, or “magical”?

When I was a little girl my father promoted a band called The Lovin’ Spoonful, and they had a hit song called “Do you believe in Magic?”  Whenever I hear that song it makes me smile, first because it is nostalgic for me, and secondly because I can answer that question with a “full body YES!!”

Recently I posted a Facebook status that simply said, “I believe in Magic”, and apparently so do quite a few other people, because that status got more than a few “likes”.

I’m sure your definition of magic is unique, and I’m also pretty certain that most of the time when people describe something as “magical” it is because it felt wonderful, it was awe inspiring, it was indescribable, it seemed effortless, and it had qualities that were surreal, surprising, and even wondrous. Would you be okay with creating some magic of your own?

In my world, “magic” shows up as synchronicities, serendipity, miracles, and meaningful coincidences.

According to vedantic philosophy, enlightenment has only 2 symptoms: 1. You stop worrying.  And 2. You experience more meaningful coincidence.

I not saying that I’ve reached enlightenment, but I will say that I’ve made an intention to move in that direction. I’m on the path to enlightenment.  It isn’t always a smooth path, sometimes it’s a hard climb.  I still find myself worrying at times.  And, I experience meaningful coincidence, miracles, or “magic”,  on a regular basis.

There are some things that will bring the search for enlightenment to a screeching halt…or at least a slow crawl, such as judging and labeling.

We live in a culture that judges and labels everything.  We do it automatically. And yet, our level of consciousness is directly related to our lack of judging.

So, if we equate magic with enlightenment, and enlightenment with a higher state of consciousness, then the more judging we do, the less magic we experience.  Simple.

This judgment thing can show up when we are recognizing what we perceive to be someone else’s failures or shortcomings, as well as our own – very often our own.  Self-judgment can sometimes become a continuous stream of background noise that we try to ignore even when it may be creating serious havoc in our lives.

It’s the “I’m not good enough” voice.  The Gremlin that is always pointing out our flaws, the “inner critic” that keeps trying to persuade us that we’ll never make it.   It’s the part of us that keeps comparing our insides to everyone else’s outsides.  (You know…like thinking someone else has a much better life experience than we do because of what we see of them on Facebook.)

In fact, my own inner critic got really loud when I wanted to start talking about my own magic and how it shows up.  “People won’t ‘get it’, they won’t get you”, said the Gremlin.

I got really curious as to why I was feeling that way.  I realized that it just came from fear, as does most (if not all) judging.  I was afraid of rejection, of losing subscribers, of offending someone, of coming off as some kind of wacko.

And then I realized that if I want to step into my power, I had to stop feeling guilty for being powerful, I had to stop being fearful of what people might think and just own it. And owning it meant taking some kind of meaningful action, so I created my new about page.

So, today I want to remind myself, and you, of the tool that will help you create some magic in your life…the tool called Curiosity.

The next time you hear yourself judging yourself or someone else,  get curious instead.

Making the curious sound, “Hmmmm?” (Think Yoda) will immediately change  your neural activity and alleviate worry and catabolic energy (at least momentarily!), because it is impossible to worry or judge and be curious at the same time.

Whether the judging that’s coming up is self-judgment or just a habit of judging others, just for today get curious instead.  See what happens.

To quote Ram Dass “Let’s trade in all our judging for appreciating. Let’s lay down our righteousness and just be together.”

Let’s get curious, and then see what we can instead appreciate about ourselves, about others, about this magical place where we live and grow as we travel towards enlightenment.

We’re all in this together, we’re all human, and it’s all perfect.

Love & Magic (and lot’s of curiosity),

Cindie

 

Posted in General | 15 Comments

Making it Happen the Easier Way

blue butterfly

What do you really want right now? What is it that you can’t stop desiring, thinking about, dreaming about?

And how do you plan to bring it to pass?

So often that big “how” is what stops us in our tracks. The dreaming part is easy, figuring out the “how” feels like work. Not as much fun. Not as light and fluffy. We can often picture the dream in clarity, and yet the how seems confusing, foggy, unclear.

There are a few things that need to happen if you want that fantasy to become reality.  In the words of one of my mentors, Hiro Boga, “The difference between a fantasy and a manifestation is focused intention, alignment, will and purposeful action.”

Ah yes, purposeful action.  So just what gets us to the place of actually taking that purposeful action? What drives us? And what exactly can we do to make it easier?

One of my favorite ideas is “Doing is work, being is effortless.”

This is where inspiration comes in. When we become inspired the how becomes part of the magic making process, instead of just another chore on the long to-do list.

There is a very clear difference between inspiration and motivation. So often those two words get used interchangeably, and yet they are definitely not the same thing.

