You Determine Your Value

peacockHow do you value yourself?

(Notice that I’m not asking how MUCH value you place on yourself.)

I’m asking, “How?”

What actions do you take to show that you value yourself?

Do you ever put yourself first? Or do you always put yourself last?

Do you take care of yourself with the same love, tenderness, and persistence that you expend when taking care of others?

Do you treat yourself with respect, kindness, patience?


Do you often neglect your most basic needs (skipping meals, not getting enough sleep, not drinking enough water, shallow breathing)?

Maybe you speak in self deprecating ways (“I’m such an idiot!”)

Or you defer to everyone else’s choices: “What movie do you want to see, Cindie?”…”Oh I don’t care, let’s see whatever you want!!”  I can’t count the number of times I’ve answered a similar question like that.  For years I was so concerned with “being nice” that I ended up being a total doormat.  I pretty much always deferred to everyone about everything,  and in the process I lost nearly every shred of whatever self-esteem I had.

Do you always keep quiet instead of speaking up for yourself?

And what about the value you put on your time, your energy, your body, your mind…

Do you give these things away too frequently, too easily?

Often we undervalue ourselves out of habit, using a sort of false humility as an excuse. We don’t want to appear too proud, or selfish, or bossy, or over bearing, or [fill in the blank with your choice of undesirable personality trait].

Sometimes we undervalue ourselves because we want to be seen as nice, sweet, compassionate, loving, giving, generous, or [fill in the blank with your choice of wonderful quality here].

Sometimes with all good intention our perspective gets off balance.  We’ve all heard the expression “proud as a peacock”, but we forget that the peacock is also prized as a symbol of love, compassion, beauty, royalty, and dignity.  It’s a matter of perspective.

And even though we often undervalue ourselves with the best intentions, most of the time we experience feelings that are uncomfortable as a result.

The truth is: we determine our own value and we demonstrate it by our actions.

I challenge you to take one small action today that shows that you value yourself. Ask for what you want. Take some time for yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat someone super important, someone royal, someone due respect.

When you begin to place a higher value on yourself (again, by taking action…not just as an idea), your experience of the world around you will reflect this. You’ll feel better, experience more love, less stress, and recognize more opportunities for love, abundance, and success.

Love & Magic,







Image courtesy of Matt Banks /


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