“I will not buy a pumpkin spice latte. I will not buy a pumpkin spice latte.”
The above quote was my best friend’s Facebook status a few days ago. I laughed out loud when I read it.
I can say that I have never, not once, tasted a pumpkin spice latte. But apparently, they are very hard to resist if you have.
After she posted her status someone commented, “Go ahead and have one. You deserve it.”
Now, in all fairness…I’m not judging the comment, in fact if I understand those words to imply, “You are so wonderful, I think you should have whatever it is you desire.” – and I totally agree.
I just don’t believe that my friend deserves a pumpkin spice latte.
Because I don’t agree with the concept of “deserving.”
If you want to have a fabulous life full of love, magic, abundance, and [fill in the blank with every single thing on your wishlist], you might want to just drop the whole concept of deserve. Because believe me, it is hindering your progress.
The belief that we deserve or don’t deserve something proves to be a hindrance FAR more often than it ever helps produces anything you want in your life.
Think that you have worked hard and deserve that promotion? Are you such a good wife or husband that you deserve to be treated better by your spouse? Have you been such a great parent that you deserve your kids to always be on their best behavior?
It’s perfectly fine and good that you want those things. So want them. Get them. Have them. Enjoy them. JUST STOP believing that you deserve them.
1. If you believe you deserve it and you don’t get it, you’ll then go on to believe that “life has been unfair to you” and this IMMEDIATELY transports you to Victim Land. You don’t want to live in Victim Land. There is nothing there you want.
2. If you believe that you don’t really deserve it and you get it anyway then you may feel guilty about having it and won’t be able to enjoy it, and you may even subconsciously find a way to “get rid” of it. (Ever meet someone who continually attracts great things only to lose them again and again?)
Look, it’s not your fault. We get taught these concepts very early.
We begin our punishment and rewards journey as small people. We hear things like “Mommy and Daddy love you so much, you are such a good baby!”
Sometimes Santa Claus is involved. If you are a good little munchkin Santa will bring you lots of toys!! He keeps a list you know. If you are bad you may get a lump of coal!
We then move on to school where we are again
manipulated encouraged to do well with other incentives (Make the honor roll and we’ll buy you a new bike! Fail the exam and you won’t be going out Friday night.)
Here’s the thing – the whole concept of “deserve” is very heavy, and it packs a lot of self-sabotaging power.
We consistently create our own roadblocks because deep down we think we don’t “deserve” something. And we create a whole lot of victim energy because we believe we DO deserve some thing that we aren’t getting (which causes us to wonder if maybe we don’t deserve it after all – a vicious circle).
I know you want to have a life full of magic. I want you to have everything you desire – every single thing that lights you up, that gives you warm fuzzies, that makes you laugh, brings a smile to your face, and warms your heart.
Not because you deserve it. Just because you are you, and because a smiling, laughing, warm-hearted, lit-up version of you is the BEST version of you. Which is a wonderful thing for you, and for the whole world. The world needs you to be the best you possible, because we are all in this together and you being the best you makes the world a better place.
So get yourself a pumpkin spice latte. Not because you deserve it, but just because you want one.
Or skip it, if that is a better choice for you, not because you don’t deserve it, just because it’s the better choice.
And making the better choice brings a smile to your face, and to mine.
Love & Magic,
photo credits: hot cocoa – amenic181- freedigitalphotos.net