Relationship Boredom?

A Reader asks…

Q: “I always get bored and ‘fall out of love’ after the honeymoon period. How do I keep feeling attracted to the man?”

A: First let me say that this is a question I get fairly often. There are several possible reasons why this keeps happening in your experience.

The first reason may be purely chemical, and could be connected to allowing the relationship to become sexual too soon.

How soon is too soon, you may ask?

The answer is different for each couple, of course. But if you don’t know each other well enough to know if you have all 7 ingredients of great chemistry, it is too soon.

The reason for this is that first huge dose of bonding chemicals our brain produces upon getting physical is not enough to maintain the relationship once those chemicals start balancing out, or waning.  Sexual chemistry is only one aspect of great chemistry, and as wonderful as it is, it isn’t enough.

Secondly, consider the possibility that  the “newness” of the relationship is what you are attracted to.

Many people are attracted to new exciting things, and get bored with them when that initial excitement wears thin.

There is an idea that “How you do anything is how you do everything.”

That may be hard to swallow, but it is worth considering.

Do you get bored easily with hobbies, routines, music, job choices, etc?

For example; some people get very excited over a new job position, only to get bored and want to find a new job in just a few months, or they become very enthusiastic about finding a new hobby, only to abandon it a short time later.

If this is the case, the remedy is to find new exciting things to do and explore them together as a couple.

Recognize that your happiness, your fulfillment, your level of joy and excitement is not dependent on someone else.

So, first make sure that all 7 ingredients to great chemistry are present, and then make a choice to discover excitement together, instead of expecting the other to provide it.

Love & Magic,


P.S. If you are ready for LOVE, I encourage you to listen in to The Love Summit!  I’ll be speaking along with 17 other relationship experts!






Image courtesy of David Castillo /

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