Motivation is often attached to avoiding a consequence we don’t want. “I’m motivated to work hard because I’m trying to keep my boss off my back.” or “I’m motivated to exercise because I don’t want to put those 10 pounds back on.” Sort of a bit like shame based self-management, our inner voice telling us that we are a big loser if we don’t do this thing.

And sure, motivation has it’s place. We often know what we don’t want before we get clear about what we do want. And when we want to steer clear of a particular consequence, motivation can be a big help. This is the caterpillar squeezing out of that cocoon because he can’t take being cooped up in there for one more second.

But the real magic happens when we tap into inspiration, when we allow ourselves to be inspired. And inspiration is generally attached to an outcome we desire, as opposed to a consequence we want to avoid.

When we become inspired we suddenly find extra time, extra energy, extra money, extra stamina…whatever it is we need to bring the dream into reality. This is the caterpillar squeezing out of that cocoon because he wants to fly!

Do you want to fly? What is the positive outcome you desire?

Picture it in detail, feel would it will be like when you have it, let it inspire you to focus your intention and take some purposeful action.  Turn that fantasy into a manifestation.

And one more hint, don’t wait on inspiration, inspiration is waiting on you. You got this.

Dream Big.

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

P.S. If you’d like some help making it happen, consider a Virtual VIP Day with me.

Butterfly Image courtesy of Christian Meyn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Posted in General | 1 Comment

Do You Have What You Need?

wants_needs

Have you ever had one of those days or weeks when you ran out of just about everything all at once?  The never-ending-grocery-store-list kind of day?

How about a time when it felt like everything needed fixing or replacing at once?  Sometimes big things – the car breaks down or needs new tires, a major appliance decides to quit working, your computer crashed and now your cell phone won’t turn on. Sheesh.

I think we’ve all had these types of experiences. “When it rains, it pours!” So the saying goes.

A few weeks ago I had a similar realization on a smaller scale, but it had a huge impact on me.

My bathrobe tore at the top seam as I hung it up.  The day before I had been folding laundry and recognized that I really needed to replace some most of the things I was folding.  And then that got me to thinking about a few other things that needed fixing or replacing, some of them much bigger than a torn bathrobe. Then I felt myself creating a long list of things that I “needed” to take care of… and suddenly…aha moment.

I realized that at least 6 months ago I saw a bathrobe that I really loved, but I didn’t buy it because I didn’t really “need” it…and that thought led to a deep dive into my experience of “wants vs. needs”.

As a young child growing up my sister and I were raised by a single mom. As an adult I now recognize how hard Mom worked to make ends meet.  We always had what we needed, but not always the extra things that weren’t necessities. I’m sure that was the beginning of my thinking that it was okay to have something if I “needed” it, but otherwise, I didn’t really feel okay about asking for it.  Asking for something that I didn’t need would have caused my mother more stress, and as an eager to please six-year-old, I did not want to cause my poor mom any more stress.

How many times have you wanted something and then told yourself or someone else that you don’t really need it? Or maybe you decided it was okay to ask for it for your birthday or some other special occasion, but not today, not just on an ordinary day.  How many times have you felt guilty for wanting something (or buying something) because it wasn’t a necessity?   And yet, who in the world wants to live a life where all they ever have is the bare necessities?  I certainly don’t. And I certainly didn’t want my children to just barely have their needs met either!

I’m thankful that I am not living in that place now, of only having the bare necessities – but the realization that a belief from when I was a child is still impacting me and my choices even in a small way packed a big punch.

So, (once again!), I’ve discovered an INNER belief system that has had a big impact on my OUTER experience.

The question that I asked myself was this: If I can only have what I NEED, what outer conditions will I create to get it?  The answer was NEEDINESS. As in, now that my bathrobe is ripping at the seams I can replace it and feel okay about it.  Blech.  (Let that sink in.)

Now, I am not advising you to just get totally splurgy on yourself by mindlessly going on a wild spending spree to buy everything you’ve ever wanted while forgetting that you have a budget or a financial goal to save money or anything like that…and I’m not going to do that either.   Because this whole experience is not really about money.  It is MUCH deeper than that.

In fact, this whole idea doesn’t even have to do with spending at all.  Maybe you don’t feel like you “need” a relationship, or a community, or a vacation, or a new widget.  So, No, I am not encouraging you to spend more than you have.

If your hidden belief says it is wrong to want something (say, because you really don’t *need* it and it would upset mom to ask for it) then that belief has become a limiting belief and you MUST become aware of it to change it. The beliefs that served you well as a child may not be the beliefs that will serve you best today.

Beliefs are something we can change.  Our beliefs create our thoughts, our thoughts create our stories, our stories create our experience.

What beliefs will you choose today?

Love & Magic,

Cindie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Posted in General | 14 Comments