That difficult conversation I’ve been helping you get ready for… you must make it about you.
Because… It is about YOU.
You may be hesitant to make the conversation about you, because of the popular insult, “she makes everything about her” (implying narcissism), but I am not speaking of narcissistic behaviour, I am speaking about being able to connect honestly with another person.
And the only thing YOU can really be honest and authentic about is YOU, and how YOU feel, and what YOU think, and what YOU want.
A couple of tips on how to do this:
1. Use “I” statements instead of “You” statements. Saying, “I felt sad when this happened” will be met with much less resistance than saying, “You make me sad when you do such and such.” Remember, no one can “make you” sad (or any other emotion), you get to be responsible for that part.
2. Expand your “feeling word” vocabulary. Having a small vocabulary of feeling words limits our expression. There are many more ways to feel besides happy, sad, angry…and please choose more expressive examples than “okay”, or “fine”. Saying that you are “okay” or “fine” just doesn’t give enough information.
These two tips alone will greatly improve your communication!
And if you’re ready to completely transform your relationships, check out my new eBook, The Peaceful Power Process
In Part IV we’ll address Why You Must Never Be Right.
Love & Magic,
P.S. If you missed the beginning of the series, here’s Part I.