Why am I not seeing results? I hear this question (in one form or another) pretty often. And I’ve been pondering this lately, in a personal way, and in reference to client requests as well. Why is it that sometimes we don’t see results? Or the results we are seeing are not what we desire.
Maybe we can’t lose weight, or we think we aren’t making enough money, we don’t have a loving partner or perhaps our career path seems uncertain.
We feel ready for a big shift but our efforts don’t seem to be producing the effect we want. What gives? Why do we sometimes struggle to get the results we want?
One of the things that I’ve learned over the years is that every big shift comes after a big letting go. And letting go isn’t always the easiest thing to do. Part of us holds on so tightly to our past, to our present circumstances, to our beliefs, to our judgments, to “the way it is.”
So often our “letting go” takes on a physical aspect, such as de-cluttering, giving away things we don’t use anymore, or even letting go of relationships that are no longer serving. These can all bring about shifts that often feel so much better.
But, today, I’m thinking of something deeper that we must let go of to move forward: Self judgments.
Over in the Love & Magic Salon we have a weekly exercise of consciously choosing an empowering “I AM” statement. We choose “I AM” statements that contain qualities that we consciously decide to embody. “I AM powerful”, “I AM loving”, “I AM abundant”, “I am compassionate” are just a few I’ve seen posted this month.
But I rarely talk about the other side of this – the “I AM NOT” statements that we often carry around with us. “I’m not smart enough”, “I’m not attractive enough”, “I’m not successful”, etc. These “I’m not” statements aren’t always spoken, but they are often on auto-replay in our heads. Most of us could produce a fairly long list of them if we took the time to write them all down, and they all basically boil down to “I’m not enough”.
These “I am not” statements are judgments we’ve made against our self – we’ve decided that we are not enough and the judgement has been made. Guilty as charged.
And judgment and guilt always come with punishment. They can’t be separated.
Remember, the Universe is one big mirror of our beliefs and judgments, so if we are judging our self as not enough, we will always create a reality that proves us right.
We look at our past, we judge ourselves guilty, and we create future punishing experiences for ourselves.
The remedy for this is to come into the present moment and release yourself from the seat of judgment. Today is the day to forgive and release those judgments. The past is over. Today is the day to realize that we are all, always, doing the best we can. All of us. This includes you.
You may be unhappy with something you’ve created in your reality, but realize that judging yourself because of it only creates another unhappy experience. Learn from your experience, yes, but do this without judging yourself as guilty and creating a punishing future by default. Instead, create an empowering future deliberately by recognizing that you are worthy of goodness, abundance, health, love, and anything else you desire.
When we judge our self as guilty we bind our self to the punishment in consciousness. We can never see the results we desire if we believe we aren’t supposed to have them.When we forgive ourselves we release the judgments and can then go free to enjoy the greater experiences we desire.
Instead of sitting in the seat of judgment, sit yourself down in the seat of love and forgiveness.
Here is a ritual that you can do to anchor this act of self-forgiveness.
Find a comfortable place to sit. It may be a favorite chair, or a place out in nature that you love, or you may even want to relax in a bubble bath while you do this exercise. Close your eyes and breathe deeply. As you inhale say to yourself “I am enough” and as you exhale say to yourself “I forgive myself”. Do this several times as you relax your body. Judgments may come up as you do this, your inner critic may speak up and remind you of things you wish you’d done differently, or of things you wish were different in your life right now; when this happens just breathe in and say “I am enough, and I forgive myself for that.” Do this until you feel a sense of peace and self-love. Be gentle with yourself. Make a choice for peace and allow yourself to release all of those old judgments and feelings of guilt. The first time I did this I could not believe how many judgments kept coming up, but I felt a release each time I forgave myself and by the time I had finished I felt so much bright light in my body I felt like I could burst! And then I felt so light, and so peaceful. The feeling I experienced was a knowing that anything is possible. This exercise was so powerful for me that I knew I wanted to share it with you.
And while you’re there…don’t believe that little inner gremlin voice if it tells you that this is a process that takes a long time or that you’ll never be able to forgive yourself. You can forgive yourself instantly. Decide that you’re going to be different after you do this. Decide that you are going to forgive yourself now, today. It’s a choice, and it’s a choice based in love. Choose love for yourself today.
Take yourself out of the judgment seat and sit yourself down in the seat of love and forgiveness. You are worthy of everything your heart desires.
Love & Magic,