Do you want to find love this year? Or deepen the love you have, or attract MORE love into your life? I want to help you do that, and if you’ll commit to reading this post and staying open to what you read, you will be on your way to attracting the love you seek.
Everything that comes into our experience is attached in some way to how, or how much, we value our self.
Self love, that thing we hear so much about. “You have to love yourself first before you can love others.” -Yes, a huge cliché by now, and yet cliches exist for a reason (My Sweetheart says to me.)
Speaking of My Sweetheart, he has the flu. And
taking care loving him this week reminded me of something. How important intention is, especially when it comes to love. Because real love starts with a pure intention.
The flu is awful. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that. And every single sigh I hear him make, every painful cough, hurts me. Because I love him.
I’m thinking of how we feel when we take care of someone we love, how we can feed them soup, or stroke their brow, kiss their forehead to check for a fever, and there is NO expectation of anything in return, there is NO thought of whether or not they “deserve” our attention, there is ONLY love.
I’m thinking of the way we cuddle a pet, or play with a little child, or change a baby,…never expecting anything in return, never giving them tenderness and care because they’ve earned it in some way, but loving them just because they are.
Do you love yourself that way? When we actually do spend the time or energy to do something loving for ourselves do we have that same pure intention of giving unconditionally? I think for many of us the answer is, no. We have so many conditions attached to our self love…IF there is extra time (extra time? Really? who ever heard of such a thing?), IF there is extra money (BAHAHAHA), IF I can find something for the kids to do first, IF my boss will give me the day off, IF IF IF IF.
And many times only IF we’ve earned it. “I’ve worked so hard on this project I’m going to treat myself to [fill in blank with nice thing here]. But what if our loved ones treated us this way, only giving to us if we have “earned” it…would that really feel like love? I once talked to a nurse whose husband made her stand on the scale every night when he came home, if she was over her “ideal” weight he would say, “no fancy dinner for you tonight.” Does that sound like love? or like abuse?
Then why do we treat our self this way? I once heard someone say “If we treated our friends the way we treat ourselves we’d all go to jail.”
I understand that “not enough time” and “not enough money” are the two biggest excuses we all use for our dreams not coming true…for not loving our self the way we could.
So today, I want to give you TWENTY-TWO practical ways that you can LOVE yourself without spending a lot of either. Because finding LOVE starts here…with loving yourself. You see, when you love yourself (and I’m not talking about an IDEA, I’m talking about action) you send a message to your subconscious, as well as to The Universe and to everyone else, that YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE, that you are COMMITTED to LOVE.
Because what we are committed to happens. No excuses. You want to know what you are committed to right now, already? Look at your checkbook and your calender. That’s it. The people you spend your time with, the things you spend your time doing, the items you spend your money on…those are your commitments. Everything else is just an idea. Good idea, bad idea…doesn’t matter.
How committed are you to finding love this year? Because if you are committed to it, it will happen.
And step numero uno is loving yourself, first.
Are you ready for this? As you read through this list, listen to how many times your inner voice tells you that you don’t have enough time, you don’t have enough money …then I want you to imagine saying that to one of the people you love the most. What if you said it every single time they asked you for something…Mommy can I have a drink? Sorry I don’t have enough time to get that for you. Honey could you give me a hug? Sorry I don’t have enough time for that. Very quickly those people would get the message that you don’t love them. What kind of a message do we send when we NEVER have time for ourselves? So, earlier when I mentioned intention…each of the things listed below are meant to be done with the understanding that your intention going in is LOVE.
TWENTY-TWO WAYS to LOVE YOURSELF NOW
1. Get a hug. (Yes, you’ll have to *give* a hug to get one, unless there is no one around, then I want you to just hug yourself. I’m serious, just wrap your arms around yourself and with the same level of intention you have when you cuddle a baby, just give yourself a big hug. Not a pitiful I-feel-so-sorry-for-myself-no-one-is-here-to-hug-me type of hug, Nooooo. Just a nice big you-are-so-awesome type of hug. SMILE while you do it.
2. Smile at how clever you are. You are you know. Think of one time when you said or did something really smart/clever/funny. Think about how awesome that felt. Feel it again now. That was YOU that did/said that! You are brilliant!
3. Read some fiction. Ha! (I bet that really tripped you up…because many of the people I talk to that are frazzled from over working and over caring for everyone else answer an emphatic “NO!” when I ask them if they read fiction. Of course they don’t, that would be a waste of time!)
4. Go for a nature walk, and while you are out there spying out singing birds, beautiful flowers, big blue skies, majestic trees, recognize what a fabulous part of nature you are yourself. We are made of star stuff, you know. (repeat #1)
5. Drink something special. Maybe for you that is pure water, or a special coffee or tea, (or one of those super extra chocolaty coffee thingies with whipped cream on top). Do it with intention. Don’t gulp. Sip it slowly and enjoy every single drop. Mmmmmmm. You are SO worth this.
6. Dress up. For no reason other than this is a day to celebrate your awesomeness. Wear something expensive, or sparkly, or silky, or whatever you would normally reserve for some extra special day. GOOD perfume, RED lipstick, whatever. TODAY is that day, my friend. The time is NOW.
7. Dress down. Are you someone who “has to” dress up every single day? Kick off the high heels and wear flats. Wear jeans. Heck, wear pajamas. Be comfortable. Do you know you are worth the exact same amount (priceless!!) no matter what you are wearing? It’s true. Plus, I know you’ll do it in style.
8. Watch a movie that you’ve already seen, that you already love, that you know will make you smile and laugh. Laughter feels good. Don’t you just adore hearing someone you love laugh? Listen to yourself laughing and recognize how nice that sounds.
9. Eat some chocolate. Really good chocolate. Chocolate is traditionally a special and romantic gift. Recently someone gave me some chocolate and when I commented on how delicious it was they replied that they hadn’t ever had that particular brand, that it was “too expensive to buy for myself.” AWWWW MAN!!!!! Go buy yourself a little piece (or shoot a whole BOX) of chocolate right now. Eat it with that LOVING intention.
10. Get a manicure, or a pedicure, or both. (Here is another place where those not enough money chants starts rolling for some of you…so…give YOURSELF a manicure or pedicure. But do it with LOVE and the intention that you are worth being pampered and adored. Those FEET of yours…they do SO much for you! Be thankful and love them.
11. Look into the mirror. Take a deep breath. Look directly into your own eyes and say, “I love you. I love you SO much. You are amazing just the way you are. Thank you. Namasté.” (Namasté is a sanscrit greeting that literally means, ‘I recognize the divine light within you.’) You are FULL of divine light, believe it.
12. Schedule a physical, eye appointment, dental check-up, hearing test, or any other medical maintenance type of appointment that you are due to have.
13. Take your vitamins. If you are anything like me you may have plenty of them, and then neglect to be consistent with taking them.
14. Buy yourself some flowers. (Here we go again, right?) Chocolate, flowers…are you serious? Buy them for MYSELF?….Yes. If that not-enough-money voice starts droning on again go buy yourself ONE flower. ONE.
15. Hand creme. Put some on. Spend a few minutes doing this, and recognizing HOW MUCH your hands do for you. Aren’t they exceptionally wonderful?! Be thankful if you have a pair of them.
16. Cook what YOU like for dinner. Especially if you are a mother, or a wife, or the person who does most of the cooking in the household. How many times do you NOT cook some certain thing you like because you are the only one that likes it? And while you’re at it, break out the good china.
17. Meditate. (Here comes the not-enough-time chatter). Here ya go… <– this will take 7 minutes. Meditation is a powerful way to de-stress, recharge (I’ve heard it said that 20 minutes of meditation is worth 2 hours of sleep), AND connect with your higher self (the spiritual part of you) all at the same time. Indulge yourself. Learn to meditate.
18. Listen to your favorite music while doing NOTHING else. Headphones if possible. Turn it up. The whole album. OMG isn’t that delicious?!! You might as well dance too.
19. Wash your car. I mean seriously, you are a rock star. You don’t drive yourself around in that dirty car do you? I KNOW you would wash it if you were going to be driving (insert super sexy person’s name here) around all day.
20. If you wear make-up, clean out your makeup drawer. Wearing makeup that is past it’s prime is not healthy. You love yourself so keeping yourself healthy (and beautiful) makes sense. If it’s old throw it out and replace it. (BONUS: Shopping trip!! – and if the not-enough-money voice is whispering to you just replace ONE thing today, and ONE thing next week…lather, rinse, repeat.)
21. Learn something new. That thing you’ve always wanted to do? It is NEVER too late. Grandma Moses began her painting career when she was 78. She painted over 1500 paintings before she died at 101 years old. Go for it. That desire is there because it is part of YOU, honor it. Take some small action towards fulfilling that dream.
22. Say yes to yourself, by saying No. Or whatever else you need to say to keep your boundaries strong. Setting boundaries is an act of love.
When you show yourself some love, love will start showing up for you. When you respect yourself, others will respect you too. We teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.
If you are committed to finding love this year, or to find deeper love, or more love, I know you can. Start here. Finding love begins with you.
Love & Magic,
Image courtesy of Savit Keawtavee / FreeDigitalPhotos.net